Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

We are on week 2 of “Ex Energy”. Your relationship to Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations will tell us a LOT about how your life is going.

A life that is consciously created doesn’t have lots of EMERGENCIES. Guess what Ex Energy attracts?? Emergencies! By the bucketful. And if you keep having emergencies (yours or someone else’s) you are drowning in Ex Energy.

Review last week’s coaching post – How Do EXCEPTIONS Ruin Your Life?

Excuses Reduce Reliability

(last week typo correction- Exceptions Bend Boundaries)

What You Are Doing: Your (insert name of someone you care about) didn’t do (insert thing they promised to do that you need) and the “WhatHadHappenedWas” Fairy has come to town! Or it’s YOU telling the “story.”

Harm It Causes: Loss of Trust.

You aren’t trusted to get big things done. You don’t trust yourself and lack of trust is rarely limited to one area- it spreads like weeds. Or you feel like an idiot for trusting this person just “one” more time.

What It Attracts Energetically: Unreliable People.

People who will say they support you but then don’t. Things that “fall through” as the last minute. Lies from others and self-deception for you. The untrustworthy also attract Rescuers for balance.

What You Get When You Stop: Trust.

Trust is a requirement for being given power and greater control. This is true externally in a business and internally in your own emotional world. Trust is a requisite for love of self and being able to BE loved by others.

Which are you? The excuse maker or excuse taker or God help you, both?

Alphas are often hard on themselves, so you don’t often make excuses to OTHERS. You make excuses to YOURSELF. Stop it. The energetic effect is the same if not worse! It says you are worth less than everyone else. 

Here is your Excuse Exercise (that has a nice ring to it!):

1) Make a list of the top 5 people that you “accept” excuses from.

2) Note next to their name the area of life you accept these excuses in – Health, Wealth, Love or Self-Expression.  (Note this for your own excuses too!)

3) Now, note how YOU show up for these top 5 no-show people on a scale of 1-10 where 6 is meh, 7 is good, 8 is great, 9 is extraordinary and 10 is epic.

Conclusion Time:

If you’ve done this work you know notice that you are giving way to much to people who are not giving you the same respect & reliability. Giving where you don’t ever get on the same level creates TRUST issues for you.

***Please be EXTRA alarmed if your treatment is better for the highest no-shows and more average for the tame ones. The worse they are, the better you are is a BIG No-No!

You’ve also determined what area that you devalue the most. This is the area that you need the most love and should intentionally work to improve your trust in.

Hint: Mine used to be Love, now that’s better, but the area where I still take & make the most excuses is Wealth. Discovering and owning this truth is like a $5,000 moment I’m giving you. Take it and do something about it.

EXcuses are ruining your life. Giving or accepting.

In Joy,

P.S. You may really have to LOOK. Once I started writing this series, I uncovered areas of Ex energy I hadn’t even noticed! I am in a moratorium on receiving Ex energy for the rest of the month! Join me! Just say no to your Exs!! 

We are starting our “Ex Energy” 4 part series today 🙂

It’s time for us to have a discussion that no one else is having – we’re gonna talk about you and Ex Energy. And to clear this up from the start, I am not talking about you and your ex-husband!

I am talking about your relationship with Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations. Because all these exes are ruining your life.

To have an Alpha Life – where you find happiness, feel loved and make money with less struggle – you have to start changing your ways around your Ex Energy.

Will work through this this month one “Ex” at a time learning –

• What you were doing
• The harm it causes
• What it attracts energetically, and finally
• What you get when you stop.

Let’s start with Exceptions! 

Exceptions Reduce Reliability

What You Are Doing: Someone comes to you, they knew the deadline and now they’re asking you to make an exception and you do it (or it’s you doing the asking!).

Harm It Causes: Loss of Respect.

You don’t respect your limits and you don’t respect other people’s limits.

What It Attracts Energetically: Pushy People.

People who push past your boundaries. People who don’t respect your feelings. People who think the rules don’t apply. Jobs and colleagues who ask way too much of you.

What You Get When You Stop: Respect.

Respect from others and respect for yourself in the form of self-worth.

No matter how far back you go in time – you find that eventually people had to erect some type of visible boundary to keep other people from encroaching on their “land” and taking their stuff. Without a clear boundary, many people feel almost invited to help themselves when they are in need.

Alpha, it is loving to have boundaries for other people. It is loving to have boundaries for yourself. Where those boundaries need to be depends on where the greatest areas of transgression or encroachment are in your life.

