Health & Wellbeing

[Confidence] 1 Thing You DON’T Know About Fear…(but you should)

1 Thing You DON’T Know About FEAR…(but you should)

You can’t reduce FEAR.
I’m sorry. Most of us think that you can “turn the knob” down on a fear, much like you’d lower the volume on the car radio.

We think there are things we can do, or say, or places we can “be” that will turn down the fear. Lessen it. It cannot be done directly.

There is no way to PUSH down a fear. When you push against it, energetically it RESISTS you and grows stronger. You can only pull in love.

This is an attraction based universe, which means you can’t really push anything away. The one activity you CAN do is to pull things.

If something is on a pulley, you pull down and it goes up – that’s a good image for this.




When you pull down on the pulley of fear, what really happens is love is coming up!

Practical Application:
When something is not working, focus on what can make it better instead of what can stop it from getting worse.

An Alpha fighting with her husband in a shaky marriage. He just said something horrible to you. Again.

If you really want to save this marriage, which of these is the correct focus:

A)   What could make this situation better right now? What can make me feel better right now?                                vs.

B)    What do I need to DO to keep him from saying that dumb $#@! to me again?

is the winner. It pulls in love
with you and is about you.

Your child is scared of the boogie man in the dark. You cannot reason away this fear, i.e., you cannot reduce the fear, turn down the knob or push their fear away. 

What do you do? As a mom you know the answer, you pull in love. You love them up to increase their feeling of security and protection.

are that little child when things get really bad. When things hit the fan, find a way to pull in some love. 

The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. They are like light and dark, matter and antimatter and cannot occupy the same space. If fear is present, you cannot push it out unless you bring some love in.

Need another example?
Guilt and forgiveness. Guilt is a form of fear and forgiveness is a form of love. If you want to lessen guilt, you need to increase the forgiveness. Have you ever just been able to stop feeling guilty??

This lesson applies year-round, for your entire life, but it’s especially important for the holidays. You’ll see fear masquerading as guilt, stress, excess, withdrawal, frustration and blaming.

Do not attack the fear (or your mother-in-law) and attempt to “solve it” Alpha.
Turn UP the love in the situation. Sometimes you can do that directly WITH the person that’s the issue or sometimes just making the environment better will help. 

As we approach our respective holidays (my trifecta is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve) just remember that pulling in love is more reliable than trying to fix the crazy family.

Why am I talking about serious stuff and not giving you my Guilt-Free Dark Chocolate Avocado Cookie recipe? 1 – no one ASKED for my recipe! And 2 – Like I said in Wednesday’s post the holidays are not ALL love and light.

I struggled through them for years and every freaking article I read about how ‘Richard Simmons happy’ I should be, made me feel WORSE! So, the support is here. I love you!


P.P.S. Got $17? Save it! I am not immune to Black Friday. We WILL have a cool Black Friday Deal. And, unlike the rest of the damn Universe, it will come out ON Black Friday 😊 You’ll have 72 hours to grab it up before it goes.


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[Confidence] 1 Thing You DON’T Know About Fear…(but you should)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Holidays] Deck with Halls with Anxiety & Blues! (One Cure Inside)

Deck the Halls with Anxiety & Blues!! (One Cure Inside)

Yep. Holidays. As a divorce 
lawyer, I used to marvel at how many people pretend to LIKE the holidays and won’t admit it stresses them out.

 take quick inventory – Count how many of these you associate the Holidays with:

  1. Having to see people you don’t like but can’t leave
  2. Having to clean your house when you don’t have time
  3. Having to cook. A LOT. A WHOLE LOT.
  4. Having to spend money you may not have on gifts, parties and frippery
  5. Having to see your scale inch up
  6. Having to act happy when you may not be
  7. Having to feel guilty at your “first world” problems
  8. Having to go through another __________ this year
  9. Having to travel, buy everything, wrap everything, bring everything and serve everyone
  10. Having to endure the over-commercialization of the holidays

Alphas HATE not having CHOICE and all 10 of those things appear to take away our CHOICE.


Means you read this in the toilet, in between phone calls or can’t count.

 Common! Don’t beat yourself up.

 Did you need me to tell you this is not good?

 You need a Holiday intervention because you feel trapped in too many ways and have so many associations that hurt, that it’s hard for you to enjoy the moments that DO work.

I have personally gone from an 8 (did NOT like the holidays back then, in my Superwoman days) to a 1. (#10. Just because you stick red glitter on “it” does NOT mean I’m going to buy it.)

Here is ONE CURE

Decide what ONE thing that you WANT to have 
happened this holiday that would light you up and…PROTECT IT.

