[Audio] Voicemail #20 Plan How to Supply Your Needs


You’ve Got Voicemail…

Play Voicemail #20

Plan in advance how to supply your needs, not just during the holidays, but whenever you KNOW you are about to enter a very stressful situation alone.





P.S.  I’ve said it before, you are your own rescue. Do NOT leave yourself hanging.




I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #20 Plan How to Supply Your Needs Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #19 Tanya Wants You to Have the Right TOOLS


You’ve Got Voicemail…

You wanted the Alpha’s ‘Life Success ToolKit’ – come and GET IT! 

THIS Friday night – 8pm EST – Dial In/Computer Audio 🙂

*** Live Q & A ***

What are YOU trying to build for next year?

Play Voicemail #19

Tanya wants you to pick the right tools for your goals – it makes the Impossible…easier.




Had a fantastic Halloween! It was cold but my wig kept me warm! (Yep, how often is THAT said?!) I was a Warrior (shocker)!
Excited to teach to you LIVE Friday night – don’t miss it! 

The Dial In Info will be sent out Friday and I’ll remind you of the Class before we begin 🙂 If you aren’t coming, forgive the reminders.




I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #19 Tanya Wants You to Have the Right TOOLSFacebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Focus Mag] Why To Give, How To Receive & The Missing Link “Asking”


Our FOCUS: Why Do I Give, How to Receive & the Missing Link “Asking”

Alphas are terrible at asking.

I don’t even have to prove that sentence. You know it’s true. You. Don’t. Ask. For. Help!

In life, it is a self fulfilling prophecy. The more that you DON’T ASK for help, the more you don’t GET help. We then use that observation to rationalize continuing not asking for help.

Today you’ll learn the cycle of giving, receiving and asking how that helps you get what you really want? Let’s do this!

      Author Unknown

“Asking for help is a sign of STRENGTH not weakness.”



Today’s TRAINING: Giving, Receiving & Asking


We have grown up in environments that have shown us that if you want something done right… See? I don’t even have to finish that thought. When you want something done right, you go do it yourself! Whether you have time to or not.

I get it. We’ve had the same experiences. When I was still brave enough or silly enough (which ever one you think fits right now) to ask people to help me when I was younger, I was constantly disappointed. So, I learned. Alphas are lone wolves.

What is interesting, is how well our general refusal to ask mirrors our incredible resistance to receiving. Alphas are very poor receivers!

Yep, you’re beginning to see that connection aren’t you? Even if you don’t ask for help, if somebody offers help TO you, you say, “It’s OK, I’ve got it.”

And now time for Tanya’s two favorite coaching words.
 Stop it!

Your ability to receive, be it compliments, assistance, money, time or instruction, tell you a great deal about your level of self-love.

When you love yourself, you can easily receive FROM other people. The more problems you have with self-love, the more difficult it is receiving from other people.

In the absence of loving yourself, you don’t trust yourself. When you don’t trust yourself, you cannot trust other people. So, you don’t trust them trying to GIVE to you.

See how it’s all so connected? But the advantage IS the interconnection. When you fix any one area, all the other ones begin to improve and your entire life gets better quickly!

If You Need Something In Life You Need To Find A Way To GIVE It

You receive back what you have given and not necessarily from the place or the person that you GAVE it to. So, if you are stressed about not having enough money, it really is true that it would help you to find a way to give some money.

If you’re stressed about not having enough time, you actually need to find a way to give away some time.

We’re going to take the time to explain tithing. Because I didn’t used to think it was a valid concept. I really thought that 1 billion years ago a religious institution figured out is a really good way to make sure that they had a constant flow of income!

My life changed when I found my own understanding of giving. Tithing is about giving away something that you find valuable and that you want more of in your life. The percentage you give is not magical, it works with 10% and with 1%.

Once you actually realize that the amount you’re giving DOES connect to the amount you’re receiving, you quickly start WANTING to give more. All the wealthy people I know are GENEROUS!

So let’s say you have $4,000 a month of income to live from. Giving away 10% of that amount may be hard if you’re on a really tight budget. Yet in general, having 90% of your income leaves most of us still good.

Tithing (or giving) incorrectly is when you give the 10% only because you want something back or think you “have to” or you focus on and obsess aboutthe 10%.

When you do giving correctly, you give away a portion in celebration of how much you HAVE.
 Basically, you are focusing on the 90% you keeprather than the 10% or 2% that you are giving away.

