[Self-Love] Let Yourself WANT What You WANT…

 Let Yourself WANT What You Want…

Alphas, please let yourself want what you want.


I want you to want what you REALLY want even if:

You don’t know how to get it.

You aren’t sure it exists.

No one around you has it yet.

You don’t have money to buy it right now.

You aren’t sure you “deserve” it.

You aren’t sure you are READY for it.


Please let yourself want what you want.


All of the great change in this world has happened because some Alpha somewhere decided to want what they wanted:


an end to polio, effective birth control, clean water, education, the right to vote, the laptop lifestyle, tampons, automatic transmissions, sugar free CHOCOLATE and GREAT husbands (you can only get a great one if you can say no to the “good” ones – that goes for mates AND opportunities).


I wanted new incense and I wanted variety and I require high quality. I bought 14 packages with 19 different kinds from 3 different vendors. I paid 225% more for one sampler pack that was out of stock, just to get it when I wanted it (It came on Valentine’s Day!).





What this really expensive? $64 in incense and I feel like MILLION dollars. I feel wealthy and loved because I let myself want what I wanted. I wanted to try new smells….so I did. (Found some winners already and one I put out after only 10 mins! Bleh!) Can you do this?


Are you able to let yourself want “IT”?


Where are you settling in your desires – inside your own HEAD


Alphas. Stop settling. Not in relationships. Not in health. Not in happiness and NEVER on tea, leggings or incense.



(Or honey, I’m a honey elitest too! My honey has won GOLD in the world championships for Sourwood honey FOUR times in Ireland, France, Ukraine and 2016 South Korea – and yes, there IS a world championship for honey!)


Do you need help to even know what it is you really WANT? That’s hard. I’ll help you. Let’s talk. I have time next week on Tuesday and Wednesday.







P.S. If you need a tea, incense, honey or legging referrals, just hit reply & ask! Happy to help! Bonus – all referrals come with an answer to a single burning life question too! Why? Because I can! Because I WANT TO.

P.P.S. Happy Birthday Candance, Thomas, TJ, Doug & Klemens! 

Congrats to SUE on her 2nd Place Finish & Award in her 5K – 50+ Division.

Why is Sue an Alpha?

She took the challenge I gave her to run a 5K out of the blue, not in running shape, with an old knee issue. She found an app and trained on ice. 

She ran in 30 degree weather (-1 C) with high winds AND…THE FLU! (And wore the ear warmer I knitted for her!) Sue is a Master Gardener & Sobriety Coach

Go Alpha! Momma is PROUD 🙂





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[Audio] Voicemail #4 from Tanya – Consistent Self-Love

You’ve Got Voicemail… 



Play Voicemail #4 (05:07)



In Voicemail #4  I share about consistent self-love &

what an amazing milestone it is to reach for. 


(Hit play with orange button in upper left corner)







P.S. It felt wonderful to spend part of Valentine’s Day talking to YOU!


I recorded this around the new roof being put on my home today. There was a delay from the city inspector and in the quiet, I realized I knew just what to share.


I recorded it and literally 20 seconds after I hit stop and before I could even hit replay – the banging started again! Divine timing even covers roofing noise 🙂



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[Audio] Voicemail #4 from Tanya – Consistent Self-Love Facebook Twitter LinkedIn 



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[Self-Love] Reboot NOW or Crash Later

Reboot NOW or Crash Later


Sitting down to do some work, and I discovered my laptop was dragging.


When was the last time I shut it off?        Fudge. 

It suddenly occurred to me that we reboot things only when they “need rebooting “because they’re no longer working at optimal capacity or they’ve crashed.

How hard would it be for me to get into a regular routine of rebooting and cleaning up my laptop so that it was always operating at optimum efficiency? Yeah, that was a rhetorical question.



I’m not just talking about your laptops. Or your phones – when was last time you turned your phone completely off? And did a FULL backup??

I’m talking about you. When was the last time that you shut YOU completely off?


There is so much anger and stress and fear and anxiety in my country right now (the US). It is even more important that we reboot.