Do not permit yourself to LOSE that one thing. Tell your husband and children what it is and ask them for THEIR ONE THING. Everyone agrees to protect each person’s ONE THING. (Where you can, the more your ONE THING doesn’t require others the better!)

You would 
be shocked at how being able to rely upon, 100%, on a single piece of coming joy can change things for you.

So, if you freakin’ NEED Christmas Eve church service 
or the kids to sleep in
till at least 7 am or to NOT do the damn dishes after the family gathering – then make that the ONE THING and protect it.

Ask for what you need Alpha (the ONE THING).

If the ONE THING you really need is me in your life, kicking your butt with love and making the crooked places straight –
 ASK FOR IT.  (Don’t assume you can’t afford it!)

2018 can be different. Can be easier with family, safer with money, healthier with your body and more connected to your Source. ASK.

Get your ONE THING and protect it. The rest? Let it go.


 Don’t fall into the Holiday extremes! You don’t have to be a Ba Humbug complainer who feels beat up the WHOLE TIME but be careful you aren’t PollyAnna-ing your way through the season either!

If you tell your truth you can enjoy when you ARE happy and own when things are harder and ask for help. Don’t pretend the whole season is “perfect”. Just get your ONE THING.

I think all Alphas need a life-sized Alpha Coach for 2018! Hit reply & tell me the #1 thing you’d get help with next year if you had me…


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[Holidays] Deck the Halls with Anxiety & Blues!! (One Cure Inside)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Sabotage] NEVER Start at the Beginning

NEVER Start at the Beginning…

Seriously. Why not? Because starting at the beginning is about

I get it. You want to: 
  • Start where you feel you are supposed to
  • Start where everyone expects you to and
  • Start where it’s easiest.

Starting Where You feel You Are Supposed To and Where Others EXPECT You too are the SAME.

This is you looking for approval. Approval is a fancy word for love. Alphas fear losing love, so we make sure we turn in a good performance because an “A” grade means we are good enough and lovable. 

This is also you looking for “insurance”. If I do it “right”, it has to work. Tell me how to do it “RIGHT,” you say. Tell me exactly where I should BEGIN.

Here’s the funny part. We have been trained that beginning at the “beginning” is easiest.




It’s actually HARDER because of all the mental gymnastics you have to do to try to IDENTIFY the beginning and convince yourself it’s the right starting spot. All that costs time, money and energy. And it opens the door to doubt, delay and distraction.

Where should you begin? I recommend the middle. Meaning, just begin.

As soon as you begin, you will easily see how to course correct yourself back to the best place to start.


Let’s say you want to become a motivational speaker. Where in the world do you begin?
 See how daunting than this? If you start in the middle, you might just grab a course and start trying to book a speech. During that process, you might discover that you are a wiz at outlining your talk and even delivering it but are absolutely AWFUL trying to “sell” yourself on the phone to get booked.

That gives you clear information on a “new”, more useful starting place.

If you just begin, the Universe can course correct you faster and far easier than while you are still in your head, trying to get all of your ducks in a row.

I’ve talked about this before as perfect timing.

Do not attempt to begin at the beginning.

Ever talk to a girlfriend who is sobbing with a broken heart? Do you MAKE her start at the beginning?
 NO. You let her start the story wherever she CAN and you still get the whole story! Give yourself the same grace and kindness.

Start with the reality of where you are and begin WHEREVER you can, just begin.


  Soon I’ll be talking to you about Joining Alpha Group Coaching Class of 2018 that starts in February. I’ll tell you to start from where you are and just figure out how to get yourself IN. Just figure out how to BEGIN SOMEWHERE. Starting messy is what champions do. Starting perfect is what poor people do.


P.P.S. Whatever popped into your head while you were reading – THAT is what you must begin. Do it now. Do something towards it TODAY 🙂


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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
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[Sabotage] NEVER Start at the beginning.Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Goals] What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?

What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?

What MUST you do if you want to ensure your goal has 100% chance of succeeding?

(And YES! This is a trick question.)

 Start from wherever you actually ARE, at this moment.

You would be surprised at how often everybody wants to start their project, dream, goal, improvement or whatever from the place they are NOT currently at. 

People will decide they’re going to “start changing their lifestyle” once they lose the first few pounds.

People tell me they’re going to start coaching with me as soon as their marriage situation calms down, the kids are stable at school and they’ve saved up some money.

That is the same stuff I help you DO inside of coaching! How are you going to do ALL that without the coaching?!?

So many of you have a persona that you are presenting to the world that is not where you are. (I get it. I did it too.) It’s where you WANT to be. It causes problems.

