I teach you from my life, the lives of my Alphas and the world around us. One thing that just popped out very strongly (i.e. 4 different Alphas tripped over this recently) is difficultly switching gears.

Meaning, once you get the bit between your teeth, you go all bull in a china shop and you can’t 1) slow down 2) course correct 3) admit you’re wrong or 4) stop before “it” appears done (by YOUR Alpha standards).

Relentless focus is a badass strength when you NEED to stay locked on target. But what about when you need to ease off the gas? When new info arrives that says you are going the wrong way or at least, the long way? What about when the person you are working for TELLS you to do LESS? Or go faster?? 

I have coined a term for this. You suffer from OA. OverAlphaing. 

Where Do You LOCK IN and Can’t Stop?

That is a place you need to look at. You need to lock yourself in a safe room and perform an exorcism on that demon driving you past warning signs. 

Anytime you find any place inside of you, where YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOU, you should be very afraid.  I’m sorry (not sorry) this sounds like a horror movie trailer. It is a horror movie.

My wonderful assistant is an Alpha and suffers from OA. I have to be very careful to give her boundaries, time limits and urgencies.  

When you suffer from OA these are your BFFs! They will keep you from running 12 miles in the wrong direction on a 2 mile assignment. 

So Here’s a Quick Checklist For Handling Things

In Your Known OA zones:

1. Do I have a time limit?
2. How will I know when I am done?
3. Do I clearly understand the purpose of what I am doing?
4. Am I willing to be called off this task?
5. What time am I going to bed? (set two ALARMS, you’ll ignore #1)
6. How often will I check in to get feedback on my direction & results?
7. Under what circumstances will I stop, without calling myself a failure?

The Universe, God, your best friend, your boss and your coach (ME!) need to be able to shift you without a battle plan.

You will do a LOT less damage to yourself when you learn to shift gears in your life like a manual engine.

You take foot off gas, engage the clutch, mindfully select & shift to your new gear and THEN re-engage gas. Need help?

In Joy,

Have you enjoyed learning how to build your empire? What to DO and what to avoid so far? The most valuable part of the 4 Unknown Laws of Empire Building is them being all about YOU. They are NOT about getting funding. Not about networking. Not about social media marketing campaigns. 

None of those things will work, if you don’t obey (Law #1-Now!) (Law #2-Narrow!) (Law #3-Great Founders). Let’s close our empire building laws with perhaps the MOST important one of all…

Drowning People Can’t Save OTHER Drowning People

When you read this next part you’re going to get it. The Universe is benevolent. So it’s not going to send you customers and clients, when you aren’t capable of helping them well. The litmus test of how well you can help them… drumroll…is always how well YOU are helping YOU!

Much like a test, you have to pass a certain number of lessons before you can receive your “certification” from the Universe. Once you are “certified” it will happily direct a flow of money, clients and resources to you to safely handle.

Now I will drop a giant piano of truth: Your intentions to help pale against your own personal security. That does not mean that you have to be perfect. It does not mean you have to be “done.” It does mean Law #3 applies – be in integrity, don’t save others while you are on fire.

When you begin to consistently do well for yourself, you can then spread that abundance to others using your business. Eventually, critical mass is achieved. At that moment, momentum kicks in and you begin to attract whatever & whoever you need to grow exponentially, almost like magic.

When your focus is to “save the world”, it is one of fear and lack. You’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t do something. It underscores a belief that the Universe is not friendly and people as victims. 

Now can you see why that is not rewarded??

You Need a Benefactor

Who you become and therefore who you attract is a critical factor in the building of a healthy empire. Empires need benefactors.

Empire benefactors are met not made.

Thus, you must feel attractive, look healthy and appear “helpable” to those who can “make” you in a moment.

Unknown Law #4 of Empire Building:

Save Yourself First

If you are mess, you will attract MESSES.

Messes repel MONEY.

You don’t need lots of money to fix your messes. Start small and fix what you can, from where you are with what you have. 

Do you sleep 8 hours? No? Mess.

Are you overweight? Yes? Mess.

Do you require discipline and give consequences to your children? No? Mess.

Do you rescue others with YOUR last money/energy/time? Yes? Mess. 

