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Surprise No Cost Coaching Call on Self-Love – TONIGHT

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10 Mistakes to Avoid to Find Your Purpose

#1 You want to create a complete plan before you begin your purpose. Sorry Charlie, this will fail and in fact has to fail because people doing this (perfectionists) are doing this out of fear. Remember, nothing done with the fear motivation can be allowed to succeed long term. Make a plan do the best you can and then just start -but don’t try to dot every i and cross every T to keep yourself safe – not only will it not work, but you will attract the very thing you fear.

#2 Instead of YOU creating the plan yourself, you decide you’ll just wait for God to show you the perfect, safe path before you begin. My clients know one of my favorite quotes is “stop making God work so hard “. A lot of the skills for your purpose will come during the journey to your purpose, so stop trying to shortcut that. If you see something all laid out, visible and entirely safe, I would be very suspicious of believing that is your purpose. The Universe just tends to not work that way – in that it does not reward a lack of faith with a complete clear plan.

#3 Believing you can see your purpose from anywhere in your spiritual development. I’ve often taught there’s a spectrum to spiritual development – kindergarteners, eighth graders and on past college students. Your purpose is at a very high, pure frequency so if you’re still in “fourth grade” spiritually, you just can’t receive it, process it or understand it YET. Yes, you have one but you’re not far enough along in your education to get it. Keep moving and you’ll get there!

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Come learn why your current view of your problems ensures you cannot solve them.

Problems are not obstacles to be overcome, they are perfect directionals to your solution, more self-love.

I’ll cover: Why focusing on manifesting money directly doesn’t work (shocked?) and what to do instead…and more See the Details here.

No selling. Just giving & Testing teaching this way.

1 hour call + Q & A at the end plus you get a copy of the recording to study again.

TONIGHT 8 PM EST, 5 PM PST

(Spots are limited as I don’t want the call ginormous…)

SAVE MY SPOT TONIGHT

P.S. if you are in a foreign country and can’t make it, ask & I’ll send you the mp3.

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#7 Not getting in motion right now and trusting your purpose will arrive en route. A lot of times you meet your purpose on your way to somewhere else. So if you never go anywhere, guess what?!

Bonus point: Be careful of asking for help to reach your purpose (like money) and not using it as you promised when it arrives. The Universe won’t punish you for reneging, but you’ll punish you because you’ll feel guilty and that energy will attract other unwanted things.

Tell Your Friends About the F.r.ee Coaching TONIGHT!

(Then you don’t have to try to explain it all later!!)

[Purpose] 10 Mistakes to Avoid re Purpose + Fr.ee Coaching Tonight ONLY

P.S. Come out and get your stuck points on money, self-love and commitment cleared up tonight. I am VERY excited to teach you! No cost. I’m practicing teaching a large group LIVE. – Get Details for Call Here.

Tanya Stewart, Esq.

Life & Business Transformation Coach

Ask me YOUR Questions at FearlessFocusCoaching.com

[Self-Love] The Dark Side of Giving…

Jan

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Being a Total Giver is just as selfish as being a total Taker. Do you know one? Are you one?

Everybody knows someone who takes advantage of everybody around them. If there’s free stuff they take more than their fair share – they are always needing to be rescued and if they can help it, they try to position themselves around the most generous, giving kindest people we know. They TAKE.

It’s fairly clear to us even at the tender age of four that these people are “takers” and we don’t like them.

They are on the extreme right end of the spectrum. But what of the extreme left end of the same spectrum? What about the “Total Givers”?

A person who gives all the time is not receiving and is violating the law of balance in the Universe in exactly the same way a Taker is and that can never result in anything good.

It really truly is in giving that you receive. That requires we all give and we all receive in a constant flow. The people who give all the time and I mean all the time, to the point that they don’t have, to the point that they’re sick, to the point that they appear to be martyrs to the casual observer-aren’t receiving because they don’t know how to receive.

Total Givers actually use giving to control people around them.

