Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

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Clutter Blocks Your New STUFF!

Everything has energy. Yes, yes. We know. Well give that a moments more thought.

If EVERYTHING has energy and is energy, what energy are you surrounding yourself with?

My family struggled and kept…well…everything. I came from lack and “not enough”.

The energy of physical clutter is stagnant, old, “not enough”, make do and shame. (Did you know there are 4 DIFFERENT kinds of clutter?)

What surrounds you is what SUPPORTS you. And when you get weak, THAT is the energy that guides you.

Here’s all the clutter from my storage I kept and moved from house to house for over 10 years! I JUST CLEARED IT!

When I tackle a big lesson and feel myself “go up” a spiritual notch. Do you know what I notice? I notice that my home begins to feel too dense, too heavy. Literally, I am lighter and I need to make IT lighter.

If you are trying to bring money, love, abundance and life INTO your life you MUST to get old, stuck in the past energy OUT of your life.

I’ve tried many ways to do that. I highly recommend Marie Kondo’s Book- The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It really changed my life.

I also recommend shopping through different tools to find one that works for you. It’s NOT one size fits all.

In my Self-Love Summit, I interview expert Maria Gracia from GetOrganizedNow.

Treasure Chest - Multiple Organizing Gifts Free

Get this right now to help you Organize – FREE!

She gave me her BADASS Clutter Busting Treasure Chest Gift Above to share! (She also taught me about the FOUR different kinds of clutter – huge!)

Get your FREE Clutter Killing Treasure Chest Gift Here from me!

And send it to your friends that have clutter issues too 🙂

Whatever you do – decide and do something. That clutter energy IS manifesting in your life more of what you already DON’T want.

Grab the gift and then tell me below what shows up for you!

[Time Strategy] How to P.U.S.H. & Get BIG Things Done Fast!

Apr

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How to P.U.S.H. & Get BIG Things Done Fast

Want to know how I get crazy amounts of work done without rushing?

You asked. I answered. Lots of you wrote me and asked me to share how I P.U.S.H.Thank you!

Last week I wrote about how Speed Doesn’t Kill but Rushing Does. I told you I created a way to get big things done that WORKS. I’m using it to build our next Self-Love Summit, a BIG thing! Here we go:

Plan the little things

Understand the WHY

Share the Goal

Hear Your Intuition

Materials you need:

Colored Index Cards

Some big thing to tackle that you need done but are resisting

Only Decision to make:

Your Time Frame to Get “It” Done

The majority of your work will be in the PLAN section and all of that is supported by the Understand, Share and Hear elements.

Those of you that wrote me and asked for P.L.A.N. I will individually email you the expanded version with more detail and stories on Saturday PLUS I am including a special surprise JUST for you! I needed more space to explain detail on Understanding the WHY. There are also two important (& freaky cool) Intuition examples that I really wanted to share and I don’t want to try to squish them into this already long post. 🙂

If you want the expanded version of How to P.L.A.N. for yourself- just hit REPLY and say “Send me PUSH” and I’ll email you the full version too – just a gift.

Here are the basics!

Materials you need:

Colored Index Cards (makes tasks look separate & less overwhelming vs. all white)

Some big thing to tackle that you need done but are avoiding

Decision to make:

Your Time Frame to Get “It” Done

The majority of your work will be in the PLAN section below and all of that is supported by the Understand, Share and Hear elements.

My time frame when I began was only 8 days because I wanted to go out of town over Easter Weekend to Charleston, South Carolina! Which I did!

Plan the Little Things – It gives you FOCUS

I told you that I’m working on my building the next summit. It’s a HUGE undertaking. At this moment there will be more than 20 – maybe 23 experts from all over the world (Dubai, Belgium, Romania, California, USA, Ireland etc). It’s a LOT to do. And missing any little thing can have big consequences.

If you let yourself keep staring at the SIZEof your task, you will either NEVER start or get stuck because you don’t have a clear path to the “next thing”.

#1 Write down every task that you can think of that you’ll need to do on a separate index card.