What you focus on expands. If you focus on the 90% you keep, THAT portion expands. If you focus on whatever percentage you are “losing” or “removing”, the losing or removing expands. Huge for me when I figured this out!

My most valuable currency is my time. (I would value argue that is true for everyone else too.) So my primary giving vehicle is my time.

All of This Explains Why the Entire Cycle of Receiving BEGINS With Giving

What you give, you already HAVE and you ARE. The law is you get what you are and not what you want. What you give, you have extra of. By the Law of Attraction, giving IS the beginning of the cycle for getting.

Here’s a tricky bit. For the giving to “work”, it must be giving from the heart without fear and without seeking direct compensation.
 I am perfectly aware that all of my giving will compensate me.

I do not have to pretend that is not the case, in fact I love that that is the case! What I’m not doing, is I’m not looking for the person that I’m handing something to, to turn around and hand me something else back!

And the giving must be without a fear-based motive.
 This is one that trips up a lot of Alphas.

Lots of
 Alphas over give, which is giving in order to maintain or obtain control.
 When you are an over-giver, you attract victim like people, who you believe will stay with you and love you because of your giving.

Just think of any of those stereo typical grandmothers, were you come to their house and they overfeed you. And they do EVERYTHING for you but chew!. And they work their hands to the bone.  It’s actually a control thing and you feel guilty not grateful.

That is their way of bartering and buying and securing love.  They were taught that IS love, so I do not fault that.  However, it is in fact giving out of the fear that if I DO NOT smother you and wow you and care for and fix everything for you, you won’t love me the same.

When you give from your heart, that is the giving that begins the cycle that ends in you receiving what you want!
 That means you’re giving without the requirement of direct compensation, not giving to control or to engineer what flows from your giving.

Asking Plays the Magical Role In All Of This!

Asking gives the green light for people to give to you. It creates a container and expectation that you will receive, which activates the Law of Expectation. The Bible is very clear about this. It used command language. It is Ask and you SHALL receive. Very important.

How often you’re asking for help should not be so wildly disproportionate to how often YOU are doing the giving. That is a recent realization on my part.

If they ARE crazily out of balance (and I know they are, mine were too) you have found a very easy place to unlock and attract abundance into your life.

When you shut down other people’s efforts to give to you, you block the cycle of receiving. What you are doing to them, is then done to you. Asking and giving are the twin yoked horses that drive getting.

Make time to really do the Practical Tip below today!

Tanya Recommends:

I am so excited to share
 The Luxury Love Rejuvenation Retreat on October 4-8th, 2017, hosted by my wonderful new friend, Camille Sheppard-Parrish, who is the author of Successful Women Date Differently and the Founder of Get Mr. Right University and Instructor in the Academy!

I know this is going to be an awesome, energy lifting live event you want to go to if this is up for you!

She will help you stop settling for mediocrity in your relationships and attract your Mr. Right for 2018. Then what’s holding you back from getting the love you deserve?

The authentic life and love you really want is waiting for you to open up and try something different…Stop waiting. Don’t keep shutting out the love you desire!

Oh, and she put it at a freakin’ sexy resort – Virginia Beach, Oceanfront Hilton Hotel

If you want in, because you came through me, you can BOGO (bring a friend ) for 50% off! 

She is great coach and why am I sharing this with you? She is smart enough to have ASKED! Asking, GETS. If it calls to you, check it out!


Take a look and be honest in your assessment:
How often do I ask for help? Do I wait until there is a crazy crisis to ask? Do I only ask out of anger?

Do I give without expectation of direct compensation from the person or place I gave to? Do I give to engineer or control?

Am I specifically not giving in the areas that I most want to receive?



Asking, giving and receiving are all pieces of a circle, like a wheel. If you cut out any piece, it’s not whole anymore. Not round. If you overinflate one area, it (your life) won’t “roll” smoothly.

There was a phase where we are all about getting. Then we uplevel and we focus on giving. The last phase is one of balance, where we are getting, giving and ASKING out of love and confident expectation of being generally provided for.
Where are you in the cycle?


Wow Did You Hear?


Viewer of the Alpha Women Success Academy
“Thanks Tanya! Loving your Summit, your upbeat energy, and spot-on questions! So useful and uplifting!”

Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!

If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for

YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


[Focus Mag] Why To Give, How To Receive & The Missing Link “Asking”Facebook Twitter LinkedIn


Talk to Tanya


My Mission:

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop


in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

[Focus Mag] Knowing & Believing- Why You Don’t ACT On What You KNOW



There is a HUGE difference between believing and knowing.