Are you impeccable with your word TO YOURSELF? No? Mess.

Your Survival Needs Cannot Wait

These are not habits that Empire builders have. This is not because they NEVER had them. They just reached a day where they dropped the proverbial hammer and said enough is enough. STOP IT. (And yes, they used coaches.)

You have doubtless heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (google it if not). The first layer of needs on his need pyramid are SURVIVAL NEEDS.

You shouldn’t be trying to vacation, align your chakras, open a non-profit or anything ELSE if your survival needs aren’t secured. You can’t even save a marriage before handling this.

Save you first. And now. 

If you don’t know how to do that, hit reply and ask me. If you have survival need issues, can you afford coaching? Nope. But you need it and I’ll give you a direction to head in, a hug and friendly shove to start you on the right path. Hint: That’s my “Do Good” step below.

How to Get a Benefactor (& How to Repel Them)

I love it when love and money overlap because they are very closely related energetically.

1. Look Good
2. Be Good
3. Do Good (Your Best)

So yes, these will work to attract ANY person/organization of quality that is “ahead” of you in development. 

Look Good- Your business and YOU should look good. Yes, that means decent branding and visible health on your part. The business or concern should look pulled together (organized) and not just skin deep!

Be Good- This is that darn integrity bit again! Take the high road. Every time. Do what you say and a little extra. Your character counts. 

Do Good- What you do when no one can see COUNTS. Become a Benefactor to someone BEHIND YOU. Be careful that it is not a handout or a rescue.

If you look, be and do good consistently, you will attract attention from people positioned to make a difference in your life. The law is like to like and you want to make yourself your BEST YOU to leverage the BEST HELP you can attract. Make sense?

How do you repel a benefactor (or a quality mate for that matter?)Need them. Demand them. Fixate on their necessity. Be a victim. Feel entitled to them. Don’t prepare for them before they arrive. That’ll pretty much do it.

Look Good – Be Good – Do Good.

Attract your Benefactor and assure the Universe it can trust you with it’s children.

In Joy,

Before you set out to become the queen of nutritional supplements, foreign travel or revolutionize venture capital…there is one tiny little thing you need to attend to first…YOU!

We’ve covered your focus, the when (Law #1-Now!) and the where (Law #2-Narrow!), now let’s talk about who YOU need to be. Hint: Laws 3 and 4 can be the hardest of The 4 Unknown Laws of Empire Building.

I’m game if you are!

Do What YOU Want Others to Do FIRST

I’ve worked with high-level direct sales executives (that’s another term for people in MLM’s and cosmetics and nutrition companies that sell using home parties). I’ve seen people attempting to sell thousands of dollars of nutrition products AND THEY SMOKE. Get it? Not a good fit.

My best friend has been an insurance agent, among other things, for over 30 years. She firmly believes that her sales shifted once she “took her own advice” and bought herself a policy when she was a young single mom, even though she couldn’t really afford it.

The tools that I give you to unspin yourself, make decisions, and figure out how to get back on track are the exact same tools that I use to do all of those same things!

I stand for coaching high-achievers to success without struggle. That means it’s very important for me to reduce and eliminate struggle from my OWN life and keep it that way.

Do not ever attempt to sell to others what you are not doing for yourself.

Empires are built by attraction of disciples and converts, to a movement where they WITNESS the founder in joyful alignment with her own mission.

Unknown Law #3 of Empire Building:

Integrity – You Must Reflect What You Sell

Okay, it seems to go without stating that those selling weight loss products need to be visibly fit.  Those selling travel need to TRAVEL and LIKE IT. These are easy ones.  (It is STILL a mystery to me why soo many hair dressers with bad hair have clients!)

I have an Alpha who very successfully sells coaching and consulting to folks in the business world. To work with her is high ticket. Unfortunately, in building the base of her empire and jetting all over the world, she compromises on her private time. She cares soo much for everyone else, they are often ahead of her!

This is out of integrity. The main reason someone BUYS her services, is to create a life of abundance – money AND time. She is reflecting only half of the fruits her own work can generate.

I know where you are going… NO, you do not have to be rich to sell things to rich people (but it actually does help). You DO need to be creating or already living the life that your clients buy your product to GET. It is the LIFE (not the product) they actually want.