Do not try to judge what is written down. Write the little. Write the big. Write the maybe. You will notice that as ideas come to you and you write them down- you willthen think of 3 more things you need to do to complete the first card’s task. That’s perfect! Just write those on their own 3 cards. For instance, I had a card that said “Send Thank You Note to X” but guess what? I need to buy the card and I need tofind the mailing address. Those get added to cards. Those are part of planning the little things.

Once you feel “done” gather all of your cards and sort them. (Will you keep adding cards as you go for things you missed? ABSOLUTELY. Do not worry about that now. Just get into motion.)

#2 Sort the cards you have. Dump all your cards on the floor and just start grouping them together using one or all of sorting rules you pick below.

Sorting Rules: Sort by 1) Similarity of Task 2) Order they Need to Be Done (A must be done before B etc) 3) Urgency of the Task (You promised to do X by tomorrow)

I use ALL three!

Example: I needed to locate experts for my summit BEFORE I could invite experts BEFORE I could schedule an introduction call BEFORE I could set up their interview to teach on the Summit. I put those cards on the floor in order from left to right.

When I got to the inviting by email, I gathered all of cards that required “emailing” together so I did it in big blocks. Very mentally efficient. No task switching.

Urgency: You’ll see this when you are looking over your cards. Some are on fire now or shortly will be. I have several expert interviews I am still recording – those are now urgent. J

#3 Assign your groups or piles to a specific day.

I then divided up my groups to fill up each of my 8 days. This is not rocket science or even terribly precise. But it works!

When you are done, you will have rows of colored cards set out for each of the days you’ve got ahead you. Here are some days on my kitchen table!

CONGRATULATIONS!

You just have just given yourself a Template, a PLAN of action and now you can P.U.S.H! No more “what do I do now/next?” guesswork. PLUS you have a FINITE goal to work with instead of staring down a never ending task.

Each day you feel AMAZING when you’ve finished that day’s cards.

Give yourself a number score for how you did EVERY day on that day’s cards. Use a 1-10 scale where 10 is awesome. (You see I got 11’s and 12’s for days with really amazing effort). Write it somewhere BIG.

Here is another trick – I put a big check mark on each of the cards as I finish and pile ALL of those finished cards somewhere VERY visible (On my living room floor!)

Why? Seeing the DONE pile grow makes you feel fabulous. It gives you boost to keep going. We are wired for visual input and seeing our success made physical energetically helps keep us focused.

Again, looking at your cards makes an endless project seemFINITE. You feel like you are in control.

Understand the WHY – Gets You MOTIVATED

Why are you going after this big thing in the first place? You’ve heard over and over that if you have a big enough WHY the how will take care of itself. True! Take a look at the homemade calendar I made for my P.U.S.H. It has my WHY written right on it.

The why for me creating the Self-Love Blueprint is literally my soul wants me to teach you guys Self-Love and I feel the pull to teach it to people all over the world.

Write your why EVERYWHERE.

Share the GOAL – Gets you SUPPORTED

Share what you are pushing for! I told my social media group what I was doing. How crazy it was to do in 8 days and that I intended to do it anyway! Knowing that folks are expecting you to get it done helps pull you along.

This is the result of my push. The Self Love Blueprint is now ready for you!

I’ve found the teachers to show you How to Create From the Inside Out Vibrant Health & Visible Wealth

Join me for FREE – click below and of course you get a free gift from EVERY single expert (I’m persuasive!).

I’m sharing my goal and I hope you’ll support me by watching me and learning right along with me.

TheSelfLoveBlueprint – Create Your New Life from the Inside Out

Hear Your Intuition – Get Your Guidance

Intuition is INDIRECT. Do not argue with your intuition. While you are doing your daily cards you may get directed to switch cards or do things in a different order, be flexible and gentle with yourself. While I was in my P.U.S.H. two amazing intuitions happened & changed my life. Since I followed them I have literally been showered with abundance. Hit reply and say “Send me PUSH” and I’ll email you the full plan.

P.S. Ask me for the FULL P.U.S.H. Plan – Hit reply and say “Send me PUSH.”

