Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

Alphas have 4 clear traits that get us praise and bring us misery. When something is wrong, if they can’t find Superman, they call us. Yes, we are Planners and Analyzers.

Let’s look at you Alpha as the CRISIS MANAGER.

Catch up Here – The Double Edged Sword #2 – The Analyzers, The Double Edged Sword #1 – The Planners

Super Power Trait: Crisis Management

Skill Set: To enter situations in turmoil and bring order out of chaos, often without adequate resources, help or time.

Weakness: Your amazing crisis management skills make you NEGATIVE. The better you are navigating situations where everything is screwed up, the HARDER it is for you to attract and thrive in situations where everything is just fine. Because you are EPIC at defeating struggle, you expect, look for and attract struggle. 

Superpower crisis management (which is another word for an Alpha’s favorite activity – rescuing!) makes you a full time WARRIOR.

How does that screw you up?

Warriors need BATTLES. Warriors start fights. Warriors feel unappreciated, rejected and lost without a struggle and a cause to “fight for.”

I spent over 15 years running my own high-conflict divorce law firm. Yep, read that again – high-conflict divorce law firm! It wasn’t even a normal divorce law firm, it was a “things are super screwed up, epic multi-year battle” law firm.

My cartoon avatar (from before people even had those) with a black woman in a blue business suit holding a briefcase and a massive Thor hammer. Warrior me!

I only ever got cases where things went crazy. I expected things to go crazy, I attracted cases where things went crazy and I excelled at handling the crazy. 

And then, because I was still human, I complained about all the crazy! 😉 

Friday nights, the law firm officially closed at 5 PM, but we never really left until after 6 PM, because we expected the evil opposing counsels to send us a sneaky, late Friday night faxes with something stupid in it – like, “we’re not turning the children over for visitation this weekend unless you confirm in writing in the next 10 minutes and it’s Friday at 6:30 PM” (Yes, that happened).

The double edge sword of being really good at handling all types of messes is that EVERYTHING in your life begins to reflect your strength, mess wrangling.

My relationships with my family, friends, clients and even my wealth all reflected my need to feel approval gained by rescuing someone or something from their crisis.

Time for Tanya’s two favorite coaching words: STOP IT.

The Real Goal is For Your Good to Simply FLOW To You

If your job has elements of rescuing (and for most alphas it will) keep it at work. If you don’t begin valuing things that you can receive without struggle, easily and in flow – you’ll stay a warrior your entire life.

Warriors often end up wounded and alone or die in battle.

Use your skill set, but consciously cultivate a desire, appreciation and a preference for that which is easy and peaceful. 

Start by noticing your language around things that come easily. Just like last week, I had you notice your language around other people’s feelings – check your head around anything that looks “easy.“

Do you hear yourself thinking?

Too easy…That won’t work… There’s got to be a catch… It won’t last… It’s too good to be true… She didn’t work for it…He took the “easy” way out…

Remember the days where if you called a woman “easy“ that was a huge insult? And now all these dating books tell you that you need to be more“difficult” to get a good man??

Can you see how the world has devalued things that are EASY and set you up to praise things that are difficult?

Surrender your need for struggle and break free of the cycle.

You can be good at fixing other people’s disasters while learning how to STOP attracting so many to yourself.

Ask me how.

In Joy,

We are learning 4 of the strongest traits of an Alpha. Our tendency is to focus only on our advantage and ignore it as a weakness. Yes, we are Planners.

Now, Let’s look at you Alpha as the ANALYZER.

Last week’s Trait – The Double Edged Sword #1 – The Planner

Super Power Trait: Analyzing

Skill Set: The ability to use your mind to see new perspectives, project consequences, quantify, clarify and collect information and most importantly, spot future problems.

Weakness: You are superhuman analyzing skills tend to make you HARD. The better you are analyzing, the more you like to use your logic and mind to solve ALL problems. That makes you less capable of solving emotional and relationship problems especially where fear is present – because fear is illogical. 

Superpower planning makes you naturally contemptuous of those “messy” emotions.

How does that screw you up?

You minimize feelings and exalt plans and “figuring it out”.

You’re educated enough to know that humans have three different brains.

The last brain that developed is the logical, reasoning and thinking brain or the New Brain.