Empire Founder Questions:

1. Do I reflect the results of my product?
2. Am I personally valuing what my clients NEED to value, to want my services?
3. Where can I do a little bit better, with the things no one sees, so I FEEL less like an impostor?

In Joy,

P.S. Are you enjoying the Empire Building series? Hit reply and say hello. It makes me smile to hear from new Alphas…

Want to leave your legacy? Forge your footprint? Create your calling? Good. Those are all big things. You can get there IF you heed the 4 Unknown Laws of Empire Building that will protect you from starting strong and fizzling.

Last week we talked about the WHEN of your focus –  you have to stay in the present moment – The 4 Unknown Laws of Empire Building #1. Now, let’s talk about the WHAT of that focus.

You Can Do Many Things, But Start With ONE

Trying to be all things to all people means you are nothing to everyone. Do not convince yourself that you need to focus on the entire pet world as your market, instead of just lap dogs under 25 pounds that live in high-rise condos. Yes, I just made that up but the last time I checked the pet market is over $4 billion. You don’t need all of the pet owners in the world!

Once you have mastered a small segment –  meaning you have gone deep into a narrow segment – THEN you can go broad. You will have the trust of the entire segment you proved yourself to. They will seek out your counsel for other areas and vouch for your credibility.

Empires are built by first lining up tall narrow columns,

and then putting a broad flat roof on top.

Unknown Law #2 of Empire Building:

Focus Narrow First

Everyone has a few gurus they follow. If you notice, they were masters of a topic, a subject or leader to a particular group FIRST. They rose to power on that and THEN branched out.

Paul Dean, Rachel Ray, Kathy Ireland, Martha Stewart, Cindy Crawford. Do you really think they personally know how to make skillets, curtains or couches? NO. They rose in their own personal COLUMN to prominence andthen they can sell…apparently…anything.

I need you to get good at one thing. Really good at one thing.

If you try to get really good at 4 things, it either won’t work or it will take exponentially longer.  They say mastery comes in 10,000 hours. Stop splitting up your TIME FOCUS.

The Foundational Work of Empire is Building Strong Columns

Your work is in getting clarity on where to drive your first column. If you pick poorly, you will hit solid rock to blast through or lose interest in your work before you have enough momentum to sustain long term growth.

Know one more reason why doing what you love is important? Because you will need to keep doing the same THING over and over and over. No one talks about this.

If you don’t like dogs, running a doggie daycare will begin to feel like a prison to you, even if it’s profitable. As a founder, our job is to attract resources in the form of people, followers, contacts and contracts. The energy and passion you use to tell your story to do that in year 1 can’t fade away by year 3 or your resources will fade with it.

If you don’t have clarity on where to “dig” your column and want to make sure that you can go the distance, hit reply and ask to talk to me. I’ll help you.

Another narrow column you must build is your business infrastructure.

Do not let yourself branch out until you have solid systems, repeatable process, predictable cashflow, consistent lead generation and reliable employees who can train others.

Dinner first, dessert second. For entrepreneurs like us, dropping the singular, narrow focus for the “new” thing IS dessert! Clean your plate first Alphas!

In Joy,

P.S. THIS Perfect Square is The Alpha Life

This month we will focus on how to build your empire. Or rather, the 4 Unknown Laws of Empire Building and How NOT to build your empire!

I know you have dreams. Big ones. Come on this journey with me and learn what others are not teaching you. I’m a Foundations Coach. I teach you how to rebuild your foundation and guide you with Counter-Intuitive advice.

Why Counter-Intuitive? What I teach generally goes against conventional wisdom. That is a good thing! Conventional wisdom generated this in 2017:

• 78% of U.S. Full time workers live paycheck to paycheck (up from 75% last year)
• 71% of U.S. full-time workers are in debt (up from 68% last year)
  
• 57% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings

That is why we need more advice that is AGAINST the mainstream. We need more Empire builders.  And if that is you (you are in the right place) you need to pay close attention this month. Let’s start 🙂

Empire? Yes. Right Now? No.

So you want an empire…OK. We can do that. But…not Right Now.