Glad you invested in yourself to read a long post 🙂

Jump into my next FREE Summit – TheSelfLoveBlueprint.Com

[Manifesting] Speed Doesn’t Kill but RUSHING Does!

Mar

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Speed Doesn’t Kill but Rushing Does!

How often this past week have you found yourself rushing?

Running out the door…
The mad search for your keys…
Groaning as your phone rings just before a deadline…
Giving out the “honeyIloveyoubyeseeyoulatergottarun…” kiss

I just got a Super Sized version of the lesson that RUSHING is what is bad for us and screws up our manifesting.

Rushing: Speed + Fear

It is not just speed or moving quickly – it’s the MOTIVATION behind the speed.

If you are rushing, you are going fast because you are afraid if I don’t, _________ will happen, that I really do NOT want.

Rushing is a “Fear Sign” to me now. When I am rushing, fear is present. When fear is present, something I don’t want is getting energized into being. Now I am very mindful of rushing…

As you know, I am in the process of building the next summit, on Self-Love! I’m interviewing experts and teachers from all around the globe to teach you more about self-love and how the lack of it creates our problems and the presence of it creates our dreams.

Wrangling over 20+ experts from all over the world is like herding cats and you get tempted to RUSH. Whenever I start, rushing (come on, gotta get this done today because I am afraid ___________ will happen otherwise…) MORE problems would come.

One day last week I had 3 interviews set and my internet suddenly went down in my part of the city 2 minutes from the end of an interview I was taping from Belgium!

Then my emails went wiggly, then I couldn’t enter a password I KNEW was right, then another expert had to reschedule…you can see how this was going. Snowballing into crappy, powered by FEAR.

This is what I call “Spinning” – when you are locked into a negative loop (words, thoughts, events or feelings) that you can’t seem to get out of and it’s feeding on itself. I had to stop – go outside in the sunlight and phone a friend. I had to ask what I was doing to CA– USE all of this chaos?? If you’d like to know 5 Steps to Breaking Out of A Spin – read below.

Answer: My icky rushing energy had attracted a pile of crazy technical obstacles to me. And remember, problems are not obstacles to be solved, but just indicators of gaps in your self-love. If I’d kept my attention to trying to solve the internet, the email, the password and the scheduling I’d still be in that mess!

All of those problems were showing me a gap in my own self-love. What was the gap for me? That I had to rush or maybe I’d miss or lose an expert! That is basically a gap in the old favorite “I’m not good enough and people won’t help (love) me.”

I got my energy on even keel after spotting & addressing the gap. And when I walked back inside? You guessed it. The internet company had said it might be down for another 6-7 hours but they’d fixed it while I was outside in 45 minutes. My password worked (I KNEW I had the right one!). My emails were behaving. The expert happily rescheduled to the next morning (and the energy for it was soo much better!). All of the problems resolved once I dealt with the reason they came into being.

We are very powerful creators. What is going on inside of us, we can see outside of us.

And the higher you grow spiritually, the more aligned you are, the higher your vibration –> the QUICKER you see your errors! They manifest faster. The time delay between something you think or focus on and it showing up gets cut down. Which sounds fantastic, but remember it includes your unwanted manifestations too!

Lots of folks around the world will celebrate Easter this weekend. If you celebrate it-

Happy Easter. If not – Happy Spring (in my hemisphere!). Watch yourself this coming week for RUSHING and spinning.

To R.U.S.H. – Resistance Urging Speed that Harms © Tanya Stewart, Esq.

5 Steps to Breaking Out of A Spin:

Notice you are spinning. If everything you touch is going sideways and everyone you encounter has an attitude – they are all just mirroring back your negative spin!
Change Environment. Odd are strong that the spin is connected to wherever you are right now. MOVE! Get out of there. Even if you can only go to the bathroom or hang your head out of a window.
Release Icky Body Tension. All that nasty is constricting your body. Jump up and down. Wiggle. Stretch. Sprint up some stairs in the stairwell. Even 2 flights will do it.
Ask yourself what you are doing? What you are not seeing that’s causing it? This is a powerful step as it realigns you with power instead of helplessness that is at the core of every spin. You acknowledge it IS you, which is good, because you can tell YOU what to do. Note, you may not see the lesson but don’t worry, just reconnecting with the idea it’s you and there IS a lesson will help break the spin.
Decide on an action (anything positive) and go do it calmly and deliberately. This is you taking an action. Per Esther Hicks, it takes 17 seconds to attract a new thought and at 68 seconds holding that new thought (or action) you’ll shift your energy and the Universe will start sending you stuff to match the new action and STOP sending you stuff to match the spin.