It’s so common that there is actually a named syndrome for this in psychology – The Imposter Syndrome.

You are afraid that somebody will look at you closely and realize that you’re not all that you appear to be.
 So you keep holding up this cardboard cut-out of where you think you should be. Where your family says you should be. Where are your other friends might

And without realizing it, whenever you go to begin something new, you actually make your plans from that false place. You make plans based on courage, commitment and follow-through you don’t consistently HAVE YET.

You literally adopt this “better you” and PLAN FROM this “better you” and fear discovery that you aren’t there yet.

The Alphas that do really well in coaching with me are the ones who snot nose cry and finally admit that their life is falling the hell apart if it is. Those women have massive changes. We move her from where she IS.


Until you can admit the truth of where you are, you cannot receive guidance from your Coach or your Source to CHANGE it.

If you really want to be
successful in life and anything, you have to first be able to start from where you are truly at. THAT requires telling some painful truths to yourself and sometimes to others. 

 Be sure the ‘others’ that you’re talking to are qualified to receive that type of truth from you or they may hurt you worse. Hint: You can tell me!  


My three pillars of coaching are:

Massive truth              -> Massive action   -> Massive transformation

Start from where you are AT and tell the truth. It may not be pretty right now but it WILL be pretty in the end when we get you what you really want. 

Truth is where all sustainable success begins.


  If you don’t uncover the truth that you are avoiding, it will surface in the middle of your plan and ruin things. Best to tackle it now. Ask me how to start from right where you are now.


P.P.S. Did you miss the Alpha’s Life ToolKit Training? 90 Mins of Gold and the introduction of the 5 P Tool (yes, you want it.) Watch it here. 


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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
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[Goals] What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Success] Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…AND Alpha ToolKit Class is TONITE!!

Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…

Working hard can actually be a really BAD SIGN.

Why? Because Alphas are WIRED TO STRUGGLE. It means that we lean toward it. We don’t see the easier path. We miss the well lit, slightly open door.

We are EXPECTING drama, trauma, challenges and f*ckery (Yes, I invented that word and you may use it with my permission!)

Here is what I often see when you are working TOO hard:

1) You are using the wrong TOOLS for your goal

2) You don’t have a PROCESS

3) You aren’t CLEAR on what you REALLY want

4) You aren’t VALUING yourself enough and/or

5) You are trying to “EARN” love/praise somewhere

You know my
favorite two coaching words by now- STOP IT.

Yes, that’s scary. What if your world falls apart because you decided to relax a little?!?

Find the right TOOLS and PROCESSES to get what you want more EASILY. You need a PLAN different from you already HAVE.

Where should you start?
Tonight’s Class is a great spot to begin…


Half of the Alphas that answered my survey said they wanted me to teach the Alpha’s ‘Life Success ToolKit’ 2018 – Basics You MUST Know for Love & Money.


BOOM. Done. It’s tonight at 8 pm EST. No charge, just click the photo or the link to register and you’ll be all set.

You can watch from your computer or listen – I have added visuals to the call for you because this is REALLY important to your 2018. 


*Why the place you start is often why you FAIL

*The 5 P’s that will change your life 

*My process you can use to bring in LOVE or MONEY or BOTH

You’ll see me send out reminder emails before we start – at 1hr, 15 min and as we begin. That’s
because y’all get distracted and forget!

I WILL BE COACHING LIVE, so you can ask YOUR questions!


I have the easiest, yet most powerful tool to teach you tonight! I created it, so it’s not anywhere else. And I WILL BE COACHING LIVE, so you can ask YOUR questions during the Alpha’s Life Success ToolKit Class tonite! 

Let’s BUILD something!
Worldwide access from where ever you are!
Friday 11/3 8 pm EST accomdates EST, CST and PST



I Show
 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Success] Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…AND Alpha ToolKit Class is TONITE!!Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Laughing] Happy Friday! (Your laugh enclosed)

Happy Friday – 3 Things to Make You Laugh

We can all use a good laugh. Seriously, why do you think YouTube’s cat videos are so freakin’ popular?!

Our big
ol’ Alphas brains carry heavy loads all day (and for many of you, all night!)

I’m your coach and in charge of helping you get what you want, so today – it’s laughing.

Laughing releases biochemicals that are GOOD for you. That actually HEAL YOU.

This is a famous story of a man who used laughter to cure himself of cancer.

So below I am including 3 excuses to laugh AND please send me links to yours! I want to have a go-to library of things I can look at that have nothing to do with politics, hatred, race, money or fear. We’ve got squirrels, babies & dogs for
low key, no stress fun! 