The second oldest brain which governs the limbic system is also called the Mammalian brain and it is your emotional center.

The very first brain, is the so-called “reptilian brain“ and it runs your body’s physical systems.

Can you see it?  Breathing. Emotions. Thinking. In THAT Order!

Science shows you what you already know, emotions come before logic. We decide everything emotionally first and logically second. Yet, we all lie to ourselves and think we are logical FIRST.

Alphas are highly skilled analyzers, but it comes at a cost to our ability to be able to handle and process emotions. And emotions can actually be a more useful skill than logic. (Think Mr. Spock from Star Trek…)

One of the words you want to watch for is efficiency. Anytime you’re trying to be “efficient”, you are in your analyzer! Your analyzer could give zero flips about people’s feelings IF their feelings cause gross amounts of inefficiency.

Oh, and just for fun, that includes YOUR feelings too.

Allow Your Feelings

The solution is to surrender to the way that you’re wired, which is to allow your feelings to BE important.

If you do not allow your feelings to be important, others will also not treat your feelings as important. Oddly enough, it will bother you when they do to you, what YOU do to you!

Alphas teach their children to de-prioritize their feelings to come up with the best plan, be efficient, get the results and achieve.

When running a corporation aiming to maximize profit, doing that can be a good thing in the short term. When running a life or a company you want to be sustainably healthy, not so much.

Repeat after me – feelings count. My feelings count. Their feelings matter.

There is one thing I found that is critical to secure the ongoing allegiance of an Alpha. Your Alpha leader must solicit and/or protect your feelings.  They cannot only be analyzers.

Notice your thoughts around the emotions you see in others (soft, lazy, annoying, weak…). Whatever you think of THEIR emotions, you think of yourself when YOU have the same emotion.

Start allowing your feelings with less judgment. It will open you up to feel emotionally more available (and therefore Lovable!) to those around you.

Add an “emotions” analysis going forward to check yourself and others! It’s its on a checklist, you’ll do it.

In Joy,

People ask me all the time to tell them MORE about Alphas. Here we go! This month we’re talking about some of the strongest Alpha traits and how they shoot us in the foot.

You probably heard the proverb that your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness – true!

This week, let’s look at you Alpha as the PLANNER.

Missed last month? The Anatomy of Opportunity #4 – Receive One

(links to entire Opportunity series are in #4)

Super Power Trait: Planning

Skill Set: The ability to take abstract things make them concrete, put them on a schedule and then crack ALL the whips to make it happen in real life.

Weakness: Your high planning skills tend to make you rigid. The better you are at planning, the more you like to use your “planning skills”.  That makes you less available for spontaneity and things that are not controlled by you.

Superpower planning makes you naturally suspicious of all things that are not planned.

Big fat giant problem with that?

Last I checked God and the Universe didn’t have a board meeting, invite you and SHARE their plans! Almost all the amazing things that have happened in your life, happened kind of out of the blue right? 

If you are resistant to things happening outside of your own control – you are asking for only what YOU can personally deliver to yourself and excluding yourself from Grace, abundance, serendipity and miracles.

Write this down: Miracles are never planned.

Whenever you see the word “control” or feel yourself needing to control something pause.  Alphas use the term planning when often we MEAN control. “I want to plan for that…” is “I want to control that…”

Ask yourself this question-

What do I fear will happen, if I am not in control of this?

Control is always about fear. You’re afraid that if you don’t make sure you get, you won’t get. Yes, I know that was your experience. But do you want your history to dictate your future?

You can be a healthy planner. Healthy planners plan what needs to be planned and let the rest go.  When you are in balance, you don’t exert control to try to plan things beyond a certain point.

Alphas are so good at planning, that they cannot detect the BALANCE point alone. Basically, your set point for “what I should beplanning” is way too high. You need an Alpha coach to help you start seeing the points where you have left planning and entered controlling. Or you can just listen to the complaints of those around you!

The Unknown

One of my Alphas has been blowing up my phone because I just helped her attract a dream 6 figure job SHE NEVER APPLIED FOR. 🙂

She was GIFTED the opportunity. Yep, right out of last week’s Anatomy of Opportunity. She has done the work to become attractive to gift givers by having a great track record, being coachable (I love her) and providing the referral source a chance to feel like a hero. Final part? She made herself willing to STRETCH her comfort for her next step.