So what is a girl to do??

If you’ve been following me for any time, you’ve heard me talk about the ego and how it wants to keep you away from the Alpha life. Your ego is extremely good at using anything around to suit it’s purpose of blocking your good. Ego loves to use noble intentions like building an empire against you.

The Problem With Your Focus

How does it do that? Simple. When you are focusing on your Empire – you’re looking too far out. It’s like needing to lose 60 pounds and you’re focused on finding the clothes for when you get down to a size 2. You can go find clothes for size 2. But that doesn’t help you lose that 60 pounds.

You stay stuck right where you are, because you’re pursuing the very end of your rainbow instead of getting busy with your first, foundational steps.

Empires must have very, very firm foundations. That is why you must pay attention to the building of that foundation right now. The NOW is where your focus needs to be.

Watch yourself. Do you often talk about the $250,000, half million, $1M in income and that empire?  That language tells you that you are future focused and not present moment focused.

Unknown Law #1 of Empire Building:

Never Set Out to Build an Empire 

You attract way too much resistance and throw too much pressure on your path when trying to supersize everything now. Sara Blakely, the woman who built the Spanx empire (net worth $1.01B) did not think “empire” the first day she cut the legs of her pantyhose. And “This is it! NOW, I have my empire!” probably wasn’t Ms. Huffington’s thought in her first months either. That thinking takes you OFF track.

Most of the people you see with empires are telling you their empire story in hindsight. What all of them did do, is begin where they WERE, with what they HAD and kept GOING.

Empires begin with mastery of where you are currently and where you next need to be. Make that your focus. You will still get there and get there faster.

In Joy,

P.S. Some of you are bound to write to me and say ” but you get what you focus on!” Let me expand that for you, You get what you focus on UNRESISTED.

Week 4 is about Explaining! This is the final week of “Ex Energy”. Your Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations bring you emergencies, hurt your money & relationships and lower your self-love.

I’m going to challenge you to act on all you’ve learned this month about Ex- Energy, but first, let’s spend time with the grand daddy of them all. Explaining.

Catch up on your Ex-Energy Series!

Do you want:

Respect or Exceptions? 

Trust or Excuses? 

Confidence or Extensions?

Explanations Cheat Consequences

What You are Doing: You give your result and then you launch into explanations. You are either casting doubt on your best or didn’t do your best and are seeking a backdoor out of your consequences.

Note: Explanations are the MOST insidious of the 4 Ex-Energies because they always accompany requests for Extensions & Exceptions and justify our Excuses.

Harm It Causes: Criticizing.

Explanations cause ALL the Ex-Energy harms at once. Feeling the need to give them or receiving them damages TRUST, destroys RESPECT and kills CONFIDENCE. Where you are seen as untrustworthy, unrespectable and weak – you are powerless, BLAMED and micromanaged.

What It Attracts Energetically: Weak & Critical People.

If you are giving the explanations, you attract critical people. If you are accepting them, you draw weak people. People who always have a “story”.

Back when I ran my law firm, we called these the “what-had-happened-was” folks. You do not like these people and cringe when you know you have to rely on them for anything.  And if this is you? You subconsciously self-loathe YOURSELF (not the behavior). You will always have a story instead of your result.

What You Get When You Stop: Power. A feeling that you can control your surroundings and yourself. We give explanations to avoid consequences primarily out of fear of responsibility. Restore responsibility, you get control and power.

You may also be in the habit of unnecessary, nervous explaining. Notice and reduce it. You’ll feel stronger & happier.

Explaining Makes Us Unhappy

Have you noticed that in general you do NOT feel happy when you have to give an explanation? There is a automatic sense of shame or less-than-ness attached to it. They don’t play well together.

Where does that come from? Good efforts and results don’t NEED explanations and bad efforts and results are rarely saved by them.

Remember Lucille Ball? “Luuuuccccy, you have some ‘splaining to do!!!” And cue the sheepish look on her face as she tried to get out of something SHE DID.

An Advantage to NOT Explaining

I had an Alpha, N, who was often late. One simple rule helped her improve that greatly. I told her she was not allowed to EXPLAIN why she was late to the people she inconvenienced.  That helped her shift her behavior.