It reminds me of life right after 9/11 happened. It seemed like I watched the same news footage on an endless loop for three or four days before I snapped out of it. 


It took 4 days to even THINK of rebooting. I suddenly realized that what had happened, had happened. I needed to turn my life back to full capacity. 



I was literally doing damage to myself by staying in deep empathy with that pain. And there was a near endless parade of folks willing to keep talking negatively about it. 


Even if you’re not in the US and our election isn’t bothering you and the behaviors of my fellow Americans on Facebook aren’t affecting you – I want you to make time to reboot.


Here is the definition of a Tanya Reboot:


1) Shut off all electronic devices. Not silent. Off.


Those of you with children, please do not argue to me that you cannot turn your phone off for two hours. We didn’t always have cell phones and our mothers weren’t in contact with us 24/7. Remember “going out to play”? You survived.



2) Find a way to get yourself alone.



If this cannot be done in your household – you can go out and be alone in public (which is actually way easier than it sounds). You at a coffee shop, phone off, no computer, no friend on the way. 


3) Do you remember the phrase “defrag your hard drive”? 

I want you to defrag (defragment) your hard drive by taking a look at your life and just seeing what you see. 

You don’t have an agenda to fix something but just take a look at it and see what might need to be cleaned up or moved around a little bit to make space for your life to work smoother.  A-ha’s need space.


4) Write. That. Down. 

If you can begin any of it right at that moment – do so.


5) Finish your reboot with the guilty pleasure of your choice (must be considered legal where you live…).

Chocolate bar? Check. Fancy candle lighting? Works. Give yourself a foot rub? Also good. Buy that silly $7 hot drink. Watch cat videos on YouTube? Yes, please. Hey, eat fast food on good china. 


Just unplug for a bit.



Even 30 minutes of mindful time spent only on you will help. Making it NOT possible to be disturbed is critical as it confirms the value of your time. 

Do you know how DECADENT it feels to announce total dominion over your OWN TIME? I want that for you. 

Even if it’s just for today. 



Valentine’s Day is next week, so I say push for 90 mins.

Love you. I’ll be unplugged later today…my guilty pleasure will be Indian food – I am in LOVE with Butter Chicken!!







P.S. Tell me what your guilty pleasure will be after your reboot?





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[Focus Mag] The Wisdom of Jim Rohn – Applied





I want to help you improve your life and business by teaching from the wisdom of Jim Rohn, a master teacher for me. This training is broken down into 10 bite sized parts from his Top 10 Success quotes per Success Magazine.

First, I want you to pick a random number between 1 -10. THAT one is your focus for the next 24 hours after you read this!


If you want to jump start yourself, read the whole training and then focus on 1 each day for 10 days.

Ready to have more and feel better? Go!


Zig Ziglar -World Famous Motivator


“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

















Today’s TRAINING:  

The Wisdom of Jim Rohn – Applied


10. “Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.”


Alphas strive and push and MAKE things happen. Why do we push so hard? Because you aren’t happy where you are. There’s a catch to this. You’ve heard “what you resist, persists.” Yep. Totally true.


As long as you are unhappy with this, frustrated by it and generally TRYING to run away from it, the Universe sticks it to you like glue. This is the show you that nothing external to you needs to change (or WILL change) until you have changed what it generating it from the inside.


If you are in direct sales, you may be watching the other women in your area and on your team crushing it. So you feel bad about the sales you DID make, right? That is a great way to STAY down. Be happy (accept/allow) with what you have WHILE you are working on qualifying at that next level.




9. “Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.”


Thou Shalt Not COAST. Maybe that would’ve been added if there had been room! If you have ever played a sport, you know this one. You run faster, running with people who are faster than you.


Your game improves quicker when you are playing an very rarely win. Superstars UPLEVEL those around them. Do not hide in the back of the room, back row. Raise your hand and put yourself in the crowd with the “doers.”


The truth is, we tend to automatically adjust our circumstances to “comfortable” the same way we avoid stepping into a shower that is either too hot or too cold.


