Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

[Self-Care] Why You Need To Make Time To Be Alone…(Especially now)


 

Why You Need to Make Time to Be Alone…


When was the last time you were alone?

(Clarification: Alone, awake and not rushing to go DO something else?)

We all know that when you love someone, you make space in your life to spend quality time with them. Sooo…when was the last time YOU spent quality time with YOU?

It gets even harder at the holidays. There is a kind of push,
rush, and obligation in the air all too often.

Being by yourself is both a SKILL and a Necessity.

Alphas overgive. But Never to ourselves!

When you are alone, with no agenda to rush off to, you are spending quality time with yourself.  You may not remember how to do that. But I will tell you WHY to do it:

MAKE TIME ALONE FOR YOURSELF, INTENTIONALLY BECA– USE:
  1. It proves to you that you DO think you are important and worthwhile
  2. It demonstrates self-care and self-love to your children (especially your daughter!)
  3. It lowers your stress level which protects you from illness
  4. It will feel indulgent and yeah – that is the point!
  5. What you give to YOU, others give to YOU

#5 is spiritual law. If you are frustrated and hurt that people aren’t making time for you, ask yourself if YOU are making time for you?

You can NEVER receive from others what you
will not FIRST GIVE TO YOURSELF.

Here’s the good news – it doesn’t have to be a whole day. 
Literally, 15-20 mins will help you IF you make it intentional. If you decide that 2:40-3pm is your time and close your door and just sit with you, that works.

You don’t have to “do something”
. You can just sit. You can pray, meditate, let your mind drift or ask yourself a question you’ve been stuck on and give that solution ALL THAT SPACE to arrive.

If you WANT to do something, make sure it is something just for YOU. No work ‘work’ allowed. Cat videos on YouTube, a
chapter from a romance novel (I have a good reference, just ask!), cleaning out your car.

There’s a little dashboard inside of you and it NOTICES how much you give your children, your mate, your business, your family and your Facebook. And it knows how much you are giving you. When those get too far out of whack and stay off balance long enough, often you get sick.

Sickness FORCES you to give to YOU.

This Holiday season, I challenge you to create 30-45 mins alone
, intentionally, before whatever counts as your “big day.” Give yourself a luxury that doesn’t come out of a box: demonstrated love. 

Hit reply
 and let me know what you will do you in your alone time!


P.S.
I am at a place where I can tell my friends and family that I decline an invite to be alone. I didn’t use to be able to do that! I felt like I needed a “better” reason. Now, my happiness IS a good reason!


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[Self-Care] Why You Need To Make Time To Be Alone…(Especially now)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Alpha’s DIY Bundle] Change Your Life for Less than a Movie & Popcorn… (Black Friday Sale!)


BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE!!! (Did you save your $17??)

Our coolest sale of the year is here, and now you can get yourself moving in the right direction with me GUIDING YOU! 

Get the Alpha’s DIY Bundle for you Black Friday Gift to YOU!
(Way better than fuzzy socks or more body mists you WON’T FINISH…)

58 Second Video Below Says What You Get – Hit PLAY

Alpha’s Guide To Life Book – I’ll Guide YOU


VALUED AT $30.00


An Advance PHYSICAL Copy of the Alpha’s Guide to Life! Postage Included in US & Canada.

 

 


Alpha Woman Success Academy Interviews

 


VALUED AT $70.00


The TOP 7 interviews with Alpha Woman Success Academy to download and keep!


Body Image – Forgiveness – Getting Unstuck – Overcoming Fear – Natural Health – Weight Loss Explained – Write a Book in a Weekend

 

 


Gift Certificate for Your $17 BACK = $0

$17.00 – You Get Your $17 Back, So If You Keep Learning, This is F.R.E.E!


Gift Certificate for use for FUTURE Classes and Coaching

from me at Fearless Focus Coaching!


ALL OF IT FOR $17.00
! (Less than a Movie & Popcorn)


How does get her Alpha’s DIY Do It Yourself Bundle?