This Total Giving Syndrome (may have to Trademark that) is genetically encoded in the women of my family. And as the law of attraction is perfect – I saw the behavior in many of my former friends WAY before I saw it in myself. I did not identify and break it until just about five years ago. For me, I was the RESCUER. I could fix anything or anyone and I’d give to you and ignore my own messy, empty life. The Rescuer is just one version of a Total Giver. I’ve spotted the THE NURSE (helps all the sick people in the world), THE BANK (fixes everything with money and gifts), THE ALL MOM (mothers everyone, takes in “strays” to form a ‘can’t leave’ family- men do this too).

Total givers give to ensure that people love them.

They give to defend against people leaving them. They give conditional love -conditioned upon the recipient behaving in a certain way. That is why Total Givers are actually crippled emotionally. The giving is FEAR based and no good can ever come of actions based in fear.

Have you ever tried to give to a Total Giver? They won’t let you. They are frightened of receiving love because subconsciously they know from past experience that love has conditions on it and subconsciously they feel that giving the love is the power (not actually true). They won’t sit down at a party. They will cook all night. They go way further than they have to go because they need to secure your “love.” In dating, these people become the folks we have to sneak away on because we can’t seem to walk out the door in the open without feeling guilty.

Every gift you receive through the channel of another person is the Universe providing for you. When you shut down other people attempting to give to you and do not accept their kindnesses, you are rejecting the good the Universe has for you. Refusing to receive love only happens out of fear.

What if a Total Giver let you love them? If they let themselves receive your love then they could lose it… Then it can be taken from them… They could become unworthy of it… These are the fears Total Givers combat by always giving and never receiving.

Beware: is very easy to fall into a relationship with a Total Giver because they are… well… so giving. It feels good in the beginning but then it begins to feel unbalanced. You always feel like you’re in a hole and there’s nothing you can do to get out of the hole because the Total Giver actually wants you in that hole. Do they know this? No. Not consciously. This is subconscious ego pattern they can’t see.

When a Total Giver asks for something – this is usually done indirectly or passive aggressively (Ex: You aren’t using that? Wow, that would sure be nice to have. Oh well…) You don’t feel you have right or free will to say no. After all, look at all they’ve DONE FOR YOU. If you try to say no they are outraged at the violation of the deal: that they give you everything (often composed mostly of service, help and stuff you don’t really want) so it is implied that you can refuse nothing.

So what to do if you are a Total Giver or know a Total Giver?

Sigh. That is a whole class in and of itself. Short version. If you know one, this is a tough spot because their fear of being alone and abandoned is so great that it drives them to give away themselves to secure you. They are empty and afraid inside. Increase your boundaries on what you will accept and allow so that you can feel as healthy as possible. Practice saying no to them. It’s good for you both.

Remember: You cannot change another person. When you are honest, it is hard enough just trying to change YOU!

Sometimes you can startle a Total Giver into noticing their pattern by showing them another Total Giver’s pattern – which they can easily see.

If you are the Total Giver, then actually you’re going to be OK. I was one too! I recovered. Maybe I’ll start a group! If you are still reading this right now and can own some of it, then you can move to a healthier spot in the spectrum where you can learn to receive love.

Total Givers have very low self-love and try to fill themselves up from the outside with everyone else’s thanks and praise and presence. If you want to be in a different place, find yourself a coach you resonate with who can help you with your core self-love issue. This is not commonly a do it yourself issue, as it roots are too deep. If you can spot it, you’ve already done well.

Share some of your Total Giver stories with me!

[Health] One Simple Understanding Changes Everything…Ready?

Jan

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One Simple Understanding Changes Everything…Ready?

Your poor health (external) is the most efficient “check engine light” God could rig to show you problems with your thinking and beliefs (internal).

This week I’ve coached three different people with varying health conditions. One person with a crazy ER level flu, a person with serious bedrest pregnancy & and someone with near paralysis.