I do find many teachers use the words interchangeably. Now my teaching is no longer Knowing vs. Believing, but “What part of you is doing the KNOWING?” 

Today is a deep teaching, and not for the faint of heart (pun totally intended). If you don’t get this, no worries. If you WANT to and need help, just email me. This is jet fuel for your life.

Let’s do some good work 🙂


      Author Unknown

I can only tell you the truth, I can’t make you believe it.



Today’s TRAINING: Why You Don’t Act On What You Know

Knowing vs. Believing

There is a difference between believing and knowing.

Many teachers use the words in different ways, often with knowing being superior to believing. I use it the other way around. Here’s my teaching.

Knowing of the Head:

This is your mind’s knowledge and the ego is involved. Think, you “know math” or “know how to cook.”

Knowing of the Heart = Believing:
 (can also be called wisdom, inspiration, intuition or faith)

The Heart is connected to Source and is your link to your higher self. Think, you “believe children are innocent” or “believe sunsets are beautiful.”

The “Battle” Is For The Free Agent, The Subconscious.

The subconscious is the home of EXECUTION, where all of your programming lives. It carries out it’s Commander’s orders without question. It follows patterns and runs things on a continuous loop. It does not KNOW anything or BELIEVE anything, so it can EXECUTE anything, good or bad, fearlessly. Think, perfect soldier.

There is only knowing. Either the mind knows or the heart knows, but the EFFECT of those knowings are vastly different!

When the heart knows, the effect is Believing and it leads to receiving.

When the mind knows, the effect is controlling or questioning, doubting and seeking evidence. These all lead to taking and controlling but NOT receiving.

When your subconscious is aligned with what your heart knows, you act in full faith and without crippling fear.
 You act out of love and are perceived as inspired.

When your subconscious is taking it’s directions from your mind, it requires evidence and proof continually so it starts, stops, doubts, wonders, starts again, stops again.


Hearts Cannot Lie (But Your Subconscious Kinda Can!)

I have a friendly debate with a friend of mine about the heart, subconscious and the mind. He says that the heart can lie. I think it’s a wording issue. Today, I am finally able to bring through what MY heart knows of this matter.

The heart is connected to Source energy and therefore cannot lie. The heart knows what it knows – the question is can you allow what your heart knows? When you are allowing what your heart knows, you are believing.

Lots of ancient texts will use the word “heart” for the word “subconscious”, watch out for that. For example, the biblical quote that ‘out of your heart, comes the issues of your life.’  That is saying, out of your programming come your life’s events. Clearer now.

The subconscious accepts all programming.
 If it is slaved to the mind, then it will accept, allow and execute programming that is consistent with fear. This subconscious would be the servant of the ego, which leads it to replicate, support and ignore lies and fear the truth (exposure).  

“I Know It With My Head, But Don’t Believe It Yet…”

Very common issue I hear when I’m coaching Alphas is: I know something with my head, but I just can’t get it into my heart. I know it but I don’t believe it yet. 

Here is the truth even though it’s a little harder to understand. That statement is not accurate. Why?

You are not trying to get knowledge down from your mind into your heart.
 The heart is connected to Source energy, all that is. It actually already HAS all the knowledge that you’re seeking.

You are actually trying to get heart knowledge UP from your heart, into your head! The head acts like a fairly aggressive sentry, blocking access to the subconscious so it can maintain it’s dictatorship.  IF the head agrees, it just unlocks the door and passes the programming on down. Bam, it gets executed.

If the head disagrees, it makes it very, very hard for you to rewrite the program
 it has the subconscious running.

We have all been trying to do this the wrong way! (Me included. I discovered this less than 2 years ago!)

What If Your HEART Hel
d All The Answers?

Play with this idea – imagine that your heart actually has access to whatever answer it is you’re seeking.

 that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to convince your heart of anything! You would actually be attempting to allow in what the heart already knows, instead of trying to convince the heart of something that YOU know. Instead of PUSHING, you’d be PULLING.

Haven’t you always read those annoying clichés about, everything you need is already inside of you??

Well fudge, that was true. 

Think for a moment, there are times in your life where you have just known things that you just couldn’t KNOW. That was a moment when you tapped into your heart’s knowledge. Basically, your heart has DSL to infinite wisdom and your mind has dial up with a 1200 baud modem. 