Step 1: 
Go to
 FearlessFocusCoaching.com/BlackFriday2017


Step 2: 
Click on “I WANT THIS BLACK FRIDAY DEAL!!!”


Step 3: Check out with Paypal
 


Step 4: 
And wait! Within 24 hours you’ll get an email with links to download your 7 Interviews. The Alpha’s
Guidebook and the gift certificate will each be mailed to you separately!


Step 5: 
Enjoy beginning to build your better you instead of wondering or waiting anymore! 


I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving weekend or 


“Happy watch the US shoppers fight over stuff in public” if you are abroad!


***I’ll only send out one reminder on Sunday because I am on holiday and you shouldn’t need a reminder because you should go grab this right NOW. And yes, the price goes UP after 72 hours!



P.S. You have to start SOMEWHERE, SOMETIME. Now. Now is good. Now is $17. Get the Alpha’s Guide to Life, get the 7 Top Academy Interviews and get a gift certificate for your $17 back! = $0.

If you need me to help you MORE than making your New Start for 2018 a total gift, you are in the wrong place!

P.P.S.
 
Yes, clients, you can have it too. (I’m clearly a soft touch for my Alphas.)


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[Alpha’s DIY Bundle] Change Your Life for Less than a Movie & Popcorn… (Black Friday Sale!)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Gratitude] Easy Gratitude Practice to Take You Into the New Year…


Easy Gratitude Practice to Take You Into the New Year…

I’m sure everyone has already told you to be grateful for all of your “external” things. This is INTERNAL GRATITUDE. I want you to be grateful for the amazing INNER BITS of you that don’t get a lot of airtime.

Eldon Taylor of Inner Talk gave me this practice and I LOVE IT!

When you first wake up – say “Thank You”.
 I say it out loud no matter how my voice sounds.

Then…. Smile.
 Just smile for a bit. The action of physically smiling triggers your brain to release “happy chemicals”.

That’s it. It takes less than 30 seconds.

You should do this
every daystart tomorrow on Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.

Eldon, the
world-famous subliminal learning expert, describes this and other amazing goodies in his Alpha Women Success Academy Interview. You can own that interview + 6 others + something AWESOME for Alphas you WANT.

You just need to hold onto $17 on FRIDAY. 
(In the US, that’s one movie ticket plus popcorn). 

And YES, I may be the ONLY one actually releasing a Black Friday sale ON Black Friday. Call me Old Fashioned!! So make sure you dig through the rubble in your inbox to find me.

(If you pay attention, you’ll see that I figured out how to make your Black Friday Goodies F.R.E.E!)
 


P.S. 
I’m making my traditional 10lb Crock Pot Turkey, Cinnamon Honeyed Sweet Potatoes, Corn Casserole, Salad and will let my guest decide the dessert – either Pumpkin Muffins or my famous Monster Cookies!!

Let me know what YOU are making?

P.P.S.
  I cook that meal even if I am alone but I have a cross-country guest to feed this year! One of my besties from UGA Law School, Jon Brown 😊 He once wrote a little jingle to cheer me on in a law school, oral argument competition! “Goooo Tanya go. Go, go, Goooooo Tanya go!” It’s silly and I’ll love it till my last breath. I’m grateful for him.

 


I Show
 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 


[Gratitude] Easy Gratitude Practice to Take You Into the New Year…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Confidence] 1 Thing You DON’T Know About Fear…(but you should)


1 Thing You DON’T Know About FEAR…(but you should)


You can’t reduce FEAR.
I’m sorry. Most of us think that you can “turn the knob” down on a fear, much like you’d lower the volume on the car radio.


We think there are things we can do, or say, or places we can “be” that will turn down the fear. Lessen it. It cannot be done directly.


There is no way to PUSH down a fear. When you push against it, energetically it RESISTS you and grows stronger. You can only pull in love.