My flu sufferer was a teenager and she was the most flexible and accepting hearing the source of her illness. That makes sense because she’s only had a good decade or so to build her defenses and denials up. Origin? Crazy break up with on again/off again guy who she KNOWS isn’t right for her but is having difficultly allowing that truth and truly leaving.

A Course in Miracles says sickness is merely a defense to truth. Sorry to spring this on you-but it’s correct. And yes, I hate that too sometimes. I want the source of my cold to be that kid that sneezed on me at Walmart, not ME.

Need some more help with this idea? Keep reading…

Most of you reading this can remember the way cars used to be. If the oil got low in your car, a little red light came on that said OIL or showed an oil can.

If the car was overheating there was a gauge or a light for that too. Only the incredibly foolish or overly optimistic kept driving a car for days and weeks after these lights came on expecting nothing bad to happen. Most of you probably remember hearing of somebody who blew up a car engine because it was out of oil.

So here is the radical news: Your illnesses and sicknesses are basically a check engine light on your life lit up by the Universe.

Everything begins with thought. You already know that, but do you carry it to its logical conclusion and apply it? When something is wrong with your body it is because something was first wrong within your mind and your thoughts, feelings and emotions. As within, so without.

In fact whatever was wrong – as in “not aligned with love or truth” – had been there for a goodly while before it rose to the level of strength required to trigger your “Check Engine Light”.

Maybe. You. Ignored. It.Yep, you know that’s a bad idea for a car but when it comes to your body (which is in doing more precious work) we just tend to ignore these things and kind a hope they’ll go away on their own. We think fear-based thoughts and make ourselves anxious, stressed and uneasy and we expect absolutely nothing to come of it!

Even if you didn’t like physics class we can all recite “Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes form.” So if you focus (purposefully or not) until you have a big wad of fearful, stressful energy INSIDE of you and even if YOU don’t do anything with it – it is doing something WITH YOU.

When we get sick we get tempted – because we are seeing the illness signs on the External – to apply only External solutions to an Internal problem. Except this is not only an external problem. All external problems have internal origins. As within, so without. Sneaky how true that is!

Should you do some external things for relief? Sure. But for real resolution? Start with the Internal first. When you are sick, you are wrong about something that you think you are right about.

You are not telling yourself the truth or accepting the truth about something. (That can be as simple as you let people treat you horribly, like you are not enough and you are wrong – You ARE Enough. You were BORN enough).

Your illness is the check engine light. It’s how God talks to you to tell you that something has to be done with some belief that you have right now. And yes, it can be a subconscious belief you can’t spot. That’s what coaches help with.

******** More About Beliefs Hidden in Your Subconscious

Here’s the crazy scary part – if you’ve been working on yourself for a while you may have cleared all of the obviously “off” beliefs that you know you have. I got mine all clear. If you did that too, we are now down in what I call the “Sub-Basement Beliefs”. Meaning beliefs that we cannot see and don’t even know are even there, even though we’ve looked for them. We don’t know they are there, until something goes wrong.

You only know there is problem with your mostly invisible Sub-Basement Beliefs because something is going wrong in your life without apparent reason. Our fabulous Check Engine Light turns on. That check engine light always means something is wrong. Illness always mean something is wrong (“out of alignment”) with your creation level which are your thoughts and beliefs.

If things are going well for awhile and then start to go sideways, it has a cause. Spotting and dragging Sub-Basement Beliefs to the light is tricky. It’s some of most resisted but most satisfying coaching work.

Just remember: The conditions you observe right now are the thoughts you had previously. If your health is compromised and your “Light” is on – Investigate it! Get under the hood of your mind and poke around and ask to know what is causing the signal light.

If you attempt to shut off the light using medicines and surgeries without fixing what caused it originally, it can and likely will reappear somehow. Don’t get angry at or resist your health condition, its TALKING to you. It is loving you. It is trying to HELP you.