Let me know if you laugh or smile hard (that counts)!

Funny Babies
 (1:41) 34 Million Views

Squirrel Hiding Nuts in a DOG (0:40) 12 Million Views

Funny Dogs (6:00) 14.6 Million Views


Just LOOKING for these 3 was awesome! The ones that DIDN’T make the cut still have me smiling.

I’m going to do my Facebook Live this morning from Dallas – we’ll see what I can get into that makes us LAUGH!

Keep your eyes open, the Alpha’s ToolKit for 2018 Class – The Things You MUST Know for Love & Money is coming NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT November 3rd – 8 pm EST (that let’s our West Coast Alphas make it)

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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Laughing] Happy Friday! (Your laugh enclosed)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Skill] Is “Flexible” A Curse Word to You?

Is “Flexible” A Curse Word to You?

You could’ve fooled me!

Alphas don’t like flexible because we equate it with:
  • Being Out of Control
  • Being Off Course
  • Trusting Other People to ______ (anything!)
  • Not Knowing


What’s Happening/What’s Next


Ok. I can see that. But here’s the HAPPY side of flexible:
  • Lowers Stress from Rigid Expectations
  • Agile Alphas Adapt to New Opportunities Quickly (Triple AAA! I’m keeping that!)
  • Things that BEND don’t BREAK
  • Open to the Universe Being in Control

Can you see where inserting more flexibility into your life and business serve you BETTER?

Innovation and flexibility are best friends too. And, nothing impresses customers more
that a businesswoman who knows WHEN to be flexible and when to hold the damn line.

Incidentally, our
 Soft Alphas little sisters are often TOO FLEXIBLE. Too flexible = Afraid of losing approval/love.

I want you to put some flexibility in your life – try these:

The next time something goes “wrong” gamify it
 (yes, that’s a real word). Assume that a higher power, who knows just a touch more than you, did whatever THAT was in order to HELP YOU. Then determine your next course with the idea that you are being HELPED rather than THWARTED.

Offer someone you love a CHOICE where you would normally just TELL them what to do.
 Alphas LOVE to direct! Give someone you care about an option on something: dinner, a trip, sex, a purchase…something. Note: If you never do this, they may react with surprise or suspicion. Ignore it!

Ask for what you want and be “flexible” about what arrives.
These little exercises will feel funny, that’s good. That’s you flexing your underused “flexibility” muscles! The amazing things that come into over lives are usually UNPLANNED and require flexibility. So practice now!

I’m down in Dallas with my Dad and Stepmom. They just moved and I am the one woman, the design on a dime decorating crew! Having a blast getting dirty, shopping, hammering and upcycling! I flew with a full comforter set for the guest room, my hot glue gun & antique burlap!

I will be FLEXIBLE this week so that my trip feels good 🙂 Flexible with family = Love!


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Skill] Is “Flexible” A Curse Word to You?Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Success] Do Your Know Your FAVORITE Self-Sabotage??

Do You Know Your FAVORITE Self-Sabotage?

We ALL do it. The very first step in my new Sabotage too! – S.O.S is SPOTTING.

You have to be able to SPOT how you are getting in your own way before You can DO anything about it.

How do you get in your own way? How do you keep  yourself from showing up? What promises do you ALWAYS seem to break? (Especially those you MAKE to you!)

There is a LOT of power by knowing the most common ways that YOU BLOCK YOU.

Here’s My Old Top 3 Ways I Kept Myself From Success & Happiness:

1. Used all of my OWN time and energy trying to rescue/fix/protect/help OTHERS

2. Always too busy to look at the truth/big picture (which would’ve told me I wasn’t getting anywhere!)
3. Over committed – said YES to everything and EVERYONE even when it should’ve been a HELL NO 

You can see the “thread” of mine was being so BUSY that I made fear based, non self-loving decisions.

I used my busy-ness to HIDE from this Calling! I “protected” myself from doing the hard, inside work needed to show up in front of strangers and offer to lead them and have people say NO.

Find YOUR favorites! Hit reply and tell me what they are 

If you can’t put your finger on it and need me to help you, ASK.




The comments I am getting on the Stop Sabotaging Your Success from all over the globe have made me cry! Clear, practical and direct. Need that? Watch it here.


P.P.S. Just this week I noticed that I’d been in PUSH mode for more than 3 months! It’s time to REST now, before I planned. Continuing to push longer would turn into the SABOTAGE of exhaustion. See



I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Success] Do Your Know Your FAVORITE Self-Sabotage??Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Powerful] The Power of Resting

The Power of Resting

I don’t think anyone’s really ever gone into the POWER of resting!