Believing Is About RECEIVING From Your Heart

Believing is about relaxing into the idea that you don’t have to fight to get the answer. It’s about trusting that if your heart knows something is so, you don’t actually need to see evidence of it to safely agree with it.

I love Dr. Wayne Dyer. And he taught so clearly in his book, “You’ll See It When You Believe It.”  Again, this great teacher noticed that we had it backwards!

It is your mind that says, I’ll believe it when (after) I see it. But the laws of creation and energy and dominion, say, you’ll see it once (after) you have first believed it. By your faith it is done unto you.

I am telling you today that the believing that you are to be doing is the allowing/receiving of the information that your heart already has access to

When I go to write these trainings for you, in the beginning I thought of myself as creating them. That was harder. I now understand that I more accurately transcribe them, because I receive them from my heart. Waaayyy easier.

Alphas struggle with control issues because we really want to “KNOW” how to do it, when to do it and why to do it. That desire for control makes accessing your heart’s knowledge difficult because you need to be in a RECEIVING mode to “get” from your heart. It gives, you receive.

It’s like Alphas go to the pump to get water, but we don’t bring a bucket! We come to the pump and we stare at it and simply demand and command water but we aren’t prepared to receive it! 

Can you “open your heart” to receive your heart’s knowing without the world’s evidence?

All that which we are now seeing, came from nothing which is seen. 

Deep? Yes. Important? Immensely. 

When you know with your heart – you are believing.
 That believing requires no evidence, because it’s source is Infinite wisdom. That believing is the basis of faith. 

(There simply is nothing better than the moment where I stop resisting being up late and let myself sink into a place of gratitude to be receiving what I’msupposed to teach. When I drop control, I can receive and “allow” in a discovery to share.)

Tanya Recommends:

This one is easy. Back up your computer. It’s kind of like birth control in an odd way. The very best kind, you don’t have to stop and think about or remember. If you have to remember, you COULD forget and the results can be SERIOUS.
Not getting anything to share this company with you. This is who I use and I feel SAFE!
When did I get FIRST get them? Oh, about 3 weeks after my laptop and ipad were stolen in Mexico.
Let’s not have that be you. There are probably a lot of folks in the path of the hurricanes that did NOT have a laptop backup. I only had to lose a short book I’d written and family photos ONCE to learn!
Carbonite is usually $60/year and gives unlimited cloud storage for one computer. It backs up automatically, continuously. Best part? You can get your files back if lost AND if you are traveling and need something from your laptop, you can get at the files then too!
I used it to transfer EVERY piece of data (120 GB) to my brand new empty laptop!
Nuff said. If you are still reading this, secure your computer.
P.S. About 2 weeks before my stuff was stolen I kept noticing their ads and sadly thought it was a little pricey! After all, I had my files on my laptop AND ipad, so THAT was alright…HA!




The easiest way to tell what you believe is the watch what you DO. You invariably behave consistent with what you BELIEVE, not what you KNOW (with your head). Teenagers KNOW drinking and driving is dangerous but do they believe that? Clearly, they do NOT. Check yourself. Do you know X or BELIEVE X? Just telling yourself the truth about what you discover puts you on the right path.



When your heart and mind agree, I think of it as a different interpretation of the bible saying, “where two of YOU agree”. Where the two of you, heart AND mind agree, it is done because at that point there is no longer any resistance. Some folks call that alignment. 

It is not a daily experience but you can improve your life greatly by always seeking to tell yourself the truth about where your mind is on an issue and where you heart is. When they are divided, the “house cannot stand.” If you spent one month, 30 days, opening to receive your heart’s knowing on something before trying to undertake actions on it, you would find that when you acted, it was much easier.

Wow Did You Hear?


An Alpha in Alpha Group Coaching just got a non-holiday, personal bonus, 8X the size of her Christmas bonus because she is FINALLY showing up confident and sharing what she knows
She is getting paid to be MORE of who she IS.
Go Alpha!

Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!

If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for

YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


[Focus Mag] 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for SuccessFacebook Twitter LinkedIn


Talk to Tanya


My Mission:

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop


in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

[Audio] Voicemail #16 Tanya Says Start LATE…


You’ve Got Voicemail…


Start something “late”. Start it with NOT enough time to do it. You’ll turn competitive and begin what you were dreading doing!







P.S. 5 minutes to my Alpha Group call, I got this audio uploaded and post laid out. I felt like a million bucks! 

You can artificially “create wins” for yourself like this. Meeting and exceeding little challenges you give yourself is HUGE. Basically, daring yourself to do something and then showing up is an instant shot of “self-love.” 