The ability to give an explanation had made being late ok. Once she couldn’t give one, she felt terrible for being late and nipped it in the bud. (Love you N!)

When I was married, I endured years of my ex-husband’s repeated apologies for the exact same things. I finally told him he had to stop apologizing.Why?  Because the ability to APOLOGIZE cleaned everything up well enough. He was left with insufficient pain to motivate him to change his behavior.

Happiness is NOT having to explain anything. Sometimes that is because you are in charge but even better if it is because your good results don’t NEED defending.

>> 72 Hr. No Ex-Energy Challenge<<<

I invite you to take the 72 hour NO EX-ENERGY challenge.

No Exceptions, No Extensions, No Excuses

and No Explaining for 72 hours.

This will be hard for many of you.

Change your performance or choices so you do not NEED to explain your results. Note, I am not telling you to refuse to explain poor performance. I am suggesting that if you COULDN’T “explain it away” you would be motivated to do better the first time around.

On the flip side, some of you are not explaining poor performance, you are explaining to compensate for poor self-confidence.  Your explanations given for good results, make people look at your good work AS IF it is POOR.

Train yourself to notice if you are a nervous explainer. You are inviting unnecessary criticism of yourself. You get what you offer & what you fear.

When you stop looking at what could go wrong, others will also. In that new, healthier space, you can lean back, breathe and feel happier.

72 hours. Can you do it? Tell me your results. I want stories!!

In Joy,

P.S. The Alpha Schools are almost here! Check us out!

I am so excited to share with you what I have been working on for months now. All my focus was to listen to my heart and God and do whatever I was called to do. How about, create 3 new online schools for Alphas and men at ALL levels, starting at $0?? For High Achieving Alphas, Men, Alphas struggling. All of y’all!

Extensions Destroy Discipline

I created the Alpha Life Community College for my survivors, who are battling something keeping your money tied up. Alpha Life Community College is FREE. If you are WALKING on the road to success and want to catch a ride, go to Alpha Life Community College.

Finally, there is Alpha Life Academy. Academy is only for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs who have 6 figure income experience. You get it all. Private coaching, mentoring, masterminds, new monthly skill courses, life and business training. ALL of it. You are sometimes FLYING down the road of success, just too low.

Academy is by application only and begins at $497.

Which School Fits Your Life Best?

ALPHA LIFE COMMUNITY COLLEGE – $0 F.R.E.E. My give back.

ALPHA LIFE UNIVERSITY JUNIORS – $27/mo Life Foundations

ALPHA LIFE UNIVERSITY SENIORS – $97/mo with Business Training

Please click here to tell me just your name & email if you are interested in ALCC or ALU. No money. Just getting an early head count. 

Everyone that raises their hand to join before the official grand opening will be added to their school’s Founder’s Circle for LIFE and get extra perks.  

 Several of these full courses will be included for ALU Seniors. Academy gets ALL of these and more. 

Goals, Motivation, Confidence, Speaking, Peak Productivity, 30 Day Business Bootcamp, Facebook Messenger Bots, Dignity & Self-Worth and MORE.

ALPHA LIFE ACADEMY – Starts at $497/mo for EVERYTHING

The Academy is built for HIGH-ACHIEVING ALPHA WOMENENTREPRENEURS to help build their Perfect Square of Life: Intentional Health, Wealth, Love & Mission.

Full Brochure PDF HERE  (I think it’s pretty & I’m proud of it, take a peek, instant download, no email)

You Can Apply HERE

WANT TO DO THIS TOGETHER? APPLY NOW!

In Joy,

P.S. I’ve never emailed you an attachment! I tried it. If it didn’t work you can click here to get the 1 page flyer for all 3 schools 🙂

Irony that I am drafting the Extensions coaching late at night?? No worries. I never allow myself any Ex energy when it comes to YOUR coaching posts.

We are in Week 3 of “Ex Energy: Excuses, Extensions and Explanations. Are you spotting more of this in your world?

Prior coaching posts – Do you want Trust or Excuses? and How Do EXCEPTIONS Ruin Your Life? 

Extensions Destroy Discipline

What You are Doing: Asking to turn in your work after the original deadline. Most usually it is requested right at (or worse) after the deadline.