We need a coach or other people who are where we want to be, looking back, requiring MORE of us than we would naturally offer. Make sure you have that. If you don’t, go buy it.




8. “Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”


I cannot overemphasis this. In one week, I think I told 3 clients that they don’t need any more information. They don’t need better technology. They don’t need to keep trying to follow the instructions of a dozen millionaire gurus (pick one and stick, preferably ME!).


If you apply just a few things and do those things over and over, you WILL be successful. One of my coaches earns $7M a year. She teaches us to do 2 things and 2 things well. We don’t need to do anything different for the first 3 years or so to go where she’s going. 2 things.




7. “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”


Alphas are great starters and poor finishers. Just are. Make yourself become SERIOUSLY concerned with how you finish things. Do you wait for a crisis? Do you bail entirely? Do you do the long, slow fizzle?


Poor finishing can be corrected by the building of new habits, which after enough time passes become part of your subconscious and then you are golden.




6. “If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”


Do YOU know of any great success stories that started like this:


“So I was just coasting and a great opportunity came that required me to go all in, immediately, burn my bridges and take a chance. I said no of course! And after 28 years in this same office job, they just GAVE me the company! And then they gave me a time turner too, so I could go back in time and finally enjoy the years I watched slip away!”



“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy Shit, what a ride!” Hunter S. Thompson


When was your last true risk?




5. “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”


I laugh when I hear people telling me their goals. Ok. Not OUT LOUD. That would be mean.  What I WANT to hear is what you are going to CHANGE. What block do you have a plan to FINALLY MOVE? Because you’ve had goals before.


Every poor person in America has had a goal to be rich. Goals are just dreams without consistent action and to get consistent action you have to have discipline. Show me your discipline love.




4. “Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely.”


I love how he put this. You are careful with your red soled heels because they are expensive. You are careful with your Mercedes Benz because it is expensive. A Facebook friend from grade school wants to talk to you for 3 hours about how terrible the President is and you GO FOR IT.


Time is our only true currency. You can’t get it back and they aren’t making more (I asked).


Set your milestones for each week and each day and get ruthless. Your Mom calls, you can call her back. Your children want to watch Winky the Wonder Noodle for the 3rd time in your office space – say No.


Choose how you’ll spend your days and don’t let people steal time from your dreams (they aren’t making more of those either).




3. “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”


Umm. I love this? No. Not strong enough. If I were inclined to tattoo and I could wrap this around an ankle, I’d go for it. Yeah. That’s about right.

Discipline or Regret. Pick.


Oh and so you know. There have been MANY studies of people on their deathbeds and they NEVER mention discipline and they always list their regrets on what they FAILED TO DO, FAILED TO LOVE, FAILED TO TRY. How can you fix this on one thing, right now? Today?




2. “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”


Can this be difficult? Yes. As Alphas, we tend to be a tiny bit heavy handed (little bit). So I encourage you to take a deep breath and learn how to balance. Showing Alphas how to balance is a fun challenge because we tend to the extremes. Balance is NOT our default.


Balance is the place you want to reach. The place where we are strong but not bitches. We are helpful but not Superwoman. We are sensual but not slutty. We are entrepreneurs but not businessmen.  We grow our business but enjoy our families.



1. “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”


I love this one at #1. This is a great, “Where am I in my growth?” check. Which one are you being right now? Truth please.  When you wish it was easier or had fewer issues – you are blaming the world and stepping out of responsibility and into victim. Bleh.  Keep that contagious mindset over there please!


When you look at an angry bull and ask for a cape – then the Universe starts to dance with you!


Remember, when you need anyone or anything to change to BECOME happy, you are pretty much doomed to be unhappy in life.  When you can look at things gone sideways, roll up your proverbial sleeves and say, Let’s get ON WITH IT, then you are on your way.


And of course, you have to ask for help. Ask for advice, guidance, coaching and support so you can bloom right where you’ve been planted.


Alphas ask for help (in fact, we’ll demand it if need be).  Line up your resources or get new ones and move your blocks girlie.




Tanya Recommends:


To help you with the discipline of drinking enough water, I’ll share my tip with you. I won’t drink just water. Tired. Failed. Stopped.