Am I a healer? Never thought of myself that way, but I help heal root causes that turn into cruddy stuff on the external. I’ve reversed my own 2 runner’s knees, a serious bone infection in my jaw during a dental implant and a scary mammogram. And yes, I can track the “truth I was defending against” for each. The jaw infection with x-rays below came on the heels of a romantic disappointment with Mr. E. for instance.

Anything out of order in your external is pointing you to the control knob inside of you. Go there. Look for it. Be ruthless with yourself if need be. Find it, release and love it. Forgive yourself for not seeing it sooner and heal.

Did this help you?

Write me and let me know if these articles are helping you. I am coaching you. I can either write “12 Ways to Decorate Your Bedroom for Valentine’s Day” or I can write articles that make you think and stretch and question how you’ve operated in the past so you can grow.

Keep emailing me and telling me your thoughts. Is there a problem you want tackled? If it is common enough, I’ll answer it for you and everyone else if you ask. Maybe we’ll do a Spiritual Dear Abbey in February? We’ll see… 🙂

Tanya Stewart, Esq.

Life & Business Transformation Coach

Convincing Yourself…

Jan

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Figure out which group you belong to in today’s post.

Are you Convinced or Do You Need a “Convincer”?

Is someone always having to chase you?
Do you choose and stay convicted-of do you flop right back?
Do you second guess all your important decisions so people can’t feel secure around you?

We do one thing the way we do everything.

For my 2016 I released the desire to convince anyone of anything. It’s efforting. It’s engineering. It’s resistance as opposed to allowing.

Convincing usually involves using a “how” as proof. “Hows” are not our job (hell, they aren’t even MY job and I’m a Coach!)

Convincing is not “easy.” And I now choose EASY in 2016.

Stop needing others to convince you. Decide yourself (responsibility) and then stick (Commitment).

When you say “convince me”, what you are really saying is give me guarantees, give me security, give ME promises that YOU will control MY outcome. How is that not putting that person in the position of your God? When you give away power, you feel powerless, so you feel crappy WHEN people are “convincing” you. It’s NOT them and their action, it’s you giving away power that makes it feel icky.

Convincing gives us a back door we can sneak out of if “it” fails by blaming whoever “convinced” us.

As a lawyer my clients wanted me to do this and I DID it for a decade and a half before I learned better. Calling myself out, hindsight is 20/20.

Need to lose weight? Convince Yourself.
Need a coach? Convince Yourself.
Need to face your mistakes? Convince Yourself

CONVINCE YOURSELF

No one wants clients we have to chase.

We don’t want lovers we have to chase.

We don’t want jobs we have to force.

Or Bosses we need to tap dance for…
Start by Convincing Yourself of what you need or want to do. Commit to THAT. Then empowering, committed, non-wiggly energy will show up around you so there is less need for you to convince others.

>>>>Simple formula: Don’t like it? Fix it in you* and it goes away outside of you.

(*If you aren’t directly doing what you don’t like, you are probably FEARING it being done to you – spiritually these are IDENTICAL. They will both attract, in fact fear actually pulls it to you faster than even “doing” the disliked thing. Example: You don’t like cursing. You may not be DOING the cursing, but if you are afraid of being cursed at or around- you attract it.)
You will feel soo much freer letting go of the false obligation to CONVINCE other people and releasing the burden on others of CONVINCING you.

Many, many people WANT help. If that’s you, Convince Yourself that you want a coach. Then do my 4-Steps. Commit to making it happen. Clarity will guide your Choice of coach. And finally, Inspired Actions show up and you are on your way. That’s spiritual rocket fuel.

Giving up people who constantly need to be convinced restores your energy and is Self Loving.

Do you see where you can give up some “convincing” somewhere and let more ease into your life?

*****Share with me what kinds of convincing you are giving up!

When to Leave a Friendship?

Nov

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When to Leave a Friendship?

Friends are a pillar of emotional support and source of happiness. But there are times when every relationship comes to an end, and even a solid friendship can go wrong after a point. This is a universal phenomenon, considering the fact that people change and may not like you or need your company as much as they did before. Although leaving a friend can be painful, especially one you have had many sweet memories with, you need to know when you should move on.