For Alphas, resting is very low on our list. We usually don’t get around to it. We SAY we want it and we KNOW that it’s important, theoretically, but we NEVER prioritize it.

You don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to know that even in THEIR very rigorous training, they plan in rest time.

If you don’t rest you crash and burn.

Yes, some of you are resting, but I bet you’re in my old pattern of resting. That pattern says you rest when you’re on the brink of exhaustion or illness or when OTHER people’s schedules permit it. (Right?)

I want you to book in some rest time BEFORE you’re exhausted. I want you to rest BEFORE you need to rest and are being “forced” to rest. This kind of resting grows your self-love. THIS kind of resting shows you how valuable you believe you are.

If something is very valuable to you, you don’t wait until it breaks down, you perform preventative maintenance.

This weekend I want you to go find some preventative maintenance and rest.

You cannot be powerful unless you learn to rest by choice, not by necessity.  

Get Off Your Own Brakes! Class SUNDAY

Come listen & ask YOUR questions at Get Off Your OWN Brakes! How to STOP Sabotaging Your Success teleclass THIS Sunday, October 15 3 PM EST.

Dial-in Information:  

US: +1 408 638 0968  or +1 646 876 9923        

Canada: +1 647 558 0588 

Get International Local Dial In Numbers Here   (No Alphas left out!)

Meeting ID:   284 491 668


Join By Computer Here!

I’ve learned a way to run that is easier on my knees that alternating running and walking and it is NOT slow! It is called the Jeff Galloway method. I highly recommend his trainings and you can find him here free!  I ran a Half Marathon using his method without injury 🙂



P.P.S. Congratulations to Alpha Nicole who just completed a FREAKIN’ Marathon!

She is a study in overcoming “obstacles” like past relationships and a very serious, little-known illness called Porphyria. I love you.

Thank you for dedicating mile 22 to your Coach! (And no, she was NOT a runner!)

Nicole – GO REST!



I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Powerful] The Power of Resting Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Abundance] Winning Class Selected + Abundance Lesson

Are You “Bartering” Your Way Through Life? 

This is an exciting email! All good stuff…

Below learn which class WON and a great lesson from this. I teach from everyday life!

Don’t forget, my emails will come from [email protected] starting NEXT WEEK 🙂


If you’re newer to me you may not know that I don’t teach Either/Or – I teach Alphas to be Both/And people.
 (You can read about that here.)

Either/Or means you go through life and see something you want and say ”Wow, I can either have this thing I want or that other thing I need.” You are used to thinking you cannot have all that you really want.

There is this constant ‘bartering’ that’s going on that is completely at odds with the nature of our abundant universe.

Here’s the trick, if you don’t THINK you can have both things (this AND that) your mind will NEITHER LOOK FOR, accept nor received any solutions that can accomplish BOTH things!

You have to start from a place of WANTING both to see how to GET both.

Which Class Won?


Get Off Your OWN Brakes! How to STOP Sabotaging Your Success 40.9%                      vs.

The Alpha’s Life Success Tool Kit – Basics You MUST Know for Love & Money


So…I’m going to teach BOTH classes.

I just love teaching. It was so exciting to see that tie still existed – that means that you really need BOTH. And I choose to give it to you.

Thank you for Voting!

Come listen & ask YOUR questions at Get Off Your OWN Brakes! How to STOP Sabotaging Your Success teleclass THIS coming Sunday, October 15 3 PM EST. I’ll send reminders 🙂

Dial-in Information: 

US: +1 408 638 0968  or +1 646 876 9923        

Canada: +1 647 558 0588 

Get International Local Dial In Numbers Here   (No Alphas left out!)

Meeting ID:   284 491 668


In November, keep your eyes peeled, I will teach Alpha’s Life Tool Kit Class to set you up for  2018.
 It may be my early Christmas present to you!

Ask yourself where you are automatically assuming you can only have one thing or the other?? And Stop It! My two favorite coaching words. 

Prayers Please!

And finally – I would like your prayers, blessings and good wishes on my book, The Alpha’s Guide to Life. It is at this moment at the Frankfurt International Book Fair being presented to foreign publishers! I’m an Alpha that knows how to ask for help!


I just had an Alpha choose to go from being self-employed to getting a job after many, many years. She wanted security AND happiness but EITHER/OR’d it down to just Security. She immediately found a “secure” job offering her spot she didn’t want.

She needed to ask for BOTH Security AND Happy Atmosphere. Once she did that inner work, new job option popped right up! BOTH AND Ladies!



I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.




[Abundance] Winning Class Selected + Abundance LessonFacebook Twitter LinkedIn