​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #16 Tanya Says Start LATE…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #15 Tanya Wants You to Do Just a Little Bit More…


You’ve Got Voicemail…

The big gains come from controlling your mind to do just a LITTLE BIT MORE after you feel “done”.






P.S.  It was 11 pm and I was excited. I was going to bed early! It had been a long day in a long week that included unexpected car trouble today.  And even more full days lie ahead. Suddenly, intuition told me clearly that I’d NOT done my Voicemail! 

I had to do this “little bit more” after I felt done (nightgown in bed done!). It was another chance to keep my commitment to show up for you and show myself that I can override “comfort” to reach my goals.




​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #15 Tanya Wants You to Do Just a Little Bit More…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Focus Mag] 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success


Our FOCUS: Setting yourself up for success
You can use my 4 Step Formula which works for everything apparently – I’ve taught you to use it to make ANY kind of decision and figure out why you are stuck. 

1) Commitment         2) Clarity        3) Choices      4) Action

Now we’ll use it to set you up for success when you begin to do anything new. 

Success doesn’t just HAPPEN. Get ready to learn a simple plan you can begin applying today!


      Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, World Famous Motivational Speaker

You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must PLAN to win, PREPARE to win and EXPECTto win.” 



Today’s TRAINING: 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success

Here are your 4 Steps: 1) Commitment     2) Clarity        3) Choices       
4) Action

Think of whatever it is you want or need to do. More sales? New business? Weight loss? Take action on your coaching? (I like that one A LOT). Got it? Now let’s run it through the 4 steps.

Step 1: Commitment

Commitment is where an Alpha needs to pick what she’s going to do. You’re going to pick it and STICK. To actually stick, you need to know WHAT it is clearly and WHY you want to do it. (And hopefully you “want” to do it instead of “need” to do it. We find ways to avoid stuff we “need” to do…) 

The question for commitment is “WHAT am I doing and WHY?”

The surest way to torpedo any project is to begin without a clear vision as to the goal that you are attempting to create. It wastes energy starting fuzzy. 

Please note, that I did not say that you needed to know HOW you were going to create it. You don’t need the HOW, you do need to know WHAT you want to accomplish.

A really obvious and easy example is say you want to enter a relationship with your perfect Alpha mate. You may not know “how” to meet him, but you can be very clear on WHAT IT IS YOU WANT and what kind of man he is. 

I have an Alpha right now working on that goal and she has attracted a number of very high-quality suitors (a date transporting her in a private plane quality). I just sent her the notes we created on WHO her man is, to remind her to stay on track with what she said she wanted originally – what she is COMMITTED to having. We figured out the WHO (her “what”) and God has been supplying the HOW.

Next, you need to know your WHY. The WHY is almost more important than the WHAT truthfully. If a woman is looking for a man to complete her, to overlook all of the areas in her life that are full of emotional junk and chaos and “just love her anyway”… she is in TROUBLE. That WHY is it at cross purposes to the Universe’s intention that we grow and heal our wounds.

Short answer:
 Not gonna work out. (You can’t opt of growing by having a mate that just says – “Nah, you’re fine.”)

When you’re setting yourself up for success, it is critical that your why is clean and focused on your highest values. 

Lastly, Alphas are ALL IN or ALL OUT women. So, you will be safest if you are all-in with whatever you’re doing.

  Agreeing to partial commitments or to “help out a little”. (Who are you kidding?? You won’t stop at a little, so don’t agree to “a little”.)  A partial commitment is like a man saying “I love you sometimes.” See? Less than worthless. 

Step 2: Clarity

The question to set yourself up for success with Clarity is “What is likely to screw me up or slow me down?”

Truth please.

Clarity is always all about telling yourself the truth.

Here you’re going to look for and identify all the walking on eggshell situations that could occur and eliminate those. Look for these: opportunities for negative comparisons, nervousness you’ll mess up, anyone looking for continuous perfect performance or YOU THINKING you need continuous perfect performance. 

Here I am introducing a new acroynym. S.F.L. I’ll give you two of the words.
STOP  @#!%@  Lying.  SFL to yourself.

 Not spotting the hazards on the path ahead because you are
not looking, pretending to be superwoman, don’t want to deal with what you’ll see or any other reason you use to hide from any ugly truths (i.e. lie to yourself). 