When you outgrow a friendship

Every day, you change and so do your views, priorities and desires. Have you wondered why some childhood friends who used to be bosom pals for you during junior school days are not there anymore? As your maturity level changes you cannot connect with a friend anymore and not laugh at the same jokes, cry on the same tearjerkers and find fun in the same activities. After a point, you begin to grow out of a friendship as you are not the same person anymore. It is better to let go of resistance to this change and create newer friendships.

When friendships go wrong

Any relationship depends on mutual trust and respect, and it is often that you can find a friend making you feel bad with his actions, behavior or gestures. It could be because your friend has changed for the worse, or stopped caring about your emotions or is simply exploiting you to gain some advantage. Do not hold on to the person despite the hurt. Step back when you find the person repeating the mistakes despite repeated requests. Don’t ignore the pattern they’ve created.

When a friend is not true anymore

When a friend betrays you or attempts to deliberately do something that will put you in harm’s way, you need to put an end to that friendship. Make sure that he is doing this intentionally, and walk out when you are sure of his intentions. Do that in the easiest way possible for you. A letter, email or even a text can be appropriate parting methods if the person will try to manipulate you into changing your mind when done in person.

When a friend holds you back

A true friend never holds you back and impedes your growth. When you find the person causing you emotional harm and holding you back from progressing in life, find out why he or she is doing so. Does he have a valid reason, or simply trying to keep you close to him or worse, jealous of your potential success? A friend who is too self-absorbed, trying to compete with you constantly, disclosing your personal information or belittling you in every occasion needs to be reclassified. They aren’t your friend anymore.

It is never easy to leave the friendship but if the friend has been taking more from you and the relationship than giving and that has been contant and ongoing, find the strength to act on your truth. Getting a coach can help you through that.

How to Be Feminine in Business?

Nov

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How to Be Feminine in Business?

The business domain was once a male bastion, but not anymore. In the last four decades, more and more women have become successful in business and many of them now head top corporate positions. But women are often criticized as being too bossy or cold, which are not regarded as feminine traits. You do not have to act like a man to be successful in business. If you are a woman in a business position, you can get greater acceptance by simply acting as natural to your sex and not like men. The following tips will help you to be feminine in business.

Dress like a woman

Do not wear boxy dresses that hide your shape. Wear outfits that accentuate your body shape, although too tight-fitting, short or revealing dresses are a strict no-no. Put on dresses which have hints of feminine colors, such as pink, yellow, orange or light red. Team these up with a little make-up, such as neutral eye shadows and pink/red lipstick. Even if you do not like makeup, you can simply use a lip balm to moisten your lips. Groom yourself well, get a good stylist to cut your hair, pay attention to pairing your clothes along with some makeup and appear polished and poised.

Use feminine accessories

Although you do not need many accessories, you can simply use a few key items such as thin silver bracelets, cute rings, pearl earrings, a silk scarf or a hair clip. These can help enhance your femininity, and make you stand out from men. The essence of femininity lies in embracing your womanly side and acting responsibly, but not acting like a man.

Wear a perfume

The scent of a woman defines her almost always. If you wish to be feminine, wearing a scented lotion or perfume can help. Rubbing a small amount of scented lotion on your arms or neck or simply putting a small amount of perfume onto your neck can be enough. Use only a small amount. You simply need to smell good, not overwhelm others with a too strong fragrance.

Be fun

Being feminine means you do not have to act like a man, and act macho. Be fun, smile and joke with others. Be at ease with yourself. Maintain a fine balance between being open and happy without flirty. Simply mix with men and women at the workplace in your playful and lighthearted self. Show up as you!

Have a feminine walk

The walk of a woman sets her apart. Have graceful body movement while walking around, and walk more with the hips instead of the shoulders. Take lighter steps and glide in as elegant manner as possible. Take shorts steps faster even when you are in a hurry. The way you enter a room or a meeting is always noticed, consciously and subconsciously. Hiding your femininity is a sign of weakness and lack of confidence in yourself.