This is an attraction based universe, which means you can’t really push anything away. The one activity you CAN do is to pull things.


If something is on a pulley, you pull down and it goes up – that’s a good image for this.

 

 

 


When you pull down on the pulley of fear, what really happens is love is coming up!


Practical Application:
When something is not working, focus on what can make it better instead of what can stop it from getting worse.


Example:
An Alpha fighting with her husband in a shaky marriage. He just said something horrible to you. Again.


If you really want to save this marriage, which of these is the correct focus:


A)   What could make this situation better right now? What can make me feel better right now?                                vs.


B)    What do I need to DO to keep him from saying that dumb $#@! to me again?


A
is the winner. It pulls in love
with you and is about you.


Example:
Your child is scared of the boogie man in the dark. You cannot reason away this fear, i.e., you cannot reduce the fear, turn down the knob or push their fear away. 


What do you do? As a mom you know the answer, you pull in love. You love them up to increase their feeling of security and protection.


You
are that little child when things get really bad. When things hit the fan, find a way to pull in some love. 


The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. They are like light and dark, matter and antimatter and cannot occupy the same space. If fear is present, you cannot push it out unless you bring some love in.


Need another example?
Guilt and forgiveness. Guilt is a form of fear and forgiveness is a form of love. If you want to lessen guilt, you need to increase the forgiveness. Have you ever just been able to stop feeling guilty??


This lesson applies year-round, for your entire life, but it’s especially important for the holidays. You’ll see fear masquerading as guilt, stress, excess, withdrawal, frustration and blaming.


Do not attack the fear (or your mother-in-law) and attempt to “solve it” Alpha.
Turn UP the love in the situation. Sometimes you can do that directly WITH the person that’s the issue or sometimes just making the environment better will help. 


As we approach our respective holidays (my trifecta is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve) just remember that pulling in love is more reliable than trying to fix the crazy family.
 


P.S.
Why am I talking about serious stuff and not giving you my Guilt-Free Dark Chocolate Avocado Cookie recipe? 1 – no one ASKED for my recipe! And 2 – Like I said in Wednesday’s post the holidays are not ALL love and light.

I struggled through them for years and every freaking article I read about how ‘Richard Simmons happy’ I should be, made me feel WORSE! So, the support is here. I love you!

 

P.P.S. Got $17? Save it! I am not immune to Black Friday. We WILL have a cool Black Friday Deal. And, unlike the rest of the damn Universe, it will come out ON Black Friday 😊 You’ll have 72 hours to grab it up before it goes.

 


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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
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[Confidence] 1 Thing You DON’T Know About Fear…(but you should)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Holidays] Deck with Halls with Anxiety & Blues! (One Cure Inside)

 
Deck the Halls with Anxiety & Blues!! (One Cure Inside)

Yep. Holidays. As a divorce 
lawyer, I used to marvel at how many people pretend to LIKE the holidays and won’t admit it stresses them out.


Let’s
 take quick inventory – Count how many of these you associate the Holidays with:

  1. Having to see people you don’t like but can’t leave
  2. Having to clean your house when you don’t have time
  3. Having to cook. A LOT. A WHOLE LOT.
  4. Having to spend money you may not have on gifts, parties and frippery
  5. Having to see your scale inch up
  6. Having to act happy when you may not be
  7. Having to feel guilty at your “first world” problems
  8. Having to go through another __________ this year
  9. Having to travel, buy everything, wrap everything, bring everything and serve everyone
  10. Having to endure the over-commercialization of the holidays

Alphas HATE not having CHOICE and all 10 of those things appear to take away our CHOICE.

Scoring:

0- 
Means you read this in the toilet, in between phone calls or can’t count.

1-3
 Common! Don’t beat yourself up.

4-5
 Did you need me to tell you this is not good?

6+
 You need a Holiday intervention because you feel trapped in too many ways and have so many associations that hurt, that it’s hard for you to enjoy the moments that DO work.