She is a MASTER PLANNER. Our work is to get her to loosen those reins, while getting VERY clear about what she wants to create. We did that and opportunity found her.

Key? What she wasn’t PLANNING, held her BIG blessing! We have been taught to FEAR the unknown. Resist change and always fight to stay in control.

What if the key to life was SURRENDER? (Hint: It is.)

Letting go and letting yourself be guided, led, gifted and generally hooked up.

When you can surrender the need to plan everything, you make room for the unknown where magic comes into play. Alphas even tell God what to do! LOL. Ease off the need to be in charge and soften your memory of the past.

Determine what is yours and what is not and leave room for the unknown to HELP you not hurt you.

In Joy,

You are ready to learn the 4th way you can get your big opportunity as we wrap up The Anatomy of Opportunity.

You wouldn’t think there was anything to teach about receiving opportunity as a gift. Ha! Read and learn…

Catch Up Here – The Anatomy of Opportunity #3 – Shop One, The Anatomy of Opportunity #2 – Fix One , The Anatomy of Opportunity #1 – Grow One

For your awesome opportunity to arrive as a gift, two things have to happen before that magical moment.

Part One – You have to be able to attract amazing gift givers

Part Two – You have to be able to receive something you’re not quite ready for yet 

Part One – How Attractive Are You?

People who can just GIVE you an amazing opportunity aren’t common.

And those “magic, door opening introductions” they provide are valuable enough that people will fight for them.

These opportunity gifts are earned or attracted based upon how well you’re doing in three areas.

1) Demonstrated Ability

2) Coachability and Willingness and

3) Hero Factor 

Demonstrated ability is about satisfying the person’s head that giving you this opportunity is a safe, reasonable and logical thing to do. So if they’ve seen some type of track record or indicator that you would do well with the chance, their head will be happy.

Coachability and willingness are about their reputation. If they give you an awesome opportunity and it turns out you’re not able to be led, taught or happy to put in the effort they would’ve put into the opportunity – you make them look bad. You need to make your benefactors look amazing!

Hero feelings are the dirty little secret. Let’s be honest, people like giving to people who make them feel good. If you give something to me and it makes you feel like a hero and champion of the good, you are more likely to give to me again and give MORE.

If giving to you is hard to do and doesn’t light up any of the bells and whistle‘s on the “wow, it feels good to help this woman!”, you’ve taken yourself out of the running for most big opportunities.

Most people in powerful positions have moved past that phase in life where they rescue the ‘down and out’, so your BIG opportunity will not come because you need rescue. The surest reason for someone to gift you with your big break is when you remind them of themselves. We love to give to ourselves and we love the idea of helping our “former self” out.

Part Two – Can You Say YES to Scary Things?

I love this Sir Richard Branson quote:

“If someone offers you an amazing opportunity, and you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.”

Big opportunities mean you don’t have all of the resources you need to reach your success. One of the reasons the Universe gives you a big opportunity is so you will embark on a journey.  Just like the Greek mythological heroes, your task is to discover and collect all of the resources and tools (mostly internal) that you need to complete the final quest.

The ability to step forward when you are not ready, is a huge part of attracting opportunities you must grow into.

Are you willing to do the internal work to get yourself ready to attract these type of gift givers and to receive a gift that’s ahead of you?

Become a BETTER Receiver

Being a good receiver is one of the hardest things for anyone, especially Alpha women, to learn. Receiving means you stick your hand out, after dropping whatever else you had in it. Then, you wait for someone else to fill it with whatever it is they choose (not you choose).

Receiving involves an element of surrender that uncoached Alphas are not comfortable with. (But you can get better and yes, I will help if you ask.)

We have spent this month talking about different ways that opportunity shows up, so you have a deeper understanding of the unseen mechanics behindopportunity.

You now know that you can grow it yourself from an idea or seed.

You can fix it up or restore it just like an antique you find somewhere.

You can go shopping for it as long as you are really ready to buy.

And finally, you can prepare yourself to attract amazing gift givers and receive something that will stretch you.

Let me know the value you found in examining the Anatomy of Opportunity.

I diligently applied the Opportunity principles I’ve taught this month and unearthed a world of new opportunities (including Princesses! See below)

In Joy,

In our series, The Anatomy of Opportunity, so far we’ve talked about how YOU can create one. Now we’ll talk about opportunities that already exist. This week we want to focus on you DISCOVERING an opportunity. It’s like shopping.

Catch Up Here – The Anatomy of Opportunity #2 – Fix One , The Anatomy of Opportunity #1 – Grow One

Discovering amazing opportunities requires a mindset shift. It’s simple but not easy. Ready? 

Focus the majority of your energy on becoming READY for an opportunity vs. LOOKING for it. Time and again, I have found that opportunities seem to “find” those who have already done the work to receive them. 

But what do we WANT to do?

Go hunt them down of course! Beat the bushes. Ask all your friends. Post like mad on social media. Drag through online job sites with a fine tooth comb.

All of our focus in on the FINDING. What we aren’t paying attention to is our ability to BUY. To close the deal. To say “Yes”. Put that deal in our back seat and drive home with it.

Are You Able to Act Right NOW?

We’ll use shopping as our metaphor (just as we used antiquing last week to symbolize taking an idea and restoring it/fixing it up).

Let’s assume that you just walked into “Fanciest Store That Pops Into Your Head” and you see…THAT dress. Color? Your favorite. The style makes you look like Marilyn Monroe even if you don’t like her. It is a $1,800 dress. It is on sale for $____, some number that is more than you can easily pay but is a ridiculously good deal.

Are you able to act right NOW? And feel free to substitute a coveted domain name, real property or even my year long private coaching as the object of desire. Could you grab it up right now, if the once in the lifetime deal was here?Are you able to act right NOW? And feel free to substitute a coveted domain name, real property or even my year long private coaching as the object of desire. Could you grab it up right now, if the once in the lifetime deal was here?

To shop well, you need to have yourself together BEFORE you go. Do you have time to try things on? Do you have patience to keep looking for the best deal, the best fit? Did you set aside a budget for what you need and a reserve in case the dream opportunity pops up? 

Do your due diligence and budgeting now, before you go looking for your next opportunity. Get yourself ready to receive (yep, big old spiritual precedent for that one called expectation!).

An Opportunity Lost

I was just speaking at conference with royalty and millionaires (it was epic!). One of the most wealthy men there was one of America’s top business coaches (who had spent $30K on a private plane to make the meeting). He made an offer to someone who should have said YES instantly and then gone in the bathroom, called her whole family & took out a loan to make it happen. She said she wasn’t “ready.” (aka She said NO!)

I spoke up and offered to COACH HER INTO READINESS FOR FREE (read that again!) and…she said no to me too! Very politely. She had come there shopping for opportunity and when she found it, on double clearance, in her size she couldn’t buy it because she wasn’t ready.

The opportunity was READY. And the window for opportunities is typically narrow. She said no and the millionaire moved on.  If the opportunity will sit still and wait on you, it is weaker than you think.

I love dating analogies because we all get them. How long can you leave the perfect man to wait on you?  How long will he sit, single, while you think it over and debate it. How long before your competition spots him and makes him a better offer than you?

If you discovered your big opportunity TOMORROW, what will you wish you already had DONE TODAY?

Go do that now. Prepare yourself to discover what you want.

In Joy,

These first two weeks in The Anatomy of Opportunity are about creating the opportunity yourself.  This week we are going to dig for your opportunity!

Let’s go Antiquing 🙂

Last week’s post – The Anatomy of Opportunity #1- Grow It

There is gold everywhere, unfortunately it’s buried!

Whether or not you like to go hunt through antique malls and auctions (I do!), you know that deals can be had there.

As a general rule, the “rougher” the state of your find, the better the pricing. If you like antiques and have a big budget, then you shop for them in high end stores where there IS NO DUST.

They found the piece. Shipped it. Cleaned it. REPAIRED IT and have marked it up. They created the opportunity by their work. If you want an path to opportunity and are willing to put in your own elbow grease, you can also get a great deal.

For instance, there are businesses with good products that are selling to the WRONG market.  There are people who have huge followings and nothing valuable to sell. There are people with a market and product and no time to do the follow up to make even MORE sales. Find them.

Those are opportunities for you. They are covered in dirt and the paint is flaking off. But if you can look past that, you can get in there and repair something and create your big break.

Stop Looking for Low Hanging Fruit!

If you could really get rich easily, do you think they’d sell you the secret for $19.97?! Of course not! Those things ARE a path to riches, just riches for the person who is selling the “shiny, red easy button to success” product.

If you look around for something that will take WORK, FOCUS, DRIVE, RISK and INVESTMENT there will be no line of people in front of you.

Barriers to Entry is a GREAT THING

Your opportunity will not look like a diamond ring on the ground, so stop looking for that!

Your opportunity will not look like a diamond ring on the ground, so stop looking for that!

What problems do I have/see that annoy me so much, I’d pay to have them solved? Can I create that solution? Can I FIND that solution and introduce it to someone else?

What do I do easily, my superpower, that other people struggle with? How can I get someone to pay me to do that?

What are the last 3 opportunities I’ve seen that failed? Why? Could they be repaired and relaunched?

What the “Rocky” Movie Teaches Us

The very famous Rocky movie series, a rags to riches boxing movie, was written by Sylvester Stallone. He was rejected over 1000 times trying to sell the script because he insisted he be the actor and no one wanted him! He kept digging. He did the freakin’ hard work.

Read Rocky’s inspiring story here. The Rocky movies have now grossed 1.4 Billion. Kinda worth the hustle! 

He wanted to become a successful actor. He planted a seed (wrote his script) and then dug through the dirt until he found a studio that would give him his opportunity. He created his opportunity.

This is where it is also good to have a like minded group or mastermind (yep, I do those, Ask me.) You can get help spotting a rusty opportunity you can polish up. You can also pick up someone’s old junky idea and repair it. Fix it up! 

It is a very good exercise to keep asking, how can I improve this?

What new opportunity can YOU create by repairing & restoring an old idea?

In Joy,

You probably heard the Thomas A. Edison quote:

Opportunity is most often missed because it shows up in overalls and looks like work.

This month, in The Anatomy of Opportunity, I’m going to uncover 4 different ways for you to receive opportunity into your life.  Life can have a lot less struggle in it for you.

Let’s dive in and find some better opportunities!

People come to me and say “if only I just had better opportunities!”

You may believe that if you have better opportunities you would then have better results. This is unfortunately not true. I’ve watched. When most people finally get a really good opportunity – they can’t see it, don’t act on it or fall short in effort.

By teaching you HOW an opportunity arrives and how it behaves, you have better chance at grabbing and holding onto yours. 

This week we’re talking about what most people view as the hardest way to receive opportunity – but is also one of the surest ways to get it -you grow it your freakin’ self!

If you plant the seed of your future opportunity, you have one huge advantage, you can nurture it!

Think of it. You know where IT is. You know what IT needs. The energy you’re willing to give IT should determine how quickly and easily it grows.

Plant A Seed, Now!

OK, let’s assume that you agree to “start from scratch”, I know your next question. Tanya, how do I plant my seed of opportunity?

There are two general things to consider when you are setting out to grow your own opportunity: protecting it and feeding it, just like planting a seed.

Imagine someone gave you a single seed to one of the world’s rarest flowers. The blooms on the flower sell for $10-$25,000 each. NOW you’re pretty focused, right? What would you do?

(Not totally making this stuff up! #3 on this list of world’s most expensive flowers is a $200,000 orchid)

1. You would research to determine what the optimum growing conditions are for your treasured seed.
2. You would begin to collect resources needed to safeguard and provide those optimum growing conditions.
3. You would consult with available experts to ensure all your bases are covered.
4. Only then would you step into motion to execute and plant that seed.

So you Research, Resource, Consult and only then Execute. 

Research

When you’re doing your research, you are not only looking for what you should do. You are looking for concrete examples of what you should not do. Often these cautionary tales are even more valuable than the “how to do it” information.

Mistake to Avoid?

Launching your idea (planting your seed) immediately out of excitement.

Collect Your Resources:

Your research should’ve told you what you need to get your idea going. During your research, you’ll also find information about what the seed will need once it’s blooming. You do not need to acquire blooming resources just to plant the seed.

Mistake to Avoid?

Don’t run out and try to acquire all of the resources needed for the project’s entire life-cycle. That will either stretch your budget or delay you while you spend time performing steps unnecessary for the near future. 

Consult:

Make sure you’re talking to people who have already done something! The knowledge of that person combined with the mistakes they’ve made, can keep you from repeating those same errors. Coaches are short cuts.

Mistake to Avoid?

Be willing to buy good advice. Talking to the right people can save you years of time, thousands of dollars and prevent the potential loss of your opportunity. 

Execution:

If you do well on the first three steps, actually planting your seed (launching your idea) is no longer the hardest step of the four. You plant knowing what to do.

Mistakes to Avoid?

To launch immediately. To execute soon as you get the idea. To mistake being busy for being productive or effective. Plant your seed well.

The surest way to get your big opportunity is to create it and nurture it. We’ll talk all this month about different ways to receive your opportunity.  Do not be afraid to do this one. It will feel slow until it reaches the tipping point where it will all happen very quickly.

Even if you have other, faster opportunities ALWAYS be planting & growing a seed. In the future, it’s birth will bless you with fruit and you’ll be glad you did the work.

What are YOU growing for your future right now?

(My Hand Made Tire Planters, everything pictured outside the periwinkle tire started from SEEDS)

In Joy,

Have you been applying the 4G Guide to Getting Going? Let’s get you UNSTUCK. This is our last week, so I saved the biggest leverage for last. 

The 4th G is Get a GUIDE. (Yep. I’m biased.)

Third G- Check Your GROUP, Second G – Check Your GRIP First G – Check Your GROUND.

The easiest way to understand this is to think of your last road trip. On a road trip there are two very important people, the driver and the NAVIGATOR.

If you’ve ever driven a long way with a great navigator you know that it is soo much easier to drive with experienced help!

I love long roadtrips and I’m a great navigator 🙂

Navigators free you up from:

1. Watching the speed limit
2. Watching for cops 
3. Watching your gas level
4. Calculating ETAs
5. Locating Food and Rest Stops
6. Planning the Route
7. Spotting Your Next Step, Turn by Turn
8. Troubleshooting ANYTHING that comes up while driving
9. Unwrapping, prepping and HANDLING your food & trash
10. Switching the Radio (remember hunting for the cassette tape that slid under your seat?!)

What Does That Do For You?

Look at the list: you are given SAFETY (physically protected), SUPPLY (all things you need), SECURITY (freed from emotional worry & constant watching) and SATISFACTION (your wants are a prioritized – driver always picks the music!). 

Why would you set out to go somewhere you haven’t been WITHOUT a good navigator if you can get one?? How often do you use the navigation function on your phone now that you have it? That used to be my Rand McNally dog-eared, grape pop spilled road atlas, long since retired.

Having a GUIDE is not a luxury anymore.

Navigators Free You Up & GUIDE You There Faster and Safer

A navigator is your mentor. Your coach. Your guide. Your Liege Lord, whatever you want to call them. 

If you look at those “roadtrip” benefits – Safety, Supply, Security & Satisfaction – isn’t that just what you want on your way to your goal? Your dream? Notice that navigators PREVENT STRUGGLE.

All high achievers have Guides to NAVIGATE them around themselves first and obstacles second to reach their good. (Yes, ALL.)

Whatever you are doing, you can do it easier, faster, safer, happier, more clearly with LESS struggle by following a guide.

Stuck or Stalled? Get Your GUIDE Now. Ask Me How I Can Help

In Joy,

No discussion of how to get yourself out of a stuck place in your life could be complete without talking about just who you surround yourself with.

The 4G Guide to Getting Going looked first to your GROUND, then your GRIP and today we need to check on your GROUP.

Last week, was the Second G – Check Your GRIP. Missed the first one? First G – Check Your GROUND.

I was on a coaching call with an Alpha today and we had a breakthrough – a big one. She just realized money is no longer her TOP priority. Yeah…let’s say that again. Money is NO LONGER her #1 priority.

(Hint: Coaching works.)

She has a job interview Friday, with a 20% pay increase possible. One of her first thoughts was, what will my friends say if I turn down a 20% pay increase in my 6 figure salary??