Then tried sports waters. ALL I drank was Propel. Gave me kidney stones. Thanks Coke! (Sodium Hexametaphosphate – turns out you shouldn’t consume it in large quantities over a few years. Weird huh?)



I WILL drink herbal tea – no caffeine. Sweetened with stevia (natural). I make a pot first thing in the am and I watch the level on the pot go down all day. Sometimes I have to have a chug fest right before bed but I get my “water” in me.


Where can you be creative to make your discipline easier?






Do one nugget of wisdom above – daily. Start with the one you picked “randomly” and keep going.


Notice where you have the most resistance and dig in there.

Ask for the help you need to get past the blocks you have. 




The tendency is to go WIDE not DEEP when you are learning. Are you always looking to acquire the next, new thing? The wisdom here is old. It is still valuable because it still works.

When you know something moves you in the right direction – do DEEP with it. If it’s a coach, stick with her. If it’s prayer, prioritize it. If it’s exercise, protect it. Go DEEP with what serves you.





Wow, Did You Hear?



Bliss, A Transformation Coach Says…


Really happy we got to connect!!!! The universe blessed me to run into u that night…


U are incredibly gifted, your presence is as strong as the sun, your messages u gave me were so on point, I absolutely luv luv luv your energy!!!!


U made my trip in SD at the mastermind an amazing experience!! I’m looking forward to seeing u again…


Much Luv, Bliss xoxo


Talk to Tanya


Spread the Word!


If Fearless Focus Magazine made a difference for YOU, would you share this on your Facebook page?


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My Mission:


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs READY for Better & WILLING to Change How to Transform their Lives from Messes to Miracles, Overflowing in Loving Relationships, Vibrant Health, Visible Wealth & Perfect Self- Expression.


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New! Tanya’s Take on Important Quotes & Teachings

Just recently, I felt I am to start sharing how I understand important quotes or teachings that aren’t commonly known or may be hard to understand, but helpful to creating your happiness. Look for [Quote] on the messages.
Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.
– Adyashanti – Spiritual Teacher on Oneness
I found this teaching riveting. It’s the warning label that should be on my coaching!
Everyone talks of enlightenment like it is a happily desired, painless process. But here we see reality. Truth is often only gained at the cost of your comfort. Will you pay that?
When someone begins coaching with me they describe their first conversation as eye opening, life changing and full of uncomfortable truths. I actually call it “dropping pianos of truth.”
Thankfully, I love you while I crumble away your untruths, so it’s easier.  That is the beginning of the process to Massive Transformation.
Massive Truth -> Massive Action -> Massive Transformation.
Look at the adjectives we use for truth: brutal honesty, painful truth, to put it bluntly, unvarnished truth, harsh reality, cold, hard facts, “don’t pull any punches”.  —-All scary and physically painful.
Given: We are hard wired to resist pain. Problem: Therefore, we are conditioned to resent and resist TRUTH and those who TELL IT.  (Wow, those truths hurt too!)
Isn’t is curious how much we all say we want others to be honest but generally, we are not good at hearing unpleasant truths? We “shoot the messenger.”
(That used to occur LITERALLY, giving kings bad news back in the day could be a death sentence. They literally developed a code of virtuous conduct to protect messengers from foreign kingdoms’ wrath.)
Today, ask to be shown a truth that you have been avoiding. It will sting but that will pass. I believe all the blocks to our dreams and happiness are resisted truths. Be brave and ask for a small truth today. I will too.
Oh, if you have a giant, piano sized truth that you need help with, Let Me Know.
I’ve helped people survive all of these truths: lying, embezzling,  infidelity, self-loathing, rape, mother’s hatred, father’s leaving, abuse, business failure, disease, God blaming, child ruining, depression, soulmate losing, divorce, abandonment, drinking, poverty, married the wrong person and not loving your own children.
Your truth doesn’t scare me. I will help you with it when you ask.

P.S. Jack Nicholson in a Few Good Men: “You want the truth? You can’t HANDLE the truth.” Let’s make Jack WRONG.