I have personally gone from an 8 (did NOT like the holidays back then, in my Superwoman days) to a 1. (#10. Just because you stick red glitter on “it” does NOT mean I’m going to buy it.)

Here is ONE CURE

Decide what ONE thing that you WANT to have 
happened this holiday that would light you up and…PROTECT IT.

Do not permit yourself to LOSE that one thing. Tell your husband and children what it is and ask them for THEIR ONE THING. Everyone agrees to protect each person’s ONE THING. (Where you can, the more your ONE THING doesn’t require others the better!)

You would 
be shocked at how being able to rely upon, 100%, on a single piece of coming joy can change things for you.

So, if you freakin’ NEED Christmas Eve church service 
or the kids to sleep in
till at least 7 am or to NOT do the damn dishes after the family gathering – then make that the ONE THING and protect it.

Ask for what you need Alpha (the ONE THING).

If the ONE THING you really need is me in your life, kicking your butt with love and making the crooked places straight –
 ASK FOR IT.  (Don’t assume you can’t afford it!)

2018 can be different. Can be easier with family, safer with money, healthier with your body and more connected to your Source. ASK.

Get your ONE THING and protect it. The rest? Let it go.


 


P.S.
 Don’t fall into the Holiday extremes! You don’t have to be a Ba Humbug complainer who feels beat up the WHOLE TIME but be careful you aren’t PollyAnna-ing your way through the season either!

If you tell your truth you can enjoy when you ARE happy and own when things are harder and ask for help. Don’t pretend the whole season is “perfect”. Just get your ONE THING.

P.P.S.
I think all Alphas need a life-sized Alpha Coach for 2018! Hit reply & tell me the #1 thing you’d get help with next year if you had me…

 


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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
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[Holidays] Deck the Halls with Anxiety & Blues!! (One Cure Inside)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Sabotage] NEVER Start at the Beginning

NEVER Start at the Beginning…
 

Seriously. Why not? Because starting at the beginning is about
 PERFECTIONISM. 

I get it. You want to: 
  • Start where you feel you are supposed to
  • Start where everyone expects you to and
  • Start where it’s easiest.

Starting Where You feel You Are Supposed To and Where Others EXPECT You too are the SAME.

This is you looking for approval. Approval is a fancy word for love. Alphas fear losing love, so we make sure we turn in a good performance because an “A” grade means we are good enough and lovable. 

This is also you looking for “insurance”. If I do it “right”, it has to work. Tell me how to do it “RIGHT,” you say. Tell me exactly where I should BEGIN.

Here’s the funny part. We have been trained that beginning at the “beginning” is easiest.

IT IS NOT.

 

 



It’s actually HARDER because of all the mental gymnastics you have to do to try to IDENTIFY the beginning and convince yourself it’s the right starting spot. All that costs time, money and energy. And it opens the door to doubt, delay and distraction.

Where should you begin? I recommend the middle. Meaning, just begin.

As soon as you begin, you will easily see how to course correct yourself back to the best place to start.

Example?

Let’s say you want to become a motivational speaker. Where in the world do you begin?
 See how daunting than this? If you start in the middle, you might just grab a course and start trying to book a speech. During that process, you might discover that you are a wiz at outlining your talk and even delivering it but are absolutely AWFUL trying to “sell” yourself on the phone to get booked.

That gives you clear information on a “new”, more useful starting place.

If you just begin, the Universe can course correct you faster and far easier than while you are still in your head, trying to get all of your ducks in a row.

I’ve talked about this before as perfect timing.

Do not attempt to begin at the beginning.

Ever talk to a girlfriend who is sobbing with a broken heart? Do you MAKE her start at the beginning?
 NO. You let her start the story wherever she CAN and you still get the whole story! Give yourself the same grace and kindness.


Start with the reality of where you are and begin WHEREVER you can, just begin.