I saw I was spinning once the 5^th impossibility hit. I changed environment by going outside. I moved my body by pacing and being in the grass. I asked what it was and after my energy shifted, I saw my lesson was RUSHING IS BAD! At the end of my 45 mins in the driveway, my action was to “walk barefoot in the grass for a minute and then go back in the house and write a draft of my (as yet unsendable) email”. It Worked and it will work for you.

That is how to use the Law of Attraction to help you break a spin. Let me know how it works for you and what spins you’ve broken out of!

If I get some good feedback from this teaching, I will give you my P.U.S.H. Plan next week for free that I developed to counter the Rushing! I need 10 people to ask me for it and I’ll do it. Just hit email me or comment below and say “Show me how to PUSH”.

I’m off to Charleston, South Carolina for the weekend 🙂 Be safe and happy!

[Self Test] How Many Can You Answer Without Flinching?

Mar

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How Many Can You Answer Without Flinching?

Asking the right life changing questions can make all the difference for you.

Run down the list quickly and make note of the top 3 that make you MOST uncomfortable and spend the next week digging into the answers for those. Don’t forget to score yourself at the end.

1. What am I continuing to allow that I don’t want to continue to receive?

2. Look at the “thing” in your life that is troubling you most and then ask this-if I had it to do over again would I get involved with this job, business or person?

3. What do I do every week just for joy?

4. List the top 5 relationships in your life including the relationship with yourself – are you #1?

5. Where am I giving only “just enough” to when it is something that deserves more?

6. What are the three things that I most want in my life and am I working to have them now?

7. Do I allow myself to want what I want or do I want only what I think I can get?

8. What is the problem that has been following me for the longest number of years – the problem that keeps popping up over and over?
9. When was the last time I gave myself a fabulous gift for no reason?

10. Do I work when I work and play when I play or do I mix them and feel guilty?

11. Do I finish what I start?

12. Am I as kind to myself as I am to the person I most love?

13. What am I doing right now for my personal growth?

14. How is my health on a scale of 1 to 10? If below 8, what am I actively doing about it?
Is my relationship with money resulting in easy cash flow or difficulties?

15. How many books have I made time to read or listen to since the beginning of the year?

16. Are I on target to hit my first quarter goals?

17. What challenging thing have I stretched so far to do that I failed?

18. What is new in my life this Spring?

19. What is my biggest fear?

20. What is the one biggest thing I can do right now to move me closer to my goals? Am I committed to doing that NOW?

21. Is my relationship with money resulting in easy cash flow or difficulties?

I felt good about my answer to:

0 – 7 This is a good wake up call. Your life is yours to enjoy or not. It’s all up to you. Tackle your top 3 one week at a time.
8 -14 You are doing okay but don’t coast! The enemy of GREAT is GOOD. Pick something. Improve it. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
15- 21 If you land here, take a deep breath and honor the work you’ve done and choices you’ve made to get here. Then roll up your shirt sleeves and see how you can do a little more. The reward is a life you love, lived with people you love while doing what you love. That life is worth almost anything!

How did you do? Let me know…

[How To] Titanic Life Lessons: How to Hit an Iceberg (& Survive)

Mar

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Titanic Life Lessons: How to Hit Icebergs (and Survive)

Just about everybody knows that the part of the iceberg you see usually represents only about one third of its mass and that the majority of the iceberg is under the surface – not visible to the naked eye.We even have a popular saying – “well that’s just the tip of the iceberg… “Icebergs represent your problems. The top of the iceberg that you can see is the issue or what other people are doing. The bottom of the iceberg that you can’t see – is you!In the old days when people spotted icebergs they got in trouble because they immediately attempted a course correction based upon just what they could “see”. They did not take into account the problem below the surface – which was always the bigger problem.Next time you spot a problem – from a person or event, use this Iceberg Analysis.