If you’re not very good at moderating your alcohol intake and drink till you wobble with an open bar and designated driver – you might want to consider a boundary there. Be wary of your tendency to make exceptions for yourself and others because enough exceptions eviscerate the rule.

Spiritually, when you are continually letting people through a gap in your fence the Universe will come help you. It will help you, by sending more cows!

The more cattle that come through that opening, the more trampled your fence gets and eventually you don’t HAVE a fence anymore. Hint.

Source is trying to get you to notice that you need to repair your fences!

Get yourself out of this Ex Energy and spend the rest of this week noticing where you make and ask for exceptions and then… Stop it!

In Joy,

P.S. Are there good Exceptions? Trick question. A good exception is one that isn’t permitted so often that there is a worn path to that spot. A good exception is based on LOVE and not fear. And it is NOT loving to enable those we care about because we are afraid they can’t toe a line that they SHOULD. Capish?

Hop on FB and watch this discussion live this Friday at 11am EST – FB – Tanya Stewart, Esq.

We are on week 2 of “Ex Energy”. Your relationship to Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations will tell us a LOT about how your life is going.

A life that is consciously created doesn’t have lots of EMERGENCIES. Guess what Ex Energy attracts?? Emergencies! By the bucketful. And if you keep having emergencies (yours or someone else’s) you are drowning in Ex Energy.

Review last week’s coaching post – How Do EXCEPTIONS Ruin Your Life?

Excuses Reduce Reliability

(last week typo correction- Exceptions Bend Boundaries)

What You Are Doing: Your (insert name of someone you care about) didn’t do (insert thing they promised to do that you need) and the “WhatHadHappenedWas” Fairy has come to town! Or it’s YOU telling the “story.”

Harm It Causes: Loss of Trust.

You aren’t trusted to get big things done. You don’t trust yourself and lack of trust is rarely limited to one area- it spreads like weeds. Or you feel like an idiot for trusting this person just “one” more time.

What It Attracts Energetically: Unreliable People.

People who will say they support you but then don’t. Things that “fall through” as the last minute. Lies from others and self-deception for you. The untrustworthy also attract Rescuers for balance.

What You Get When You Stop: Trust.

Trust is a requirement for being given power and greater control. This is true externally in a business and internally in your own emotional world. Trust is a requisite for love of self and being able to BE loved by others.

Which are you? The excuse maker or excuse taker or God help you, both?

Alphas are often hard on themselves, so you don’t often make excuses to OTHERS. You make excuses to YOURSELF. Stop it. The energetic effect is the same if not worse! It says you are worth less than everyone else. 

Here is your Excuse Exercise (that has a nice ring to it!):

1) Make a list of the top 5 people that you “accept” excuses from.

2) Note next to their name the area of life you accept these excuses in – Health, Wealth, Love or Self-Expression.  (Note this for your own excuses too!)

3) Now, note how YOU show up for these top 5 no-show people on a scale of 1-10 where 6 is meh, 7 is good, 8 is great, 9 is extraordinary and 10 is epic.

Conclusion Time:

If you’ve done this work you know notice that you are giving way to much to people who are not giving you the same respect & reliability. Giving where you don’t ever get on the same level creates TRUST issues for you.

***Please be EXTRA alarmed if your treatment is better for the highest no-shows and more average for the tame ones. The worse they are, the better you are is a BIG No-No!

You’ve also determined what area that you devalue the most. This is the area that you need the most love and should intentionally work to improve your trust in.

Hint: Mine used to be Love, now that’s better, but the area where I still take & make the most excuses is Wealth. Discovering and owning this truth is like a $5,000 moment I’m giving you. Take it and do something about it.

EXcuses are ruining your life. Giving or accepting.

In Joy,

P.S. You may really have to LOOK. Once I started writing this series, I uncovered areas of Ex energy I hadn’t even noticed! I am in a moratorium on receiving Ex energy for the rest of the month! Join me! Just say no to your Exs!! 

We are starting our “Ex Energy” 4 part series today 🙂

It’s time for us to have a discussion that no one else is having – we’re gonna talk about you and Ex Energy. And to clear this up from the start, I am not talking about you and your ex-husband!

I am talking about your relationship with Exceptions, Excuses, Extensions and Explanations. Because all these exes are ruining your life.

To have an Alpha Life – where you find happiness, feel loved and make money with less struggle – you have to start changing your ways around your Ex Energy.

Will work through this this month one “Ex” at a time learning –

• What you were doing
• The harm it causes
• What it attracts energetically, and finally
• What you get when you stop.