 


P.S.
  Soon I’ll be talking to you about Joining Alpha Group Coaching Class of 2018 that starts in February. I’ll tell you to start from where you are and just figure out how to get yourself IN. Just figure out how to BEGIN SOMEWHERE. Starting messy is what champions do. Starting perfect is what poor people do.

 

P.P.S. Whatever popped into your head while you were reading – THAT is what you must begin. Do it now. Do something towards it TODAY 🙂

 


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 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 


 

[Sabotage] NEVER Start at the beginning.Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Goals] What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?

What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?


What MUST you do if you want to ensure your goal has 100% chance of succeeding?


(And YES! This is a trick question.)


Answer:
 Start from wherever you actually ARE, at this moment.


You would be surprised at how often everybody wants to start their project, dream, goal, improvement or whatever from the place they are NOT currently at. 


People will decide they’re going to “start changing their lifestyle” once they lose the first few pounds.


People tell me they’re going to start coaching with me as soon as their marriage situation calms down, the kids are stable at school and they’ve saved up some money.


That is the same stuff I help you DO inside of coaching! How are you going to do ALL that without the coaching?!?


So many of you have a persona that you are presenting to the world that is not where you are. (I get it. I did it too.) It’s where you WANT to be. It causes problems.


It’s so common that there is actually a named syndrome for this in psychology – The Imposter Syndrome.


You are afraid that somebody will look at you closely and realize that you’re not all that you appear to be.
 So you keep holding up this cardboard cut-out of where you think you should be. Where your family says you should be. Where are your other friends might
be.


And without realizing it, whenever you go to begin something new, you actually make your plans from that false place. You make plans based on courage, commitment and follow-through you don’t consistently HAVE YET.


You literally adopt this “better you” and PLAN FROM this “better you” and fear discovery that you aren’t there yet.


The Alphas that do really well in coaching with me are the ones who snot nose cry and finally admit that their life is falling the hell apart if it is. Those women have massive changes. We move her from where she IS.

 



Until you can admit the truth of where you are, you cannot receive guidance from your Coach or your Source to CHANGE it.


If you really want to be
successful in life and anything, you have to first be able to start from where you are truly at. THAT requires telling some painful truths to yourself and sometimes to others. 


Note:
 Be sure the ‘others’ that you’re talking to are qualified to receive that type of truth from you or they may hurt you worse. Hint: You can tell me!  

 


My three pillars of coaching are:


Massive truth              -> Massive action   -> Massive transformation


Start from where you are AT and tell the truth. It may not be pretty right now but it WILL be pretty in the end when we get you what you really want. 


Truth is where all sustainable success begins.

 


P.S.
  If you don’t uncover the truth that you are avoiding, it will surface in the middle of your plan and ruin things. Best to tackle it now. Ask me how to start from right where you are now.

 

P.P.S. Did you miss the Alpha’s Life ToolKit Training? 90 Mins of Gold and the introduction of the 5 P Tool (yes, you want it.) Watch it here. 

 


I Show
 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 


 

[Goals] What’s A Non-Negotiable Requirement for 100% Success?Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Success] Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…AND Alpha ToolKit Class is TONITE!!

Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…


Working hard can actually be a really BAD SIGN.


Why? Because Alphas are WIRED TO STRUGGLE. It means that we lean toward it. We don’t see the easier path. We miss the well lit, slightly open door.


We are EXPECTING drama, trauma, challenges and f*ckery (Yes, I invented that word and you may use it with my permission!)


Here is what I often see when you are working TOO hard:


1) You are using the wrong TOOLS for your goal


2) You don’t have a PROCESS


3) You aren’t CLEAR on what you REALLY want


4) You aren’t VALUING yourself enough and/or


5) You are trying to “EARN” love/praise somewhere


You know my
favorite two coaching words by now- STOP IT.


Yes, that’s scary. What if your world falls apart because you decided to relax a little?!?


Solution
:
Find the right TOOLS and PROCESSES to get what you want more EASILY. You need a PLAN different from you already HAVE.


