We have grown up in environments that have shown us that if you want something done right… See? I don’t even have to finish that thought. When you want something done right, you go do it yourself! Whether you have time to or not.

I get it. We’ve had the same experiences. When I was still brave enough or silly enough (which ever one you think fits right now) to ask people to help me when I was younger, I was constantly disappointed. So, I learned. Alphas are lone wolves.

What is interesting, is how well our general refusal to ask mirrors our incredible resistance to receiving. Alphas are very poor receivers!

Yep, you’re beginning to see that connection aren’t you? Even if you don’t ask for help, if somebody offers help TO you, you say, “It’s OK, I’ve got it.”

And now time for Tanya’s two favorite coaching words. Stop it!

Your ability to receive, be it compliments, assistance, money, time or instruction, tell you a great deal about your level of self-love.

When you love yourself, you can easily receive FROM other people. The more problems you have with self-love, the more difficult it is receiving from other people.

In the absence of loving yourself, you don’t trust yourself. When you don’t trust yourself, you cannot trust other people. So, you don’t trust them trying to GIVE to you.

See how it’s all so connected? But the advantage IS the interconnection. When you fix any one area, all the other ones begin to improve and your entire life gets better quickly!

If You Need Something In Life You Need To Find A Way To GIVE It

You receive back what you have given and not necessarily from the place or the person that you GAVE it to. So, if you are stressed about not having enough money, it really is true that it would help you to find a way to give some money.

If you’re stressed about not having enough time, you actually need to find a way to give away some time.

We’re going to take the time to explain tithing. Because I didn’t used to think it was a valid concept. I really thought that 1 billion years ago a religious institution figured out is a really good way to make sure that they had a constant flow of income!

My life changed when I found my own understanding of giving. Tithing is about giving away something that you find valuable and that you want more of in your life. The percentage you give is not magical, it works with 10% and with 1%.

Once you actually realize that the amount you’re giving DOES connect to the amount you’re receiving, you quickly start WANTING to give more. All the wealthy people I know are GENEROUS!

So let’s say you have $4,000 a month of income to live from. Giving away 10% of that amount may be hard if you’re on a really tight budget. Yet in general, having 90% of your income leaves most of us still good.

Tithing (or giving) incorrectly is when you give the 10% only because you want something back or think you “have to” or you focus on and obsess aboutthe 10%.

When you do giving correctly, you give away a portion in celebration of how much you HAVE. Basically, you are focusing on the 90% you keeprather than the 10% or 2% that you are giving away.

What you focus on expands. If you focus on the 90% you keep, THAT portion expands. If you focus on whatever percentage you are “losing” or “removing”, the losing or removing expands. Huge for me when I figured this out!

My most valuable currency is my time. (I would value argue that is true for everyone else too.) So my primary giving vehicle is my time.

All of This Explains Why the Entire Cycle of Receiving BEGINS With Giving

What you give, you already HAVE and you ARE. The law is you get what you are and not what you want. What you give, you have extra of. By the Law of Attraction, giving IS the beginning of the cycle for getting.

Here’s a tricky bit. For the giving to “work”, it must be giving from the heart without fear and without seeking direct compensation. I am perfectly aware that all of my giving will compensate me.

I do not have to pretend that is not the case, in fact I love that that is the case! What I’m not doing, is I’m not looking for the person that I’m handing something to, to turn around and hand me something else back!

And the giving must be without a fear-based motive. This is one that trips up a lot of Alphas.

Lots of Alphas over give, which is giving in order to maintain or obtain control. When you are an over-giver, you attract victim like people, who you believe will stay with you and love you because of your giving.

Just think of any of those stereo typical grandmothers, were you come to their house and they overfeed you. And they do EVERYTHING for you but chew!. And they work their hands to the bone.  It’s actually a control thing and you feel guilty not grateful.

That is their way of bartering and buying and securing love.  They were taught that IS love, so I do not fault that.  However, it is in fact giving out of the fear that if I DO NOT smother you and wow you and care for and fix everything for you, you won’t love me the same.

When you give from your heart, that is the giving that begins the cycle that ends in you receiving what you want! That means you’re giving without the requirement of direct compensation, not giving to control or to engineer what flows from your giving.

Asking Plays the Magical Role In All Of This!

Asking gives the green light for people to give to you. It creates a container and expectation that you will receive, which activates the Law of Expectation. The Bible is very clear about this. It used command language. It is Ask and you SHALL receive. Very important.

How often you’re asking for help should not be so wildly disproportionate to how often YOU are doing the giving. That is a recent realization on my part.

If they ARE crazily out of balance (and I know they are, mine were too) you have found a very easy place to unlock and attract abundance into your life.

When you shut down other people’s efforts to give to you, you block the cycle of receiving. What you are doing to them, is then done to you. Asking and giving are the twin yoked horses that drive getting.

Make time to really do the Practical Tip below today!

Knowing vs. Believing

There is a difference between believing and knowing.

Many teachers use the words in different ways, often with knowing being superior to believing. I use it the other way around. Here’s my teaching.

Knowing of the Head:

This is your mind’s knowledge and the ego is involved. Think, you “know math” or “know how to cook.”

Knowing of the Heart = Believing: (can also be called wisdom, inspiration, intuition or faith)

The Heart is connected to Source and is your link to your higher self. Think, you “believe children are innocent” or “believe sunsets are beautiful.”

The “Battle” Is For The Free Agent, The Subconscious.