[Audio] Voicemail #3 from Tanya – You Are Amazing

You’ve Got Voicemail


Play Voicemail #3 (03:07)


Voicemail #3 is me feeding your heart. You need to hear

someone loving you for no reason at all right now.




P.S. If you are struggling right now, believe you are loved. If you are succeeding right now, believed you are loved. There is a HUGE difference between KNOWING and BELIEVING.


Play your voicemail when you need to hear someone loving you. I have extra, you can have more.




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[Self-Love] “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue!” Guidance from Childhood

 “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue!”


At least in parts of the US, when I was a child you could hear this on the playground.


“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Anything you say bounces off me and STICKS to you.”


I was on a call with a client who was relating painful words given to her by her mom. Out of my mouth comes, “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”


I burst into laughter. First, hadn’t said that in…okay…let’s leave it at a LONG TIME.


And suddenly I could see it was spiritually PROFOUND.


When someone is sending nastiness your way, they are trying to push the pain inside of THEM, OUTSIDE of themselves by dumping it on you.


But, by law, you GET what you GIVE. You receive what you sent. It’s like making a hole in water!


What they send indeed sticks to them like glue.



If you are doing a great job of loving yourself, the negativity they shoot at you will NOT STICK. It won’t stick UNLESS you have a gap in your self-love (low self-worth story/subconscious beliefs) that it can hook into.


If you are looking to others first for their approval or love, you open yourself up to being “added to” AND “subtracted to” according to THEIR mood.



The question for you is, how good are YOU at bouncing off things that don’t serve you?


If their stuff is still getting in…GETTING to you… SPINNING you.


Talk to me, I can help you.






P.S.This brought back memories of my STICKER COLLECTION! Kept in photo albums (remember those?) and how prized my “puffy” stickers were! And the thrill when you traded for a better one. Did you have a sticker collection?


P.P.S. Someone stop me – does ANYONE remember cootie shots? That boy touched you? You needed a Cootie Shot! Yes, I am in my 40’s!



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[Focus Mag ] One Path to Happiness (Or How I Got Off Drugs)



I’m happy and pretty consistently happy now that I’ve stopped using. What drug you ask? One of the most powerful out there, completely unregulated and street legal – Approval. Some Alpha’s like to deny it but we LOVE approval, respect, gratitude.


How do we GET approval? Like every other drug out there. We buy it. With ourselves. We use the currency of our time, our choices, our free will, our love and even our bodies to get that next (hit) feeling that another person thinks we are “good, lovable, needed, important or worth it.”


Our brains (quick summary) work in a chemical soup and manufacture drugs responsive to our experiences.


We get literally addicted to the chemical mix that is created by feeling “approval” and we go into actual withdrawal without it. (i.e. Bad break up? Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Can’t focus. Crying all the time. Brain fog. Sounds a lot like withdrawal from a drug doesn’t it? I didn’t eat for 2 days once & didn’t NOTICE.)


Now that I’m clean, I’m happy almost all the time. My happiness came from ending my need for people to give me my approval. Let’s see how…

Caroline Myss – Author & Teacher of

Spirituality and Medical Intuition

“When you do not seek or need external approval…You are at your most powerful.”











Today’s TRAINING: Happiness




When I asked God what I was to train you on this week, I was staring out my window. It was gray and wet and a little cool and I felt happy. And it clicked.  I didn’t have any particular reason to be happy – I’m just happy. And that’s when I knew what I had to teach on today. 


I’m going to share with you what I think is the secret to my almost continual happiness. Want that? Good.



Why am I continually happy? Answer: I fired people as my source and got a job working for God.



Let’s unpack that. For my entire life, people have been my source for everything. For my food, my money, my love, my approval, physical happiness, emotional happiness, spiritual direction – safety, fun, everything.


I viewed them as “the source” of all the good things and of course the source of all the bad things.


That pretty much meant that I was working for people. People were my employer and could tell me what to do, tell me when I wasn’t good enough, fire me and terrify me by threatening my security.