If you’re going to start a business and you know you are really bad managing money -you need to face that ugly truth. You need to look it dead in the eye and correct it or delegate it or figure out some other way to cover it. Otherwise, it will stop you and slow you down. 

If you have a busy time coming in your business and you know that your children or your lover distracts you – Clarity requires you to tell the truth about how distractible you are. Most Alphas are born Rescuers. So if your mate or your children send any type of “distress call” – you will probably drop everything and rush to their aid, whether they really need you or not.

Do you remember the ancient video game called Pitfall? The adventurer goes to the jungle and he has to swing on a vine over tar and traps and crocodiles. You have to be able to figure out in advance where your tar, traps and crocodiles are!

Be especially mindful of any situation where you feel like everything you do has to be perfect. Listen carefully: you WILL screw up! If you are in any kind of a relationship (personal, family, business or otherwise) where your performance must always be  A level, you’re in deep trouble Alpha.

If you find that you were not good at spotting and telling the truth about the ways your new project can go sideways, bring in a friend or a coach like me. Other people can see into your blind spots because our ego is not hiding the information.

When you find your traps, you must do something to fix them. 
Mitigate them. Avoid, swerve, deter and otherwise solve them before you get going. The keyword in that sentence was… Before.

Step 3: Choices

The Choice question is “What can I do to make this easier for me?”

In Choices, you are looking to make choices adding things that make what you want to do easier.

All praise crutches!
Everybody should be able to lose weight on their own. Weight Watchers IS a crutch. And…Weight watchers helps people lose a crap ton of weight.  If it will help you – use it!

Make choices that afford you extra speed.
 It is easy to use a map to navigate but most people use GPS now because it freaking talks to you! It’s easier to have your map tell you you’re going to turn right, than it is to lean across the console and try to find the darn street while you’re driving. 

Hiring an assistant is a crutch. I presently have a team of five. Paying to work in a cool workspace is a crutch. I am so productive in mine. Paying extra to get the pre-boxed protein shakes from Costco that I love – crutch! 

I have like 6 pounds of protein in my pantry. (Don’t judge!) My ego will tell you all day that I should be at home with a blender mixing that powder and almond milk. Ha, I like my crutch! It saves me time.

Pay extra to buy shirts that don’t wrinkle if you hate ironing. Figure out what choices you can make to make your project easier, so you get your success.

 Giving in to the “…but I SHOULDN’T need this help…” voice or going cheap. Pay the freaking money and smile while you do. Get good at paying for help!! It gives you speed and the only currency we all have equally is TIME. How are you using yours? Me? I’ll buy speed.

Step 4 – Actions

The Actions question is “What is my first step to take right now?”

I promise that any project you’re doing, considering or in the middle of, will work better if you do these four steps.

Setting yourself up for success means you pay attention to what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, what can block you, what you need to help you and where you need to start.

 This is where most of you want to start. So it’s no wonder you get frustrated or fail to reach your goals. It’s because you didn’t do Steps One through Three first.

I also teach that Step Four is where the Universe acts. Most people don’t begin anything because they’re waiting for the Universe to take action first. You’ve heard the famous quote, you take one step and God takes two. 

Take the four steps. Do the work. Build a path to success.

Go create something amazing! (And then give me partial credit… What? I’m your coach, that’s fair!).

Tanya Recommends:

Do you have young folks headed off to college? A friend tipped me off to this scholarship site!

It’s an app the performs scholarship matching for students. Easy and fast.

I still remember getting that huge phonebook sized book on grants and scholarships and slogging through it. I’d find one I liked and then realize I was not a male golf caddy of Irish descent!

Hope this helps your young people. Let me know if you get money!





Here is the practical tip for this week. DO the 4 steps. 

On paper is best but at least block out 30 measly minutes to run through a ‘lite’ version. It could change your entire life. 

Once you see how easy and reliable the 4 steps are you don’t have to feel overwhelmed anymore. Just stop. Breathe and whip out your 4 steps. 

What am I all-in on here & Why? What is in my way? What can I do to make my commitment work easier? Knowing all that, what is the action I start with?
The trick? Do it well before you need it. This is true with children also. Tell them the process for coming to you if they feel you’ve hurt them and tell them what you’ll do if they disrespect you. It takes extra anxiety out of the already stressful event!




We are creators and the 4 steps forces you to begin with the end in mind and HOLD onto the target while you are moving. That is a recipe for Divine Help, which arrives at Step 4. 

You tell the Universe what you want to create. You invest the energy in telling the truth about what is in your way and how you can HELP YOURSELF and then you begin where you can begin. That attracts miracles. 