Let’s start with Exceptions! 

Exceptions Reduce Reliability

What You Are Doing: Someone comes to you, they knew the deadline and now they’re asking you to make an exception and you do it (or it’s you doing the asking!).

Harm It Causes: Loss of Respect.

You don’t respect your limits and you don’t respect other people’s limits.

What It Attracts Energetically: Pushy People.

People who push past your boundaries. People who don’t respect your feelings. People who think the rules don’t apply. Jobs and colleagues who ask way too much of you.

What You Get When You Stop: Respect.

Respect from others and respect for yourself in the form of self-worth.

No matter how far back you go in time – you find that eventually people had to erect some type of visible boundary to keep other people from encroaching on their “land” and taking their stuff. Without a clear boundary, many people feel almost invited to help themselves when they are in need.

Alpha, it is loving to have boundaries for other people. It is loving to have boundaries for yourself. Where those boundaries need to be depends on where the greatest areas of transgression or encroachment are in your life.

If you’re not very good at moderating your alcohol intake and drink till you wobble with an open bar and designated driver – you might want to consider a boundary there. Be wary of your tendency to make exceptions for yourself and others because enough exceptions eviscerate the rule.

Spiritually, when you are continually letting people through a gap in your fence the Universe will come help you. It will help you, by sending more cows!

The more cattle that come through that opening, the more trampled your fence gets and eventually you don’t HAVE a fence anymore. Hint.

Source is trying to get you to notice that you need to repair your fences!

Get yourself out of this Ex Energy and spend the rest of this week noticing where you make and ask for exceptions and then… Stop it!

In Joy,

P.S. Are there good Exceptions? Trick question. A good exception is one that isn’t permitted so often that there is a worn path to that spot. A good exception is based on LOVE and not fear. And it is NOT loving to enable those we care about because we are afraid they can’t toe a line that they SHOULD. Capish?

Hop on FB and watch this discussion live this Friday at 11am EST – FB – Tanya Stewart, Esq.

We are wrapping up High Achievers and the four R’s of how they operate. 

High Achievers all have a good Relationship with the 4 R’s.

Responsibility, Risk, Resistance and…

The final R is REWARDS.

A High Achiever Accepts, Celebrates & Remembers Her Rewards.

If you want to be a sustainable High Achiever, you develop the abilities to 1) Accept your Rewards, 2) Celebrate your Rewards and 3) Remember your Rewards.

What is Your Relationship with Your Rewards?

#1 Learn to Accept ALL the Rewards Given To You

Let’s talk about accepting rewards. So many Alphas deflect the rewards that come to them. They think they’re doing this out of humility, but this false sense of modesty is actually a bad omen for continued future success.

When you refuse your rewards, you are shutting down someone else’s giving. When you shut down someone else’s giving – you also block their ability to receive. Giving and receiving are a closed loop.

Now, can you can see why deflecting an offered reward hurts the other person (or organization) and demonstrates your own blocks about receiving?

When you cannot receive praise, compliments and kudos

you will also struggle to receive love, trust and grace.

#2 Learn to Celebrate Your Rewards

(3 good resources for you on links below)

So few people actually know how to celebrate an accomplishment. They reach their goal and brush off praise to rush right back to work. When you do this, you do not refuel. When you do not refuel, you burn out.

This is a bad pattern you need to break. 

Celebrating is one way to ask for more MORE good things.  Do you want more love, fun and money? Ok. Celebrate what you are already being given!

Find a way to celebrate! I teach we need to be celebrating your beginningsand not just your ends. That takes away your all excuses. They have a closing ceremony at the Olympics for a reason!

If you push yourself to your limits and then “get there”, your body and mind need to know their efforts were recognized. If you dive right into climbing the next mountain, you are literally building up internal resentment that will show up as self-sabotage.

Learn to Remember Your Moments In the Sun

You’ve accomplished some amazing things in your life already. If you do not remember those moments where you were celebrated and accomplished a goal, it’s much easier to lose faith in yourself in the future.

High Achievers are constantly realigning themselves with the best version of themselves that they can be. When you stay in touch with your past successes, it is easier to achieve even bigger accomplishments because your brain and subconscious recognize you already have a template for it.

So yes, it IS easier for a successful person to STAY successful, than for a struggling person to BECOME successful, because the latter folks lack the remembered & proven track record.

It is NOT vanity to accept an award, to celebrate a success and to remember a victory. It is a necessity if you want to have MORE of the same. You get what you focus on. So focus on your good stuff! 