Where should you start?
Tonight’s Class is a great spot to begin…

 


Half of the Alphas that answered my survey said they wanted me to teach the Alpha’s ‘Life Success ToolKit’ 2018 – Basics You MUST Know for Love & Money.

 


BOOM. Done. It’s tonight at 8 pm EST. No charge, just click the photo or the link to register and you’ll be all set.


You can watch from your computer or listen – I have added visuals to the call for you because this is REALLY important to your 2018. 


Learn:


*Why the place you start is often why you FAIL


*The 5 P’s that will change your life 


*My process you can use to bring in LOVE or MONEY or BOTH


You’ll see me send out reminder emails before we start – at 1hr, 15 min and as we begin. That’s
because y’all get distracted and forget!


I WILL BE COACHING LIVE, so you can ask YOUR questions!

 


P.S. 
I have the easiest, yet most powerful tool to teach you tonight! I created it, so it’s not anywhere else. And I WILL BE COACHING LIVE, so you can ask YOUR questions during the Alpha’s Life Success ToolKit Class tonite! 

Let’s BUILD something!
Worldwide access from where ever you are!
Friday 11/3 8 pm EST accomdates EST, CST and PST

 

 


I Show
 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 


 

[Success] Why Working TOO Hard Blocks the Dreams You Are Building…AND Alpha ToolKit Class is TONITE!!Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #19 Tanya Wants You to Have the Right TOOLS


 

You’ve Got Voicemail…


You wanted the Alpha’s ‘Life Success ToolKit’ – come and GET IT! 


THIS Friday night – 8pm EST – Dial In/Computer Audio 🙂


*** Live Q & A ***

​​​​​​​
What are YOU trying to build for next year?


Play Voicemail #19
 
(03:35)


Tanya wants you to pick the right tools for your goals – it makes the Impossible…easier.

 

 

 


P.S.
 
Had a fantastic Halloween! It was cold but my wig kept me warm! (Yep, how often is THAT said?!) I was a Warrior (shocker)!
Excited to teach to you LIVE Friday night – don’t miss it! 

P.P.S.
 
The Dial In Info will be sent out Friday and I’ll remind you of the Class before we begin 🙂 If you aren’t coming, forgive the reminders.

 


 

 

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 

 

 

[Audio] Voicemail #19 Tanya Wants You to Have the Right TOOLSFacebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Laughing] Happy Friday! (Your laugh enclosed)

Happy Friday – 3 Things to Make You Laugh

We can all use a good laugh. Seriously, why do you think YouTube’s cat videos are so freakin’ popular?!

Our big
ol’ Alphas brains carry heavy loads all day (and for many of you, all night!)

I’m your coach and in charge of helping you get what you want, so today – it’s laughing.

Laughing releases biochemicals that are GOOD for you. That actually HEAL YOU.

This is a famous story of a man who used laughter to cure himself of cancer.

So below I am including 3 excuses to laugh AND please send me links to yours! I want to have a go-to library of things I can look at that have nothing to do with politics, hatred, race, money or fear. We’ve got squirrels, babies & dogs for
low key, no stress fun! 


Let me know if you laugh or smile hard (that counts)!


Funny Babies
 
 (1:41) 34 Million Views


Squirrel Hiding Nuts in a DOG (0:40) 12 Million Views


Funny Dogs (6:00) 14.6 Million Views

 

Just LOOKING for these 3 was awesome! The ones that DIDN’T make the cut still have me smiling.


P.S. 
I’m going to do my Facebook Live this morning from Dallas – we’ll see what I can get into that makes us LAUGH!

Keep your eyes open, the Alpha’s ToolKit for 2018 Class – The Things You MUST Know for Love & Money is coming NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT November 3rd – 8 pm EST (that let’s our West Coast Alphas make it)


I Show
 Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your 
Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 


 

[Laughing] Happy Friday! (Your laugh enclosed)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn