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Fearless Focus Coaching / Health & Wellbeing (Page 13)

[Joy] Let’s Go Fly a Kite! (No, really…pics inside)

04

Aug

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

Let’s Go Fly a Kite!

Last year I used my birthday to teach you about microtrips and mini-adventures. So many of you don’t have extra joy in your life because you are “saving” it all up to get it from some HUGE thing.

Alpha, life is 85% small wins 🙂
 

 

This year my best friend learned that I had never flown a kite! I think she was flabbergasted. The woman actually owns a designated and LABELED “Kites bag” in her garage. (Legacy of being a single mom to 3 children I think…)

So after grilling me a monster steak and veggies she gave me a beautiful Kite! She’d scouted out God’s most perfect kite flying location at Berry College in Rome, GA an hour and half away.

When was the last time you let yourself grin like a child, clap your hands in glee and jump up and down in excitement? It’s GOOD for you.

And before you ask, yes, I sang the Mary Poppins “Let’s Go Fly A Kite” song at least 4 times.

My kite is named Slyvester and he is awesome. Light and agile, he flew on the slightest breeze.​​​​​


He even posed so I could get this selfie (my first Kite Flying Selfies!)

As we get older, we realize joy is in the experience – not the gift, not the money. It’s the time and the memory and the love wrapped around something you did.

Start giving whoever you love experiences. Oh, that includes YOU.

What new, novel or silly experience can you give yourself this month?

We wrapped up our day by hitting an Antiques Auction in the middle of nowhere. I LOVE THEM! I bought things that match my new Industrial metal and wood décor. My newest “old” find?
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1939 RCA Victor K50 Radio. Sold brand new for $44.50 -that’s $789.89 in today’s money. Remember, a great radio WAS the family big screen tv!!
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My price? $20!
 

My radio introduced electronic tuning. You know how you push a button and your station pops on? That was born with my radio! 5 of her (she has been christened “Myrtle”) buttons are gone but 3 knobs are there. And I will find her pieces.
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Now for the cool part. Myrtle is just shy of 80 years old. I felt a odd urge to bid on her just to get her case and my heart whispered “we could probably learn to repair her.” After buying, I saw all her glass resistors and tubes looked intact.
 


Her high end features? You could play records OR television through her auxiliary port (think HDMI ports in TV’s folks) AND she has an advanced internal loop antennae (bottom left).

Myrtle WORKS! Plugged in, light came on and turned a knob and got to sing along with “Starving”. 

80 years, no back, no bottom, all dust, moved how many times to find her way to my new living room?!?

The joy of the moment that I heard NEW music coming out of a Pre-World War II radio! 

A radio that was created decades before Civil Rights got momentum and only 31 years after the first Ford Model T. In 1939 a brand new nice car was about $700.

And she works. Myrtle’s HOME.

Follow your heart Alphas. It leads the most amazing places…

Need help? Ask me now.


P.S.  Joy flows from the inside OUT. Create a channel for yours to reach the surface! I’ve discovered that building furniture is my “art”. I never knew what my art was before and know I’ve found it in my 40’s! It taps me into my JOY.

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Joy] Let’s Go Fly a kite! (No really…pics inside)Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Commitment] Fear Coasting, NOT Failing…

28

Jul

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

Fear Coasting, NOT Failing…

There are considerable dangers to going “all in” for your dreams or for yourself. The danger is you get really tired, spend money or look foolish and…that’s it. That’s all.

We are more afraid of going all in for a dream and failing than afraid of ‘coasting’ through life.  

We don’t consider weak efforts a failure and inherently dangerous.
 
Weak effort used to mean your family starved to death. As things have gotten safer, we’ve gotten softer.

Lots of Native American tribes had ritual rites of passage for their young men that required them to go all in. Tests of strength and discipline and courage.  Stories I’ve heard of Braves running miles and miles holding a mouth full of water and spitting it out at the end. 

We not only do not require our children and young people to push themselves to a breaking point, we actively discourage it. The world has grown afraid of extreme effort (and yet it’s all we want on tv and from our millionaire sports heroes). What happened to “I went to the Danger Zone??”

I remember in high school my cross country coach (the distance for girls was 2.1 miles) told us we weren’t really trying unless we collapsed or threw up at the finish.  We trained on a ski slope. We’d run laps up-and-down the slope off-season and when he blew the whistle, wherever you were, you had to sprint. Today? He’d be sued for pushing us that hard. 

Somehow, somewhere along the way, giving it everything you had became “Just do your best honey.” And do your best somehow doesn’t actually mean do the very best you’re capable of doing anymore. 

It is way more likely if you hear someone say “I did my best” they are defending an average to mediocre performance and that phrase shields them from further attack or questioning. 

The truth is I’d never gone all in and given something everything I had until just a few years ago, as I was building my very first global Summit (The Turning Point Summit).
 
I’d gone traveling around the world for a month to Australia and China leaving myself with 21 days to do what I needed three months to do. And…I did it. 

And oh how it cost me! I put sleep on the back burner and I focused. I didn’t accept no for an answer from anyone else and most importantly not from myself. 

During my second summit, I recall going to bed at 2 AM and waking up at 6 AM to work to days in a row. Now I know I have that discipline in me!

One of the biggest things about pushing yourself to the wall is that you realize that you can go so much further than your mind comfortably let you think you could.  

Just like most cars are designed to still have gas in them even though the gauge shows empty, you can go well after you think you’re empty. 

Pushing yourself to your breaking point is good for you when it is DONE FOR YOU (not other folks). Done for others it’s rescuing or martyrdom.

While I was building my shelves, I was up till 2 AM two nights in a row, working. I pushed myself to hit my self-imposed deadline to have shelves for my birthday. The result is better than just beautiful furniture that’s really more art to me. It gave bone deep self-love and self-confidence in ways I can’t begin to describe. 


Are you ready to stop screwing around and create the life you keep watching other women have? Coaching with me is an ALL IN SPORT.  I’ve got the time to build your dream alongside of you, if you’ve got the guts to go all in on it NOW. 


 

P.S. Don’t die having never felt the glory of burning your candle at both ends plus the middle for however long it takes to reach your goal. 


Have you gone all in on something in your life? What was it? How long ago was it? Tell me what you fought for with everything you had…

P.P.S. It’s 2am now and I’m building summit 3, the Academy for Alphas! Worth it.

 

​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Commitment] Fear Coasting, NOT Failing…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Self-Love] When You Know What You Want…

21

Jul

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

 
When You Know What You Want…

When you know what you want you trust your choices
You don’t fall into obeying crazy inner voices
When you know what you want, you tell the truth
And you stop looking outside of yourself for proof

When you know what you want you can see what you must do
And you don’t run away like you always used to
When you know what you want the Universe can help you
And you’ll find those old excuses are no longer true

When you know what you want Alpha, saying No is easier
You don’t need to make EVERYONE happy by being a pleaser
When you know what you want the costs just don’t seem as high
And there is no doubt at all that whatever it takes, you’ll try

When you begin to know what you want, you begin to feel free
Alphas, protect your right to choose what you want and who you’ll be
When you begin to know what you want, dreams become blueprints
And you can smile as you pick your side and step off that damn fence

When you know what you want, your clarity creates
When you know what you want, Alpha don’t hesitate
Ask for it. Seek for it. Fight for it and more.
Stand your ground. Expose your heart and open up your doors.

Do the hardest thing that we as Alpha women can possibly do…
Surrender and let someone else GIVE back… to you.

7-20-2017


 

 

​P.S.  Soul Mate Update (love how that rhymes!) he is one of my soul mates (we have lots of them) and he is not ready. Note to self, if a man seems like James Bond remember that in the end, Bond NEVER stays with his woman!


LOL. I called off the date last minute…got fantastic lessons and HUGE self-love out of it. I’ll teach you all about it in next Wednesday’s Focus Mag – the training will be on Soul Mates! And it will be JUICY!! This is way too much to squeeze into a single post 🙂 And I’ll tell you why I am happier than I was before I met him and why I sent him off with a blessing.

P.P.S. If you are only pretending to want something, you will be terrified when & if it arrives and will run or drive it away. The truth is people are AFRAID of their highest good 🙁

 

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Self-Love] When You Know What You Want…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Purpose] Why Aren’t You Using Your Super Power

14

Jul

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

Why Aren’t You Using Your Super Power?!?

 

Old Me? Nope. Guilty as charged. Just had this discussion with 4 different Alphas.
 

There is something that you were born to do Alpha.

You were given a special gift that enables you to do your “thing” way better than anyone else – THAT is your SuperPower.

Problem? Alphas are accustomed to struggle. We like it, we RESPECT it and we EXPECT it. We fight our struggle to gain control, which feels good.

But what happens when there IS no struggle? No fight? Uh-oh.

You tend to disrespect and ABANDON your SuperPower because it feels too easy and not “important” enough. You want to go chase the shiny, red candy-like thing over there that’s harder.

Example? I was a practicing Divorce Lawyer for around 15 years. I was good. REALLY good. During my divorce cases I…coached! I took lives and businesses apart and then put them back together. I moved blocks – legal ones, financial ones, emotional and spiritual ones. That was my SuperPower but it was part of the “package” of my law practice, which I began to hate. (Never occurred to me to separate out what I loved!)

I did with most Alphas do – I threw the baby out with the bathwater!

I stopped doing my SuperPower because I associated my SuperPower with the practice of law, which I’d begun to hate. Many Alphas experience your super power for the first time inside a job or career path that’s not right for you.

We then throw away our SuperPower when we throw away the job or “package” it’s attached to.

Here’s a radical thought for you – God is not wasteful.

Meaning, if God gave you a SuperPower, it is because you are supposed to use it! It is a big, fat giant hint as to what you’re supposed to be doing. And when you use your SuperPower in whatever you’re doing, you WILL get more help and more assistance and your life will work easier.

#1 Find your SuperPower.

#2 Use your SuperPower in your work.

I now realize that my SuperPower of spotting patterns, removing blocks and seeing the truth has been consistent my whole life (in engineering, law & now coaching).

It just took me awhile to figure out how to package it for my work and my livelihood (by “awhile” I mean 20 years!)

Want to know what your SuperPower is NOW? Want to know how to use your SuperPower to make money? Ask me, I’ll show you Alpha. 
  
 

 

 

​P.S. The Alpha Mate that found me is amazing so far! First date Saturday 🙂 I’m excited to learn his SuperPower. He has a clear gift at spotting opportunities others don’t see and acting on them – he’s using that skill to see immediately in me what others can’t see! (Fun Fact: Alpha Males are as impatient as us!)

 

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

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[Lessons] 10 Lessons from Building Birthday Furniture

07

Jul

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

10 Lessons from Building Birthday Furniture​​​​​​​…

 

 

  1. Hold the final destination, not the path.
  2. Being flexible is being happy.
  3. Sometimes you need to work long hours, straight through.
  4. Periodically, do HUGE ass things just for yourself.
  5. Don’t panic when you notice you are exhausted, it happens.
  6. Want what you freaking WANT.
  7. Do the piece you CAN do now & figure out the piece you can’t when you get there.
  8. Ask for help and be prepared to decline advice.
  9. Set an impossible timeline and you’ll finish sooner than if you set a “reasonable” one.
  10. Dance while you work, as much as possible! (I did it with power tools, on a porch, in the rain!)

 


My shelves are a VISIBLE reminder of my WORTH.

A visible reminder of what I can make out of NOTHING, what I can overcome to reach a goal and the quality I want around me.
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What do you have in your life that anchors your self-love like this?
 
 

 

 

 

​P.S I would have finished anchoring the shelves to the walls and doing the final coats of lacquer today but my Alpha Mate may have found me on my BIRTHDAY! Apparently, our first call needed to be 3+ hours (from the UK where he’d gone for business –he got off the line at near 2 am for him).

I’m EXCITED. I gave him my “shelf time” and he prayed over us = Tanya melted.
For those of you who really understand how well the Universe works, I turned down 3 different friends trying to take me out to dinner on my birthday. It felt like I should “be home” working…if I had gone to dinner I’d have not seen his email or had THAT CALL ON MY BIRTHDAY. We are divinely protected when we can listen and surrender our “own” plans!

 

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Lessons] 10 Lessons from Building Birthday Furniture Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Photos] My Birthday “Building” Week

05

Jul

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

How I Built My a Self-Love by Putting in a Crazy Amount of Time, Sweat and Money…

 

Industrial Shelves. Suddenly I NEED them. NOW. Much like I needed the cabinet space in the kitchen and the new light…my heart wanted it.  So, I said….


Let my Birthday Building Week COMMENCE!!!


Day #1


2 x 12″ x 16′ Select Pine lumber for cutting and staining my future shelves!

 
64 board feet of lumber + One Volvo already carrying almost 60 ft Black Iron Pipe + Tanya’s Mad Packing Skills = Fits!
Day #2  Racing the rain to sand and Pre-Stain (prep)
Tackling the 6.5′ boards!
God heard my request and the rain WAITED for me!!! All 64 ft sanded and stained on the bottom and back edge.
 
Wine in fridge. Dehydration and Moscato…Yes. That works. I meant to eat one of my sweet potato brownies and forgot!



Rain held off long enough to do them ALL and then the “wet carry” ( don’t ask).


Ha! Girl over matter!


Done! (with Grueling Day #2)


128 linear feet sanded, primed, dried, flipped and stained! Very grateful for unexpected rain reprieve (God giving me presents early!). If anybody likes to get high off of noxious fumes-you missed sitting in my office!


 

 

Day #3 Indoor Lacquering is a SPORT!!
 

It’s also pipe cleaning day! I’ll update that later- the best solvent in the Universe is sold at Dollar Tree!!


60 ft of CLEANED Black Steel Pipe – A Miracle courtesy of elbow grease + LA Totally Awesome Cleaner. All wood done on the BOTTOM.


Tomorrow I  begin “demolition”

 

Day #4

 

Time to prep my spaces (empty and shift 5 bookcases and remove 18 pieces of art from the walls…)


Part Two is Measuring, finding studs (don’t laugh!) and boring a lot of holes in my beautiful dark wood shelves. May the Force be with Me! I declare my independence from my old look and Feel of my home today.


​​​​​​​Dream? Work through entire day to full install and lacquer!

Demo Done!!! Empty space – bare walls. (House destroyed!)

Took one break to help a friend spend $200 at Dollar Tree getting toys for an orphanage in Cuba!  —Meanwhile…back the ranch…
 

Real MacGuyvering underway…countering challenges as they arise – using my brain! Wrong bit size meant emergency Lowe’s run… FYI- a 3/4 inch pipe requires a 1 1/8 inch spade bit. Turned my porch into “workshop” in the rain.

It is 1:23 am. I have conquered MANY untold things today and I kept going until I at least got the smaller bookcase assembled.
 

It is not level. It is not anchored and I am in love with it anyway! 
 

Tomorrow (the 6th) is my birthday and I hope to have my shelves in place for it. I’ll do as much as I can. I am worth ALL of this and more!  
 
Love you all – hope you enjoyed the photo blog today 🙂
HGTV (Happy Girl TV)

 

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

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[Self-Love] Food is Love…

30

Jun

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

Food is Love

 


I texted my coach a photo of a tray of pork sausage fresh from the oven with the word “Happiness”. She replied food is love. 


When I woke up this morning I realized a deeper meaning to that.


Food is one of the easiest measures of your own self love. 



Every since I put safeguards in place to protect my KITCHEN, my own self-love is even better, because I’m COOKING. 
What does it take to cook each meal? (7 Ingredients of Self-Love)
  1. Planning 
  2. Making time
  3. Paying attention
  4. Investing in the ingredients
  5. Maintaining your space
  6. Timely prep work
  7. Cleaning up any messes

How am I eating these meals?
Not while working
Not while distracted
Mindfully and fully present

Add all those together and you have how you care for your greatest love-you!

To begin to improve your self love, start with your food. I recommend a drastic, jumpstart (cold turkey 3-7 days) at the beginning to break the sugar, carb and processed food convenience addictions. 

Do you even notice hunger evolving or are you so busy with the rest of your life that you don’t realize you’re hungry until you’re starving? Hint: That’s the same way you treat those that you love – you don’t realize there’s a problem until it’s broken because you’re not paying enough attention.

When your meals don’t come from a package, you have to pay attention to when you begin to get hungry because that’s when you need to beginto preparing your food. 
 
 Take a look at how you’ve fed yourself this past month. Do you consistently have the 7 ingredients of Self-Love?

If you are ready to cook up a better life and need a Sous Chef, let me know!
 

​P.S I’ve been cooking up a storm as they say and I feel fantastic and very loved…by me (and several of you!) Even lost weight! And I left off the photo of my killer Sweet Potato Brownies!! Still delicious even after they were frozen 3 weeks! 

 

 

​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Self-Love] Food is Love… Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

When You Least Expect It…

23

Jun

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

When You Least Expect It…

 

Just when I had my post all planned out, I got a call from my best friend. She is 58, silver-haired and about 20 pounds overweight (her own words). OK, why am I telling you this?

Because she just got asked out by an attractive 38-year-old man. 

Ohh, so now you’re listening right?!?

I want to tell you the story because I want to show you the elements of the things I teach working in real life.

We are both self-employed and find ourselves working from home all the time. So we’ve made an effort to have workdays outside of the home. Her normal workday to do this is a Friday – but this week she had to switch it last minute to Thursday. She’s at the Starbucks working happily.

Eventually all that tea catches up to her and having to go to the restroom, she does what we all do – she turns to the closest person and says “Can you watch my stuff?”

Returning, happy and grateful she asks him what he’s working on. This sparks up a conversation.

Now here’s where the story gets awesome!

My best friend, who is white, is now looking at this 38-year-old attractive black man thinking… Holy cow Tanya needs to meet him! (I’ll be 44 on July 6th).

He’s a quality man, well-spoken and intelligent. In the tradition of every great best friend – she begins trying to sell this man… ON ME!
 

She shows him a picture of me on her phone. She even pulled up my website Fearless Focus Coaching (if you haven’t seen in a while you should check it out, it’s new and awesome) which has giant pro picture of me. He’s forced to agree that I’m a very attractive woman.

She tells him, earnestly and honestly what a great woman I am and that I (Tanya) deserve a great mate. 

Finally, he asks her “What about you?”

Because she is completely not trying to sell herself or make anything happen – she tells him honestly what she’s looking for, her deal breakers and what makes her happy.

And… He asked her if she would go out with him!!!

It had never occurred to her because she’s older and silver haired and probably because she’s white too.

Now-watch how this happened on energetic level:
  • She was being totally loving as she spoke about me
  • She was showing feminine generosity and kindness
  • She was completely relaxed and dressed in a hoodie with holes in it
  • She enjoyed the conversation and wasn’t trying to make anything happen (no Alpha pushing/engineering)

In short, she was being herself – loving, kind, funny, generous and wicked smart.

And…………….He LIKED it. 

 

 

This is why women meet men when they’re not looking and this is how it works. When your guard is down and you least expect it, you’re actually being your true self, which is very attractive. You’re relaxed so whoever you’re with is relaxed. You’re happy, so it’s easy for him to be happy to.

We don’t know where it will go but this is a hell of a story! And I had to share it with you to show you that the people who love you the most, will love you just as you are and that is the best way to attract them is by doing the work to love yourself enough so that you can just be as you really are, wherever you are. 

Remember what I just told you last week, Alphas most want to be chosen and loved just as they are.

 

 

 

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P.S. She had also JUST reached the place where she’d stopped worrying “where is he?” and felt peaceful in her own life. No. Not a coincidence. This guy doesn’t have to be her mate. He has just shown her that her inner beauty is more important than the body she had 30 years ago. We’d been working on accepting this truth! Need my help to do that?

P.P. S. Their date is Sunday!!

 

 

​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

When You Least Expect It… Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

I Just Found a Fatal Flaw in Traditional Marriage! (Apologies in Advance…)

16

Jun

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

I Just Found a Fatal Flaw in Traditional Marriage! (Apologies in Advance…)

You know that moment when you realize something was so obvious and simple that it could have been seen ALL ALONG and you just missed it?!? Yep. Here we go.

In this week’s Training Post (Anatomy of An Alpha, Part 2) I taught you about CHOICE and how it is an Alpha’s most fought for privilege because it is necessary for FREEDOM.

Ok, so you buy that CHOICE is vital, what does that have to do with marriage? EVERYTHING.

I have discovered that CHOICE EXPIRES.

 

We say “I Do” and promise forever but you know what? You cannot. Choice EXPIRES. A single choice made long ago has a shelf life. It has to be CONSCIOUSLY RENEWED, REDONE and PICKED ALL OVER AGAIN.

And when we DON’T pick again, 4 bad things automatically begin happening:

1) We subconsciously begin resenting the deal (because usually the deal has shifted and we DID NOT SIGN UP for the current stuff)

2) Everyone “relaxes” and starts slacking off because there is no accountability because no one is counting anymore!

3) It teaches Alphas (who are ALREADY full of trust issues) that commitment is PUNISHED and

4) It encourages Alphas to lie to themselves about how their life is going to avoid having to undo very old and now messy choices.

Continual Choice Prevents Slacking.
(And of course this is true in your business too…)

It’s human nature. You work to get attractive and sexy and awesome and then your mate picks you and then…? You. Slack. Off. You gain weight, drop your interest level in bed and put the kids, car repairs, bills, work and even lawn cutting ahead of your man.

You slack off because there’s never another “examination”. If you stayed tuned into the idea that those who CHOSE you can and will UNCHOSE you if you fall too far below the starting mark, you would commit yourself to the continuing excellence that comes from still needing to “qualify.”

Oh doesn’t that just FEEL dirty! The idea of needing to re-qualify to keep your mate. But…wait for it…that IS the way it is, we just all ignore it. Remember, you can only manage what you measure and you aren’t measuring anymore!

Remember early dating? He starts to suck -> you leave! Your choice to go on date 1 did NOT insure he could get date 2 or 5.

 

Your marriage needs continual CHOICE. Keep choosing him and be the girl he chose or BETTER.

So here’s how it works (use your marriage or your clients):

  • Everybody works hard & gets somebody to pick you.
  • Time passes and because there is no checkpoint, no renewed choice, everyone slacks off.
  • Decay, neglect, abuse & assumptions enter over the years. 

The hardest question for any marriage – the question that most marriages fear is: If you were single & happy and met your mate right now and knew what you knew about him – would you marry him again?

Where that answer is No, the relationship is damaged and in need of immediate repair.

Here is what stops Alphas from answering that honestly (even inside your own head):

  1. The choice to undo what you have done would be cataclysmic, difficult and scary. 
  2. Choosing to admit things are NOT good makes you wrong – Alphas love being right.

To avoid being made wrong, your ego doesn’t let you invoke your right to choose freely and continuously and locks you into the original choice, regardless of current cost.

That causes abdication of your power and authority because without choice there is no power.  No choice or power? Hello Victim.

Trapped people can’t choose.

Alpha, you must ensure the right to continually choose in all decisions that are critical. This means you must periodically pull back from ALL big choices, look at them and say YES again. That includes your marriage, your kids, your company, healthy eating…all of it.

You need to recommit to stay engaged! You need this honest assessment to KEEP things from going off the rails to the point of no return.

(Hint: 15+ year divorce lawyer here telling you how to diffuse the ticking time bomb in your relationship that you didn’t know was there.)

 

 

 

Can you make the Alpha Oath of Choice?
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I, Alpha, commit to keeping myself worthy of always being chosen again. 
In work. In love. And In life. 

If you answered that “hard” question and hate me right now, my bad.

 

 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Choice] I Just Found a Fatal Flaw in Traditional Marriage! (Apologies in Advance…) Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Trust] Are You Married to Your Story?

09

Jun

Health & Wellbeing, Life
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

[Trust] Are You Married to Your Story?

It very late and God sent me to help a Canadian man that is in the middle of a Job-like biblical crisis. My head said, reschedule because after helping someone else, the call started at almost 10:30 pm.

But I could feel it. That calm certainty that I could change this man’s life in one call. God sent him, so I served. I hung in there and I’m so glad I did.

Yes, it’s late – crazily late right now but I showed him what caused him to fall from earning  6 figures to potential eviction on the 16th of this month.

 

The lessons I taught him may be valuable to an Alpha out there – so here they are:

1. If something STOPS working, stop using it.

He had tales of all of the complex affirmations and prayers he does every morning, left over from his steak and gravy days. THEY AREN’T WORKING and have been failing for 5 years but he wouldn’t let them go.

I don’t care WHOSE affirmation/process it is, be willing to let go of what no longer serves you.

2. You are no longer that amazing thing you did in the past, be in truth of where you are.

He was wrapped into the story of his degrees and accomplishments and last prize possession, the Mercedes, and how he can’t believe he’s submitted 140 resumes with no job.

If you are married to your story you are a victim. The Universe will teach you to leave that story behind like it’s a heavy rock one way or the other. The story is PRIDE or EXC– USE, either way, it’s blocking you from facing the truth right now.

How do you know if you are in victim energy? If no matter howsomeone tries to help you, you interrupt them to tell them you are RIGHT & their plan will never work because of …..insert story…

3. There is no perfect formula for getting help from God. If you are in distress, ask for help generally and being willing to let God do it God’s way (i.e. humility and no control).

When you are in trouble, you ask GENERALLY not SPECIFICALLY.

General is – I’m almost homeless and I need a home and to care for my elderly mom somehow. Specific is – I need this Mercedes that it took me 15 years to save for to help drive my Mom because they are so mechanically sound and another other car will break down.  See it?

Alpha, don’t tell God HOW to help you. He’s got it. I promise.

If your life is off course Alpha, stop telling the story that you are telling. Tell a new one.

 

 

 

 

P.S. I had to beat the crap out of this awesome guy to get him off that story. Now, he’s shifted and grateful. He’s writing a new story. Finally things can change for him. I ask that you send a prayer for his living situation to be as God wills it. 

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

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