In Joy,

P.S. Speaking of celebrating! Team Fearless’s assistant is named Alexis and she lives in the Philippines. She was off work this morning to go with her husband to daughter Ellie’s Honor Ceremony. 🙂

Alexis is an Alpha and so is her little one, who melts my heart! Here she is in her Viking Hat, with her Medal for being smart. (And yes, she got McDonalds!)

Congrats sweetie! Auntie Tanya loves you and is soo proud!

Hello my Overachieving Beauties! Let’s get back under the hood on breaking you free to REALLY get what you want shall we?

High Achievers all have a good Relationship with the 4 R’s.

The third R for this week is RESISTANCE.

A High Achiever anticipates & plans for their OWN resistance.

Yep. That resistance will come from outer AND inner, but inner is the killer.

Missed R #1 or R #2 – Catch up!

What is Your Relationship with Resistance? 

The fact that we just spent a month on resistance tells you how important it is. We looked at how resistance TELLS us things we need to know.

Here’s a different perspective – how do you FEEL about your own resistance to things? Do you know what you do? Do you know how you, sabotage you?You want to know how to stay in your discomfort and move forward through it.

You may know generally that you start strong and finish weak – but the question is HOW? What is your most common tripping point? Maybe you always get pulled into a family squabble. Perhaps money and bills and finances flare up. Or you neglect yourself and your health distracts you.

You want to LEARN how you get in your own way and throw dirt on your own path and then…PLAN A WAY OUT.

A high achiever knows that they cannot go near their child’s school during a deadline, because they will allow themselves to be “volunteered” into something!  They make an intentional plan to steer clear of the school.

Do I PLAN to Handle My OWN Resistance?

The funny thing is that the “resistance” you thought I was talking about was other people. By Universal Law, you only see outside of you what you are being INSIDE of you.  You don’t need to worry about external resistancenearly as much as your head wants to.

Other people cannot sink your dreams from the OUTSIDE.

Most of your planning focuses on ‘what if he…’ and ‘what is she…’ and ‘I hope they don’t….’.  If you had yourself on your OWN side just 60% of the time your life would look vastly different!

Give yourself permission to spend your energy getting out of your own way and you’ll be surprised at how many other people move too. You are not going to let your bad habits stop you. You can ignore resistance if you planned for it.

Many monks have taught for centuries: Master Yourself, Master the Enemy.

That’s what you want. This week look at and spot the 1 or 2 most common ways you fail yourself and plan something to break that failure cycle.

You won’t run and you won’t buckle because you, my lovely, will have a plan!

Need help? I’d love to. 

In Joy,

P.S. I am in a builder girl mood! I’m designing a new piece of furniture for me to build in my living room (media tower) AND I talked to a welder today about learning to weld! What new things are you doing? Hit reply and let me know…

P.P.S. Some Alphas will tell me that they don’t want to focus on how they trip up or plan a way around a known weakness because they are afraid it will ATTRACT it. Nope. Why? Because you are telling and honoring the truth of your PRESENT state, while getting into motion to reach a higher state. Ignoring it lies to yourself about where you really are so you can never move forward.

High Achievers all have a good Relationship with the 4 R’s. The first R from last week was Responsibility.

The second R for this week is RISK.

A High Achiever Seeks Risk and Can Fail Publicly.

What? SEEK Risk? Yep.

What is Your Relationship with Failure?

Does it sound like an odd question? Good. You and I and everyone has a relationship with failure. The trick is you aren’t WORKING on that puppy.

Be fair. When a relationship is important to you, you know it needs time, attention and regular maintenance.  Since you didn’t know before now that you had this relationship, I bet it’s been neglected.

Why do you want to look at and it and care for your relationship with failure? Simple. Failure. Is. Unavoidable.

If you are doing anything new, brave, noteworthy, the other sides of those coins include things not working out, blowing up spectacularly and visible failure.  If you want one side, you have to know the other side is there and make peace with it. 

High-wire artists are not revered so much for their balance, as they are for balancing when they can always FALL.

When you make peace with the chance to fail while focusing on succeeding, you cement your place as a high achiever. 

It is common for Alphas to be MOST sensitive to public failure because we soo want the approval and praise of those around us. If you do not tackle and reduce that need, rest assured it will guide you away from the amazing chances you could take, if you weren’t afraid to fail and have people know it.

The relationship you want with failure is feedback. It is information on how you did something or the timing you had.  When you can fail in public and not internalize that story to lower your self worth, you free yourself up to attempt things you dreamed of as a child.

Do I ALLOW Risk or SEEK Risk?

I bet you allow some risk in your life. Good. However, if you want to be great, we need you to SEEK RISK.

Just like Responsibility, you can avoid it, allow it or seek it out. High achievement requires you to look for it. No, that doesn’t mean you give up a secure investment for a tech startup in a war torn country. Seeking risk means you understand the correlation between risk and gain. You seek risk by seeking BIG gains.

Seek the 10X improvement, the big gain and when you find that opportunity or idea, flip the coin and look its bigger risks right in the eye and say – I’m not moving. I’ll figure you out. 

Eiffel Tower. Golden Gate Bridge. Transcontinental Railroads. Someone went for it. And it was hard. Scary. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” –Nelson Mandela

I don’t know what is IN you, but to bring it out, you will need to look for massive growth. Huge gains. And in that process tackle big risks. I find Alphas are gifted at seeking the opportunities and what holds you back is you haven’t gotten to a higher tolerance of risk. 

Betting on yourself is a risk. Take it. If you keep finding you can’t. Hit reply and tell me about it. It’s what I do…

In Joy,

P.S. I have been doing risky things all YEAR! Expanding my business focus and my structures (I have one I am going to adjustagain). 

That can look crazy or flaky. It’s a risk. I’ll take it. Why? Big gains baby. Those gains are called following my heart and intentionally only doing what brings me joy! That’s all that’s allowed. I want that 10X other side of the coin! Don’t you? Tell me about the last big risk you took. How did it go??

P.P.S. My Interview Goes Live Today in The Worthy Woman Interview Series…Get in here. Deanna, the host, just told me she re-watched us last night b/c she enjoyed it soo much! I love her.

It was International Women’s Day yesterday and I want to help you stop doubting yourself! 

We are surrounded with people who will question, challenge and even attack your voice, your feelings and your dreams. 

“Your voice is not worthy of being understood.”

“Your feelings are not worthy of acknowledgment.”

“Your inner signals & sense of what is right for you is not worthy of validation.”

“Your requests are not worthy of respect.”

“Your boundaries are not worthy of honoring.”

It started with our FAMILIES usually.

All those messages make you question your WORTH. Doubt and hesitation  mingle your heart and mind. It weakens you.

It forms a pattern of unworthiness that you must overcome to have a happy life and set your children up to succeed. 

Stop trying to do this alone. Get supported. 

You are LOVED!

You are CARED for!

You are IMPORTANT!

You are WORTHY!

Feeling unworthy triggers the need for everything to be ‘perfect’ and perfectionism paralyzes.

Come get a big cup of love from me and Deanna Danski, host of The Worthy Woman Series. She is a life coach for Successful Women aka Recovering Perfectionists (Alphas!) who want a greater sense of purpose & self-worth.  

She’s hosting The Worthy Woman Interview Series and I’m so happy to be in it. 

Tune in for my interview: The 3 Myths All Overachieving Women Believe that SABOTAGE Your Success: Why Work-Life Balance, Goals & Hard Work Are BS. 

Get In The Worthy Woman Here

You’ll Get:

• Short, inspiring interviews from successful experts in their field
• Authentic conversations (screw a script!)
  
• Gifts (of course!) to help you optimize your life
  
• Connection with high-achievers breaking the patterns of perfectionism
  
• Value your worth regardless of your achievements
  
• START ENJOYING YOUR LIFE!
  

Click on the link below to hop into The Worthy Woman event today! This is needed, so share this with your family and friends too!

I’ve declared March’s focus as High Achievers Month.  These are the Alphas that want MORE in every area of your life and are willing to do what’s necessary to get it.

GET ACCESS HERE!

See you at the SUMMIT! 🙂​​​​​​​

In Joy,

P.S. You can get off the path of perfectionism and into worthiness. Hop in HERE so you don’t miss me OR someone else amazing! It is LIVE right now.   

I’ve declared March’s focus as High Achievers Month.  These are the Alphas that want MORE in every area of your life and are willing to do what’s necessary to get it.

High Achievers all have a good Relationship with the 4 R’s.

The first R for this week is RESPONSIBILITY.

A High Achiever owns outcomes and takes blame.

Let’s take look behind those skills…​​​​​​​

What is Your Relationship with Your Outcomes?

Do you own the outcome, regardless of whether it’s good or bad? Can you take responsibility for things that don’t work, EVEN THOUGH YOU DID YOUR PART?