If you are biblical, it connects to the parable of the widow in debt who was sent valuable olive oil to fill up as many jars as she invested the time to collect. The story teaches that we can only receive as much as we PREPARE ourselves to receive. The 4 Steps prepares you to receive and shows your active investment in your desire and so attracts success to your endeavor.

Wow Did You Hear?


 A Reader Appreciates the Message

“Thank you for showing that ONE may be more important than any other number.

If something doesn’t get started with ONE,  it may never get started. 

Great article.”


Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!

If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for

YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


[Focus Mag] 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for SuccessFacebook Twitter LinkedIn


Talk to Tanya


My Mission:

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop


in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Wants You to Have MORE…


You’ve Got Voicemail…

By learning to trust myself and learning how to go ALL IN when it’s needed, I’ve expanded my capacity.
Read on Overwhelm & Capacity   &   Are You An “Either Or” Person?

Play Voicemail #14

In Voicemail #14 Tanya wants you to have MORE. You can have what you want without sacrifice.







P.S.  I am finishing the Alpha’s Guidebook, building an online training course for Alphas, creating the 3rd Global event, Alpha Women Success Academy, coaching and renovating my home. I still have bandwidth available. You, Alpha, can do anything I can do! It’s a LEARNED SKILL.





​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Wants You to Have MORE…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Focus Mag] How to Self-Diagnose Your Big Stuck Issue




I was teaching the Alphas in Group Coaching about this and just knew that this is what I am to write on and teach you.  I’m actually going to tell you how to do this and no worries, it won’t put me out of business! 

I can tell you WHAT to do but having someone help you feel safe enough to DO this…that’s the trick. 

Read on to start the journey to diagnosing your Big Problem!


      Dr. Steve Maraboli, Coach and Author – Inc, Magazine listed him as the “Most Quoted Man Alive” in 2016

The Universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts. It gives you what you demand with your actions.



Today’s TRAINING: How Can You Diagnose Your Big Stuck Issue?

(Warning: I will tell you HOW in 10 words and then spend 800 explaining why you should believe the first 10 that you didn’t like.)

 Always assume your actions tell more truth than your intentions.

Step 1: Look At Your Actions.

I’m a coach and folks come to me to fix their big stuck issues. And despite what you may believe, there are only a handful of big stuck issues: someone doesn’t love me (i.e. I don’t love me), I can’t lose weight (i.e. I don’t love me), I can’t make money (i.e. I don’t trust me) and I can’t reach/do my life purpose (i.e. I don’t trust me).

So…look at your actions. What is it that you keep doing before, during or after the thing you are worrying about? In the case of weight loss, it might be clear to see that you don’t have the requisite discipline or will power to do what you know to do. But that is not a deep enough question! Why don’t you show up for yourself? Why are your actions pretty much the exact opposite of what you know you SHOULD do?

If your life was a silent movie, would anyone KNOW what you say you believe or want?
 Would your actions show people what you SAY you believe in? Or would they paint the opposite picture? I coached an Alpha that sold health products that wouldn’t stop smoking. That didn’t work out. Her actions were speaking so loud no one could hear what she was saying…

Step 2: Decide Your Actions Are True and Your INTENTIONS Are False.

The road to hell is paved with… yep…you said it in your head! GOOD INTENTIONS. Why is that old adage still repeated? Because it is true! Most of the greatest evils are done in the name of someone with GOOD INTENTIONS.  Why? Because ego knows you’ll put up at least a little resistance to doing what you know is wrong, so we white wash it with GOOD INTENTIONS.

In my marriage, long before the divorce, I’d ask my husband how it was that he could look at me – tell me he was sorry over and over for the samebehavior and then go do the same darn thing AGAIN.

He was devastated by my not believing his INTENTION to love me. My marriage taught me that my belief on this was weird. I focus on people’s results rather than their intentions (a coaching skillset!). He wanted credit for TRYING (even though he kept failing the same task for years).

The world has gone soft. It is demanding equal credit for trying. For intending. For hoping. Stop it!

If you are a commission sales person you really get this – you do not get paid for people who INTEND to buy your product. No commissions are paid on calls you INTENDED to make.  

Alphas giving others credit for their intentions do this for one very important reason – they don’t want to be judged by the ‘results standard’ either!

Your actions are telling you what you really believe beneath what you INTEND to believe.

  • You intend to believe you want to lose weight, your actions say our weight is okay now.
  • You intend to save money, your bank account says you like spending it more than saving it.
  • You intend to have a healthy relationship, your actions say you are still needy & hoping to get what you can’t yet give – trust.
  • You intend to find & live your purpose, your actions say you don’t keep your commitments to yourself.

Step 3: Given Your Actions and Choices, What MUST You Believe?

Rubber meets road time. Given that you don’t eat well, don’t sleep well, don’t exercise well and view food as a source of love – what MUST you believe?

That losing weight isn’t necessary right now. Totally NOT URGENT because you are afraid of it.  Something about it is linked to a deep fear and you need it to not be your fault. All that subconscious junk keeps you from acting in alignment with your conscious intentions.

Step 4: 
Admit the Truth That You Really DO Believe the Awful Thing from Step 3

That truth will often be dead opposite of what you say you want. Do you see it? That’s why you’ve never been able to GET anywhere on your big stuck issue Alpha. You have been at cross purposes to yourself all along. 

The deep truth that you have continually sabotaged exactly the thing you have MOST wanted is painful. Usually you have blocked your good for DECADES. Since it WAS you blocking it, you can release it honey!

Step 5: Without Lying About What You Formerly Believed, Begin Stating the Truth

You are NOT allowed to just say “I want to lose weight” or “I want to make money” or “I’m ready now for my true Alpha Mate.” Those are the “lies” that have held you stuck. You must tell the truth which is “I’ve been in my own way but I am ready now to begin WANTING what I say I want.”

  • I never lost weight before because part of me didn’t want to.  I own that and am changing it now.
  • I could never make and keep money before because part of me was afraid to. I own that and am changing it now.
  • I couldn’t get and keep a healthy relationship before I didn’t think he existed or would want me. I own that and am changing it now.

+ And I am proud of me for facing this ugly truth that I’m SOO ready to change!

 is how you self-diagnose a big stuck Issue and get it turned in the right direction!

Your actions are telling you what you REALLY believe. Accept it and then it can be changed. Continue to pretend that it’s a fluke that you are 40 lbs overweight and soon you’ll hit 50. (No matter how overweight you are, once it was just 5 manageable pounds that got ‘good intentioned’…)

When you do the work to change your beliefs, the actions that align with the new beliefs just flow into place. Believing you SHOULD adjust your actions before adjusting your beliefs, is a common failure causing Alphas to struggle.

I told you that you wouldn’t LIKE it. But we are Alphas and we are strong enough to do what works. And this works if you can feel safe enough to tell the truth about yourself. It really does set you free.

Tanya Recommends:

Why? If in business, it makes it easy to give a presentation to 2 or 40 people and record it. Or to train someone on something ONCE and record it.

For a family, we use a conference line to have an annual Family New Year’s Day Call that usually has 8-12+ people on it.

I’ve used mine for several years. There are ton of them out there and this is the one I know and use.

I am giving you my signup link because if anyone sends them 3 folks, you get to record a free custom greeting on your call in number. I’ve meant to refer folks to them for years to earn my greeting and I’m finally doing it.

If you want one, check them out. Happy Group Calling!




Stop freaking lying to yourself! 

If you lie to yourself, you have to lie to others and by Universal law, they have to lie right back to YOU. 

You can break the entire cycle by starting with yourself, not them.


Your intuition and guidance all come through your heart’s connection to Source. You block that connection by resistance, lies and fear. Tell the truth that your mind is CHOOSING the actions you hate. You’ll release the blockage created by pretending you are somehow doing something you aren’t wanting to do. We are creators and we have the power to create wanted and unwanted. If you disavow all of your unwanted creations, you step away from yourself as a creator (with dominion!) into the victim zone.


Wow Did You Hear?


An Alpha in Group Coaching has lost 22 lbs without trying in a few months.
And this isn’t a weight loss group – it’s a side effect!
Self-Love with truth is the best diet there is!

Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!

If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for

YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


[Focus Mag] How to Self-Diagnose Your Big Stuck Issue Facebook Twitter LinkedIn


Talk to Tanya


My Mission:

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop


in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Asks You To Check In with Yourself


You’ve Got Voicemail…

Tanya asks you to check in with this year’s progress NOT with your head but with your heart first. 

How do you FEEL right now?








P.S. I’m happy. To be happy regardless of what others are choosing is one of the not so secret keys to a great life…





​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 



[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Asks You To Check In with Yourself Facebook Twitter LinkedIn