How Colors Impact Your Mood?

Nov

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How Colors Impact Your Mood?

Chromotherapy, or Color therapy, happens to be quite popular. This is a holistic healing method which is used by many alternative healthcare providers and can cause changes in emotions, moods and overall health. Colors have been proven to affect mood, perception and even cardiac rate. Color therapy is used by many healthcare providers as well as in hospitals in order to cure depression, anxiety and other mental issues with success. Surrounding yourself with beneficial colors can be very therapeutic and beneficial for you. Know about the following colors which can have a positive impact on your health in various ways.

Blue

This is an extremely relaxing color and can calm the senses. It is able to lower heart rate and blood pressure, and also relax the mind when used in warmer shades. It is important not to use darker shades of blue, which can make people sadder and have profound feelings of grief. Now you know why they call it “Monday Morning Blues”.

Green

It is regarded as one of the most calming colors, which relaxes the senses. Naturally, it is popularly used to paint sitting rooms and kitchens. As this is a romantic color, it is able to increase libido.

Purple

Bold purple enhances feelings of self-worth and elegance, while lavender and light purple hues can calm the senses and are ideal to paint restrooms in. The color works great as wall paint in babies’ rooms.

Yellow

It is regarded as a “happy” color, and can cheer up the mind. It is the color of sunshine and daffodils, and evokes positive emotions. Rooms that are painted in yellow color can evoke intensely joyous feelings. However, it can also be rattling for some, which explains why decorators often advise parents against painting their babies’ rooms in yellow color.

Red

This is associated with energy, and is found to excite the mind and increase heart rate and blood pressure. It is used to paint dining rooms or living rooms, where people are supposed to meet and have an animated conversation. Painting bedroom walls in red or bright crimson hues can cause difficulties in sleeping.

Orange

This is another energetic color, which can stimulate the senses and excite the body. Naturally, it is perfect to use for painting the walls of gyms and exercise rooms, and not for bedrooms. When you are feeling low, you can dress up in orange clothing and find yourself feeling more energetic after sometime.

How to Increase Your Self Esteem?

Nov

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How to Increase Your Self Esteem?

Self-esteem is actually the way in which you view yourself and regard how worthy you are as an individual. If you do not value yourself well and feel like you do not deserve much importance, love or attention, you probably suffer from low self-esteem – which is a common problem in the society today. Low self-esteem can be due to psychological or physical problems, or even due to long-standing abuse. If you wish to have higher self-esteem, the following tips can help you a lot.

Be with positive people

If you hang out with people who like to poke fun at you and belittle you at every turn, you are bound to have a hurt pride sooner or later. This can hamper your ability to behave and act with confidence. Being around positive people, who respect, admire and love you, can help you to start feeling better about yourself. You can also get encouragement and support from them, which would motivate you.

Join public speaking classes

Are you afraid to speak in public, for fear of being humiliated and made fun of? Many individuals with low self-esteem suffer from the same problem. By enrolling in a public speaking course, you can get out of your comfort area and slowly find acceptance. You can get tips on how to overcome your hesitation in speaking out in public, what to speak about and how to speak it properly. It is well-known that greater acceptance builds greater confidence, and you can value yourself more when you find others valuing you and wanting to listen to you.

Exercise regularly

Regular exercise helps release the mood-enhancing chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin, which can boost your mood and make you feel happier. By exercising more for 5 days a week, you can keep yourself physically fit and toned and improve your looks. Being more body beautiful can raise your confidence on the way people see you.

Trust on yourself

Finally, it is important to trust on yourself and your abilities. Each and every day, try to do something that you feel you will be generally unable to do. By completing those tasks, you can raise your confidence level. You will be surprised at how easily you can improve. With more and more achievements, you can conquer your fears, inhibitions and low self-worth. Be ready to change yourself for the better, and you will find yourself changing well.

Can you have a family and a career?

Nov