The subconscious is the home of EXECUTION, where all of your programming lives. It carries out it’s Commander’s orders without question. It follows patterns and runs things on a continuous loop. It does not KNOW anything or BELIEVE anything, so it can EXECUTE anything, good or bad, fearlessly. Think, perfect soldier.

There is only knowing. Either the mind knows or the heart knows, but the EFFECT of those knowings are vastly different!

When the heart knows, the effect is Believing and it leads to receiving.

When the mind knows, the effect is controlling or questioning, doubting and seeking evidence. These all lead to taking and controlling but NOT receiving.

When your subconscious is aligned with what your heart knows, you act in full faith and without crippling fear. You act out of love and are perceived as inspired.

When your subconscious is taking it’s directions from your mind, it requires evidence and proof continually so it starts, stops, doubts, wonders, starts again, stops again.

Familiar? 

Hearts Cannot Lie (But Your Subconscious Kinda Can!)

I have a friendly debate with a friend of mine about the heart, subconscious and the mind. He says that the heart can lie. I think it’s a wording issue. Today, I am finally able to bring through what MY heart knows of this matter.

The heart is connected to Source energy and therefore cannot lie. The heart knows what it knows – the question is can you allow what your heart knows? When you are allowing what your heart knows, you are believing.

Lots of ancient texts will use the word “heart” for the word “subconscious”, watch out for that. For example, the biblical quote that ‘out of your heart, comes the issues of your life.’  That is saying, out of your programming come your life’s events. Clearer now.

The subconscious accepts all programming. If it is slaved to the mind, then it will accept, allow and execute programming that is consistent with fear. This subconscious would be the servant of the ego, which leads it to replicate, support and ignore lies and fear the truth (exposure).  

“I Know It With My Head, But Don’t Believe It Yet…”

Very common issue I hear when I’m coaching Alphas is: I know something with my head, but I just can’t get it into my heart. I know it but I don’t believe it yet. 

Here is the truth even though it’s a little harder to understand. That statement is not accurate. Why?

You are not trying to get knowledge down from your mind into your heart. The heart is connected to Source energy, all that is. It actually already HAS all the knowledge that you’re seeking.

You are actually trying to get heart knowledge UP from your heart, into your head! The head acts like a fairly aggressive sentry, blocking access to the subconscious so it can maintain it’s dictatorship.  IF the head agrees, it just unlocks the door and passes the programming on down. Bam, it gets executed.

If the head disagrees, it makes it very, very hard for you to rewrite the program it has the subconscious running.

We have all been trying to do this the wrong way! (Me included. I discovered this less than 2 years ago!)

What If Your HEART Held All The Answers?

Play with this idea – imagine that your heart actually has access to whatever answer it is you’re seeking.

IF that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to convince your heart of anything! You would actually be attempting to allow in what the heart already knows, instead of trying to convince the heart of something that YOU know. Instead of PUSHING, you’d be PULLING.

Haven’t you always read those annoying clichés about, everything you need is already inside of you??

Well fudge, that was true. 

Think for a moment, there are times in your life where you have just known things that you just couldn’t KNOW. That was a moment when you tapped into your heart’s knowledge. Basically, your heart has DSL to infinite wisdom and your mind has dial up with a 1200 baud modem. 

Believing Is About RECEIVING From Your Heart

Believing is about relaxing into the idea that you don’t have to fight to get the answer. It’s about trusting that if your heart knows something is so, you don’t actually need to see evidence of it to safely agree with it.

I love Dr. Wayne Dyer. And he taught so clearly in his book, “You’ll See It When You Believe It.”  Again, this great teacher noticed that we had it backwards!

It is your mind that says, I’ll believe it when (after) I see it. But the laws of creation and energy and dominion, say, you’ll see it once (after) you have first believed it. By your faith it is done unto you.

I am telling you today that the believing that you are to be doing is the allowing/receiving of the information that your heart already has access to. 

When I go to write these trainings for you, in the beginning I thought of myself as creating them. That was harder. I now understand that I more accurately transcribe them, because I receive them from my heart. Waaayyy easier.

Alphas struggle with control issues because we really want to “KNOW” how to do it, when to do it and why to do it. That desire for control makes accessing your heart’s knowledge difficult because you need to be in a RECEIVING mode to “get” from your heart. It gives, you receive.

It’s like Alphas go to the pump to get water, but we don’t bring a bucket! We come to the pump and we stare at it and simply demand and command water but we aren’t prepared to receive it! 

Can you “open your heart” to receive your heart’s knowing without the world’s evidence?

All that which we are now seeing, came from nothing which is seen. 

Deep? Yes. Important? Immensely. 

When you know with your heart – you are believing. That believing requires no evidence, because it’s source is Infinite wisdom. That believing is the basis of faith. 

(There simply is nothing better than the moment where I stop resisting being up late and let myself sink into a place of gratitude to be receiving what I’msupposed to teach. When I drop control, I can receive and “allow” in a discovery to share.)

Get Backed Up

• 
  You intend to believe you want to lose weight, your actions say our weight is okay now.
• You intend to save money, your bank account says you like spending it more than saving it.
• You intend to have a healthy relationship, your actions say you are still needy & hoping to get what you can’t yet give – trust.
• You intend to find & live your purpose, your actions say you don’t keep your commitments to yourself.

• 
  I never lost weight before because part of me didn’t want to.  I own that and am changing it now.
• I could never make and keep money before because part of me was afraid to. I own that and am changing it now.
• I couldn’t get and keep a healthy relationship before I didn’t think he existed or would want me. I own that and am changing it now.