Your “Source” Becomes Your “Dealer” Like an Addict



It’s really easy to see if you look at the behavior of an addict with their dealer. The person that’s addicted to the drugs that the dealer gives them, does what the dealer says. They PAY whatever price the dealer sets. If the price goes up, they complain but they PAY. If the dealer adds in crazy extra conditions, they complain, but they COMPLY.


Eventually, if the situation gets too terrible, the person goes and looks for… Wait for it… A new dealer! They don’t go seek to get OFF of their drug or break their addiction – they just switch to a different SOURCE for their drug!


Just like everybody else – I had my addictions. My particular addictions of choice were the standard Alpha favorites, approval and security (read: please don’t leave me). I had a core abandonment wound if you recall.


So I spent my life dancing for my drug. Trying to figure out how to please my many dealers, so I could ensure a continuous supply of the highest grade approval (praise, love) I could get my hands on.


I went through phases searching for the “GOOD” dealer. Once I was the sports, jock girl because that worked for those dealers. Once I was the nerd sci-fi girl – because that worked for those dealers. I was always Superwoman the Rescuer, lots of dealers there. And I definitely tried out the spiritual dealers too.


I’m a Mensa member – so I even tried the look at me, I’m a genius, can I have my love now? What’s that? I’m too loud and too bouncy and too into God? Ok, I’ll tone that down to make YOU more comfortable.


I didn’t have relationships, I had continuous ‘auditions’ to keep being the ONE side of me that they most wanted to see. The ONE side they were willing to feed & keep supplying their drug to.


But it always fails. It. Always. Failed. 


And in the case of the guy that tried to kill me – I’m going to call that an “epic failure.”



So what changed Tanya?


Me. I fired my dealers. People. I had an epiphany that I realized that people are not my source – God is my source. People are only channels for Source.


They are like irrigation ditches that come from the fresh, clean water to feed my fields so my harvest grows.


If a single channel gets blocked – I get another one because God makes his own channels.  I add the channels that I can see to build, but I don’t determine which channel gets used to send that life-giving freshwater to my fields. 


Control? Surrendered.


Once I really got it (as in, I changed my subconscious beliefs on this) that people were not my source, I truly believed my money didn’t come from a person or a client. I stopped worrying about the behaviors of people. And I stopped needing them to approve of me, so I was freed to do what I really wanted to do and what I was really CALLED to do.



Get a Job with God


I started viewing myself as an employee of God. If you talk to me directly, you’ve probably heard me say it at some point – I work for God.


No person has the authority to fire me – because they are no longer my boss or my dealer. They can’t change the terms on me, because they are no longer my boss or my dealer. They can’t deprive me of anything or threaten me with anything because they are not my boss or my dealer anymore.


I now believe this freedom is responsible for my near continual happiness. You see, when you’re an employee, if the office runs out of staples, do you panic? No. You ask the supply clerk and when you next look, there are just staples there for you – as if by magic!


When you are an employee – if you hit a problem that’s too big for you, you go back to your employer. You say, help me! And you don’t worry about whether they’re GOING to help you. OF COURSE, they’re going to help you, because you work for them. You’re doing their work. You’re helping them. So of course, they help you.


Look at your life right now and imagine the things that are bothering you. Now, how many of them are because a person isn’t loving you the way you want them to, not appreciating something you are doing or not keeping their word to help you? If you didn’t need any of that, how much easier would it be to be happy?



Happiness Defined


Florence Scovel Shinn is a master teacher for me. It is from her teachings that I distill this essence:


My happiness is secured because I don’t need another single person on the planet to change in order for me to be happy.



I do not need a different president. I do not need my friends to do better. I do not need a client to respond faster. I do not need my Mother to be kind. I do not need my Alpha Mate to find me faster.


It is a state of allowing. And remember total allowing is unconditional love. In this state, you do not require the approval of other people. If they do approve of me, wonderful. If they don’t, that’s okay too.


To my Alphas who are moms, you have heard people say you should not seek to be your child’s friend. I’ll teach it this way, you should not seek your child’s approval because that makes your children your DEALER and it continues the cycle for them once they are adults.