Harm It Causes: Loss of Growth.

You don’t change and grow because you aren’t disciplined enough to push to deliver the “new” thing. Those around you stay stuck where they are and you are enabling. And you never see what you could do if you stretched.

What It Attracts Energetically: Unmotivated People.

People who fight change. Situations full of last minute chaos and disorder. Anxiety. Multiplies victims to keep asking and rescuers to keep granting extensions. Disrespect others time and someone must disrespect yours.

What You Get When You Stop: Confidence. It gives you a Sense of Power knowing you WILL hit your milestone no matter what. That grows your confidence. When you are the being that person, others lean into their confidence of you, resulting in more opportunities and power.

Can we all agree that we LIKE extensions when they are given to us? And hate them when they are imposed on us?

The Universe is consistent and being of two minds on an issue is not allowed to prosper anywhere (not even in politics, despite appearances).

Here’s 3 Reasons Why You Should

AVOID Asking for Extensions over the next 30 days:

1) You become a worse money and time manager.

Extension seeking trains you to NOT manage your time & resources well. 

Extension seeking trains you to NOT manage your time & resources well. 

Do you remember before there were cell phones? Remember what happened when you made plans with your friends? Once they left their house, those plans were LOCKED. No texting, “I need another hour please.”

2) Your ability to keep a commitment weakens. 

Extensions that are always granted make deadlines a “suggestion”.

You get into the habit of keeping a suggested deadline only if it’s convenient. 

According to Ken Blanchard, “There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses – only results.”   Well said Ken.

3) You’ll get the same treatment back, when you can least afford it. 

Extensions open you up to everyone else’s bad behavior & requests, timely or not.

From a energetic standpoint, there is no “I can do it and not get it done back to me.” If you don’t want it or like it, don’t do it. Meeting a hard deadline is one of the best methods you have to increase your confidence in yourself. 

You know someone who lost a lot of weight and got super confident right? They think it’s the weight loss! That’s just part of it. The BIGGER part is that they showed up for themselves! They held the line. Their discipline led to result of confidence in their ability to execute a hard decision. 

Question – What are you giving yourself an extension on? Paying down debt? Growing your business? Getting a mentor or coaching? Do what you need to do. At least find a way to begin today. Ask me for help.

In Joy,

P.S. I am going to LEAK the new logos to you! I have been building a school! Actually 3 online schools!

Alpha Life Community College, Alpha Life University (Juniors & Seniors) and my baby, Alpha Life Academy (only 6 figure Alpha Women Entrepreneurs).

I’ll send an invite out on Friday! (I know if I declare it here, I won’t give myself an extension and then I’ll have to do it!) Community College is FREE. It’s my way to leave NO Alpha behind. University Juniors are only $27/mo. Hit reply and tell me if you think this is COOL 😛 I may leak some of the curriculum Friday too…

We are on week 2 of “Ex Energy”. Your relationship to Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations will tell us a LOT about how your life is going.

A life that is consciously created doesn’t have lots of EMERGENCIES. Guess what Ex Energy attracts?? Emergencies! By the bucketful. And if you keep having emergencies (yours or someone else’s) you are drowning in Ex Energy.

Review last week’s coaching post – How Do EXCEPTIONS Ruin Your Life?

Excuses Reduce Reliability

(last week typo correction- Exceptions Bend Boundaries)

What You Are Doing: Your (insert name of someone you care about) didn’t do (insert thing they promised to do that you need) and the “WhatHadHappenedWas” Fairy has come to town! Or it’s YOU telling the “story.”

Harm It Causes: Loss of Trust.

You aren’t trusted to get big things done. You don’t trust yourself and lack of trust is rarely limited to one area- it spreads like weeds. Or you feel like an idiot for trusting this person just “one” more time.

What It Attracts Energetically: Unreliable People.

People who will say they support you but then don’t. Things that “fall through” as the last minute. Lies from others and self-deception for you. The untrustworthy also attract Rescuers for balance.

What You Get When You Stop: Trust.

Trust is a requirement for being given power and greater control. This is true externally in a business and internally in your own emotional world. Trust is a requisite for love of self and being able to BE loved by others.