That’s a tricky one. Many Alphas can stand still and take the heat when YOU screwed up. But how are you at doing that when someone around you or under you screws up?

High achievement says I am responsible for generating the outcome and the rain, your secretary’s flu and the economy do not justify not delivering. When you hold YOURSELF to this standard, you will find others more amenable to you holding THEM to this standard. It’s you first though!

When you know that there are no excuses, you awaken your creativity in resolving challenges. This is why need (necessity) is the mother of invention. 

You can accept blame, if it comes, not because it feels good (it doesn’t) but because it MOTIVATES you to find a way to make sure you are never in that position again. 

You can accept blame because when your staff sees your head on the block for their error, the valuable person who made a mistake will also be motivated to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Responsibility builds: 

Self-Trust, Trust and Respect of others, a feeling of security in your people and motivation to avoid personal failure. The Responsible are confident and given control which is precedent of the POWER of choice.

Do I SEEK Responsibility?

If you want to achieve anything of significance you must be able to answer this question with a resounding YES. 

Look back, did you SEEK it or merely accept it if it was offered or required? There is a difference.  You can excel by accepting it, but to really blow the roof off things, you need to be in the energy that says “How can I serve MORE than I am right now?”

We are paid in relationship to our levels of responsibility. This is why housecleaning will never pay as well as performing life threatening surgery. That brings us to our 2nd R, which is next week! Stay tuned. 

If you need what I teach, let me know. Don’t miss out on Alpha Group coaching, starting soon. If you really knew how much MORE is possible for you, you would take Responsibility and make it happen now. 

In Joy,

P.S. I’m back from Texas where I had a great time with my dad and stepmom! We all went to the gym, cooked and I organized their garage, built shelves, built an IKEA bed for the guest room (that is a SERIOUS act of love) and decorated it. 

Bought the bed & mattress during my visit 4 months ago and I took RESPONSIBILITY for building it vs. trying to get others to do it. So I flew back to Texas & got it done.

P.P.S. Keep your eyes open on Friday, I’ll invite you to The Worthy Woman Interview Series I’m in! Just like it sounds. Check it out. 

We are wrapping up February’s focus on Resistance and how it TEACHES you things you want to know.

This month we learned how Resistance Tells You:

You Picked the WRONG THING!

You Are Going The WRONG WAY!

You Aren’t Committed!

Our final coaching today is how resistance tells you that you have a BAD PATTERN that needs shifting. 

Not Getting What You Want? Bet a BAD PATTERN Is Blocking You

Everybody has them. Call it a bad habit or bad pattern – either way you have a bundle of thoughts and beliefs that you’ve cemented into your lifefrom past experience.

Not all patterns are bad, but you WANT to spot the ones that are blocking you, because they do it ALL the time!

Think of Resistance as FRICTION. It’s that spot that rubs. It’s where your new dress shoes are just gonna give you a blister.

If you look at the ways you get stuck on big things over the past 10 years, you’ll spot a pattern. And yep, it’ll be a bad pattern.

Instead of being frustrated, ask yourself what is the “friction” that is common? Look for the familiar signs of resistance: Starting late. Overeating. Negative self-talk. Rescuing others (instead of you!). Over-analyzing.

Commit (yep, we Answered “Am I Really Committed?” last week!) to finding the ONE BIGGEST point of friction that pops up all the time as your bad pattern.

And…solve it. Fix it. Soften it. Bribe yourself. Do what needs to be done to prevent that from rearing its head on your next big thing.

The reason that bad patterns are one of your biggest enemies is that once something gets to the HABIT level, you stop noticing it anymore.  Do you notice where you drop your purse when you walk in the door? NO. Because that is where it always goes.

Just taking the time to look for the bad patterns and making any sustained effort to head it off will help you.

Now. To change a habit takes time. No one agrees how MUCH time by they way. Folk wisdom was 21 days, lots of folks with degrees say 66 to 70 days.  End result? You cannot just do this once and succeed.

That is the value of coach or group to support you by the way. You often need something “else” to keep you focused and grinding through that change period. (Get Alpha Group Coaching Brochure pdf here.)   

You are not broken, you are not unworthy, you are LAZY. You have a bad pattern that needs breaking. You can do that. Hit reply if you want help.

P.S. I’m in Frisco (Dallas) Texas! Visiting my Dad and StepMom 🙂

Our video on Breaking Bad Patterns is going to be awesome and on the road.

P.P.S. Last Week’s Commitment & Resistance Video – Are You Committed?