They will become either the addict seeking approval (love) or the Dealer, withholding it for “payment.” Love then becomes something you EARN.  Happily, this cycle is breakable.


The Benefits to Firing People & Ending Approval Seeking

There may be many paths to getting to where I am and I wanted to share mine with you. I fired people as my source. I literally do not see a person as the source of my income.


This has made me SO much more generous than I have ever been in my entire life. I can give to anyone and everyone because I’m not looking for any one of them to “pay me back “and give back to me.


I don’t judge or weigh what I receive from people against what I gave to those people – because it doesn’t matter- because they’re not my source.


I gladly accept what is given to me, because whatever is given to me is arriving through channels that the Universe has picked out. I stopped telling the Universe which channels to use! I build my channels as best as I can, but I don’t insist that God uses them! I surrendered.


If ever it looks like I’m shorted on something from a person – I notice that channel is blocked and ask God to make up the flow wherever HE wants.


I literally work for God. I consider myself one of his best employees. Not because I’m perfect – you still can find me in pajamas at 2 PM on a Saturday working up to starting my day!  But because I am radically available, following my trust and using my voice to share my love.


It doesn’t matter what name you put on your Source. God. Jesus. Nature. Universe. Muhammad. Goddess.


It matters that you see yourself working directly for your Source and not for people. That you fire all of your dealers.


Dr. Wayne Dyer said a worthy goal is to be independent of the “good opinion” of other people. I finally get that!


It’s nice when you love me but I don’t need you to. And you feel ever so much MORE loved around ME – because I don’t need anything from you.


You feel free to be who you are, wherever you are in your journey. My acceptance of you feels so good to you, that you actually treat me better now than you ever did in my past!


My Source asked me to tell you why I’m happy because maybe it will help you head in this direction too.


I love you.


In Joy (& Happiness),





Tanya Recommends:


Please read Florence Scovel Shinn’s The Game of Life and How to Play It. I own a 1927 7th Edition of it.


It is most often in a book with her other 3 works. And trust me, you’ll want to start book 2 about 3 minutes after you finish the first one!


It was her book that began my daily bible readings. I was intimidated by her use of bible quotes when I first read the book.



She taught me that the word “Lord” in the bible can be read as the word “Law”, as in the Universe’s Laws. THAT one tweak changed my whole life. I now have no resistance to the word Lord, but I used to! (Catholic school: Kindergarten to High School).


Here’s a link to get it on Kindle for 0.99 for the first book.


Get It




Look around you until you find a “dealer” in your life. Fire them. That is NOT a conversation, because it has nothing to do with THEM. It is you in your head deciding that you won’t die if this person takes back their love, approval or praise of you. Figure out how to fill your own gas tank so you are not looking for and dependent upon others to “fill you up.” If being alone is uncomfortable, you have a dealer somewhere that you turn to (and a dealer can be food, shopping, working or actual drugs) to give you a “hit” to lift you. Just notice it and notice how you are behaving to court favor with your dealer. Awareness precedes change.




You’ve heard it, “Happiness is an Inside Job.” When your happiness is tied to the external you become enslaved to the source of that external. You literally worship a false God. The Universe wants you to turn within and see how wonderfully you were designed – to be happy now, without condition. That means, in general, it’s the Universe’s job to periodically threaten external sources of your happiness (read: bring a life lesson).  That is so you drop your total reliance upon the unreliable to seek safety within yourself. Yoda called it. He said: “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” 


Going really deep – Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness and ALL things will be Added up to you. The kingdom is within you. If you seek first outside of you, outside of truth, then things get removed from you.


​​​​​​​Once you don’t need the THINGS to be happy, then things get sent TO YOU and those things GET TO STAY.



Wow, Did You Hear?



Nicole, A Client Says…


“I was surprised with Nicole’s words on my Facebook feed 2 days ago! —Tanya”


“This lady right here is someone very special! Who knew sitting together through all those classes at SFHS (St.Francis High School), we’d be here today? Tanya thank you so much for all you do!! Working with you the past year has helped me make changes I’ve been looking to make for a long time, you truly are a life purpose catalyst! I appreciate you, I love you and I look forward to the best 2017 ever!!