Here is what I told her:

1) If they freak out, it’s because money is their primary focus and goal and they can’t imagine making a decision without that being the most important factor – is that who you need to be talking to?

2) People who “get it”, would ask: what was missing from the job that was more important than more money?

Money is a BAD GOAL (read or re-read that puppy!).

Your friends and family can be unintentionally stabbing you in the back by applying THEIR priorities to your decisions. They will filter your choices through THEIR experiences, fears and doubts.

Their advice will always contain their point of view.

Seven years ago, I closed my law firm and left the multi-six figure income I’d built (and my half million dollar home…I do admit to missing the double convection ovens and private library) because I was really unhappy.

About 2 years ago my best friend admitted that she thought I was absolutely INSANE at the time. She said she couldn’t let herself think about what I’d done to start my whole life over, because it terrified her.  She couldn’t imagine walking away from what I’d built. She was loving enough to keep her fears away from me but most people won’t or can’t do that.

Your Group is Either Hurting You or Helping You – Which Is It?

Repeat after me: There is no NEUTRAL. There IS NO NEUTRAL.

Neutral is the lie we tell ourselves when we know it’s kind of negative but we don’t want to do anything about it yet.

And yes, there are people that you can’t get away from. A neighbor. A sibling. A boss. So what do you do in those cases?

You need to have enough positive coming in to double cover their negative. You’ve probably heard the formula for giving negative feedback? Say something positive, then the bad thing, then something positive. If you keep the ratio 2 to 1, positive to negative, people are okay.

That applies to you too!

Look around and count how many people you have that are positive and how many negative. If you think they are neutral, count them as negative. If someone really is just existing and not adding to your life but taking your attention, that’s negative!

Your goal is to make sure you have 2 or even more positive people for every negative one.

Are ALL Positive People the Same? 

Nope. It is best to have some who have the same ambitions as you. They will support you differently than the positive people who live on the couch.

And it is good to have someone who is ahead of you, for you to model their energy and attitudes. Mostly, you can’t pull this off on your own. That really is reason that group coaching works so well. You get both at the same time.

The group you came from gave you certain templates that you follow without noticing it. You want to get into a group that is learning to CHANGE their templates to what they want them to be. Conscious creation. This kind of group will PUSH you out of a stall, rather than PULL you into one. 

Beware! There are some positive people that are actually negative. Because they are all talk and no action.

(Ok, so that Elvis song popped into my head: …a little less conversation, a little more action please!)

In Joy,

I am bouncing like a Tigger to invite my Alphas to come play with me and other women you want to be like! Women empowering women!

I was invited to teach at “The Women Empowerment Project“ to share how I guide women to feel more powerful. The host, Elle, is my soulmate (not the “touch you” kind). We went OFF SCRIPT. You want to listen in! 

My White “Twin” and I Are Waiting For You!

First, it’s FREE, which is good.  Second, it’s hosted by Elle Russ, a writer, actor, and best-selling author of The Paleo Thyroid Solution. She is the badass host of the Holy Grail kind of popular Primal Blueprint Podcast and a certified Primal Health Coach.

Want to know the sexy part? For YEARS I have joked with men that “I don’t come in white.” Ha! Darn Law of Attraction, no sense of humor because NOW I DO! (Seriously, we are referring men to each other! She sent me one already!!)

She is the gorgeous (natural!) blonde in the photo above with Pretty Woman hair! We are the same age and she is super smart and funny (former comedienne!). Best of all, she is AUTHENTIC. She is allowing no BS in her event.

She is crazily fit (I could do much better there). Oddly, she is barely over 5ft tall and Jewish – close enough Universe!! I now come in “small” too LOL!

Elle is a white ME in a different field! So she’s my new girl crush.

Rise Up. Kick ASS. Click Here To Be Better NOW.

What else is in it for you? The Women’s Empowerment Project has empowering coaches, health experts and authors covering:

• Health
• Law of attraction
• Bringing more “soul” into your relationships
• Healing from postpartum depression
• Money manifestation
• Sexual healing
• Women’s hormonal health
• Getting in touch with your menstruation
• and more!

Sign up right the hell now at www.RiseUpKickAss.com to get your hands on inspiring, non fluffy video interviews.

In Joy,