Which are you? The excuse maker or excuse taker or God help you, both?

Alphas are often hard on themselves, so you don’t often make excuses to OTHERS. You make excuses to YOURSELF. Stop it. The energetic effect is the same if not worse! It says you are worth less than everyone else. 

Here is your Excuse Exercise (that has a nice ring to it!):

1) Make a list of the top 5 people that you “accept” excuses from.

2) Note next to their name the area of life you accept these excuses in – Health, Wealth, Love or Self-Expression.  (Note this for your own excuses too!)

3) Now, note how YOU show up for these top 5 no-show people on a scale of 1-10 where 6 is meh, 7 is good, 8 is great, 9 is extraordinary and 10 is epic.

Conclusion Time:

If you’ve done this work you know notice that you are giving way to much to people who are not giving you the same respect & reliability. Giving where you don’t ever get on the same level creates TRUST issues for you.

***Please be EXTRA alarmed if your treatment is better for the highest no-shows and more average for the tame ones. The worse they are, the better you are is a BIG No-No!

You’ve also determined what area that you devalue the most. This is the area that you need the most love and should intentionally work to improve your trust in.

Hint: Mine used to be Love, now that’s better, but the area where I still take & make the most excuses is Wealth. Discovering and owning this truth is like a $5,000 moment I’m giving you. Take it and do something about it.

EXcuses are ruining your life. Giving or accepting.

In Joy,

P.S. You may really have to LOOK. Once I started writing this series, I uncovered areas of Ex energy I hadn’t even noticed! I am in a moratorium on receiving Ex energy for the rest of the month! Join me! Just say no to your Exs!! 

We are starting our “Ex Energy” 4 part series today 🙂

It’s time for us to have a discussion that no one else is having – we’re gonna talk about you and Ex Energy. And to clear this up from the start, I am not talking about you and your ex-husband!

I am talking about your relationship with Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations. Because all these exes are ruining your life.

To have an Alpha Life – where you find happiness, feel loved and make money with less struggle – you have to start changing your ways around your Ex Energy.

Will work through this this month one “Ex” at a time learning –

• What you were doing
• The harm it causes
• What it attracts energetically, and finally
• What you get when you stop.

Let’s start with Exceptions! 

Exceptions Reduce Reliability

What You Are Doing: Someone comes to you, they knew the deadline and now they’re asking you to make an exception and you do it (or it’s you doing the asking!).

Harm It Causes: Loss of Respect.

You don’t respect your limits and you don’t respect other people’s limits.

What It Attracts Energetically: Pushy People.

People who push past your boundaries. People who don’t respect your feelings. People who think the rules don’t apply. Jobs and colleagues who ask way too much of you.

What You Get When You Stop: Respect.

Respect from others and respect for yourself in the form of self-worth.

No matter how far back you go in time – you find that eventually people had to erect some type of visible boundary to keep other people from encroaching on their “land” and taking their stuff. Without a clear boundary, many people feel almost invited to help themselves when they are in need.

Alpha, it is loving to have boundaries for other people. It is loving to have boundaries for yourself. Where those boundaries need to be depends on where the greatest areas of transgression or encroachment are in your life.

If you’re not very good at moderating your alcohol intake and drink till you wobble with an open bar and designated driver – you might want to consider a boundary there. Be wary of your tendency to make exceptions for yourself and others because enough exceptions eviscerate the rule.

Spiritually, when you are continually letting people through a gap in your fence the Universe will come help you. It will help you, by sending more cows!

The more cattle that come through that opening, the more trampled your fence gets and eventually you don’t HAVE a fence anymore. Hint.

Source is trying to get you to notice that you need to repair your fences!

Get yourself out of this Ex Energy and spend the rest of this week noticing where you make and ask for exceptions and then… Stop it!

In Joy,

P.S. Are there good Exceptions? Trick question. A good exception is one that isn’t permitted so often that there is a worn path to that spot. A good exception is based on LOVE and not fear. And it is NOT loving to enable those we care about because we are afraid they can’t toe a line that they SHOULD. Capish?

Hop on FB and watch this discussion live this Friday at 11am EST – FB – Tanya Stewart, Esq.