Anyone looking for life/business coach talk to Nathania Stewart right now!! Whatever you put your mind to you can do, I’m sure, but Tanya will help you make that happen way faster. Her incredibly diverse toolbox of talent and no bullshit approach is nothing short of perfect – she’s the REAL DEAL. She is a former attorney and Mensa member and has coached the highly respected motivational speaker and author Les Brown who describes her as a dynamo. She will kick your ass (in a good way) and for that, I’m very grateful. Thanks love!!”


Talk to Tanya


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I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs READY for Better & WILLING to Change How to Transform their Lives from Messes to Miracles, Overflowing in Loving Relationships, Vibrant Health, Visible Wealth & Perfect Self- Expression.


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[How To] The 18 Words You Want After ____ Hits the Fan

The 18 Words You Want After _____ Hits The Fan


Warning! Whether this is for you or someone else, this first aid CANNOT be applied while you are still in full spin! Immediately after the mess, you cannot hear ANY coaching or redirection. Love is the only thing that can get through, so be gentle with yourself to reduce the “spin”.


Once you or whoever you are helping can “hear you”, follow these 3 steps and 18 words.


First, you are going to Ground Yourself to kill the rest of the spin – a spiritual term but just think of electricity.  When you are grounded you don’t get SHOCKED!


Grounding Statement#1: This is friendly Universe.





I love Esther Hicks for bringing this to conscious discussion. You either think the Universe is helpful or hostile – in my book “neutral” is not good. (Much like those animal shows that film tiny fluffy animals about to get EATEN and cameramen stay “neutral.” My emotional reaction to Mutual of Omaha’s (tv show) neutrality is SORTA HOSTILE!)


If the Universe is helpful (and it is), then it’s actions are FOR your good.


Grounding Statement#2: This mess isn’t by accident, it’s by DESIGN.


An awesome & powerful German coach I love (Benedikt Dommes) just posted 

 this on FB:

“The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that we are NOT supposed to experience what we are currently experiencing. That this moment SHOULD BE DIFFERENT than it is showing up for us. That we should feel and behave differently or that other people should feel or behave the way we WANT THEM TO so that we can accept them (read: love them).” Emphasis & Parenthesis by Tanya.


If this moment is EXACTLY what you are supposed to be getting and the Universe is trying to help you, then complaining, running, avoiding and denying the mess came FROM YOU, are all exactly what you DON’T want to do.



Tanya’s Spiritual Logic: If it’s not an accident, it HAS TO BE Part of the plan to help me.


The Pivotal Question: So, How is this HELPING me?


Ask that 6 word question when you LEAST want to ask it.

How is this divorce helping me?

How is this breakup helping me?

How is this layoff helping me?

How is this diagnosis helping me?

How is this insane Boss helping me?


This is the culmination of many things I teach: your triggers are your teachers, lying to yourself blocks the flow of ALL good things and problems are not obstacles to be solved but rather they are GUIDEPOSTS to the real issue.

To do the 18 words you’ll need to be willing to tell yourself the truth.


This is friendly Universe.

This mess isn’t by accident, it’s by DESIGN.

So, how is this HELPING me?



Do you know how often people have to be FIRED out of jobs that don’t serve them, so they are FORCED to move on and find happiness?


How long after the breakup before you cautiously admit to yourself, he wasn’t really that GOOD for me (Hint: Epic Good Moments plus Epic Bad Moments = BASICALLY NOT GOOD FOR YOU).


What if you could let go gently instead of needing your hands slapped?


Wouldn’t life be easier? Wouldn’t the Universe breathe a massive sigh of relief, if you became OPEN to being shown you were wrong or missing something?


Let me know if you need me to slow your spin and help you use the 18 words. It would be my pleasure!








P.S. To my Alphas looking at their “mess” at this moment. I love you. The only way to NOT repeat this is to accept why it was sent. Do that and it clears up, resist it and it grows stronger.



​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL.





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