Whatever it is that you can see is the tiniest part. The part that you really need to be concerned about is the part that belongs to you that pushed the problem to visibility at the surface in the first place. It’s YOU that is supporting the entire problem. Change you, change it.

If you see the problem coming and you can’t avoid it, start right then to investigate your stuff below the surface. It was ice below the surface that sank the unsinkable ship, the Titanic.

The counter-intuitive advice? If you see an iceberg in your life – Hold Your Course. Deal with it (your part) and don’t veer off.

Did you know that just moments before they Titanic hit that iceberg the spotters saw it and called it down to the bridge? The man at the helm ordered the fastest turn the ship could do – and they missed the visible part but hit the part below the surface sideways which tore a long hole in the side of the ship that breached FIVE watertight compartments. If they had only punctured FOUR they could’ve stayed afloat. Some people theorize if they had hit the iceberg head on without turning, something that the ship’s was designed to withstand, they would’ve stayed afloat.

Like the Titanic, you are designed to face things head on and running usually causes more damage than you can quickly repair.

Here are the 10 Life Lessons of the Titanic from my research:

1. The Biggest problems are always below the surface.

2. Being too busy is deadly.

Little known fact, the ships wireless set had broken that day and after spending all day repairing it, the wireless operator Jack Philips was desperately behind sending his routine messages. A ship 6 miles from them wired it was at full stop become of icebergs in the area and WANTED TO SEND THE COORDINATES OF THE ICEBERGS. His reply? “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You are jamming my signal. I’m busy. I am working [messages to] Cape Race.”

3. Beware Looks over function.

Life boats were not considered very critical BEFORE the Titanic. The number of life boats required was measured by the ships weight, NOT the number of passengers. The ship carried 2,223 passengers on it’s maiden voyage. Yet, they only had life boat capacity for 1,178. They originally had MORE lifeboats but at the last minute someone decided it made the beautiful boat look “cluttered” so they removed them! Only 706 people survived, with 12 being rescued from the water. Who made it? 20% men, 76% of the women and 50% of the children.

4. Practice what’s important.

Ever been annoyed by those cruise ship life boat drills? The Titanic staff hadn’t practiced so it was well over an hour after they knew the ship was lost before they launched the first boat and they did it so inefficiently that there was room for another 500 people in the boats that went empty.

5. Just doing your job/part can make you a hero.

The band leader, Wallace Hartley, is a hero. He and the band kept playing to keep the passengers calm and stayed at their posts until that boat went down, even though he had just gotten engaged and was sailing to his fiancé.

6. Disasters bring positive change in their wake.

This maritime disaster caused change: lifeboat regulations, ship designs, standardizing warning procedures, build designs and they formed an ice patrol for the area which prevented any future boats from sinking.

7. Help often comes from unlikely sources.

The boat that was the closest, 6 miles away, through a crazy series of events had shut off their wireless and never got the message the Titanic was sinking even though they were close enough to help. Their Captain was vilified for ignoring 8 signal flares and common sense. Help came from a boat that traveled from 58 nautical miles (107 km) away, pushing itself 50% faster than it’s top speed to help.

8. Evacuate women and children first.

Get your vulnerabilities out of the way and leave your strengths to make an undistracted stand. I have no gender equality issue with getting women and children off a sinking boat first. If I didn’t have a child to protect, I don’t think I would go immediately. I would join the solution for as long as I could, if it would not distress/distract my mate.

9. Once you know the cause is lost, abandon ship.

People didn’t fill up early boats out of laziness and overconfidence. They were on the UNSINKABLE ship. Follow your instincts. If your intuition is reading something as a disaster before it looks like one, it’s coming.

10. Ask for help.

They signaled from the wireless until the radio room went dead. They shot off 8 flares (which the closest ship couldn’t figure out if that the white color was a distress call but did nothing to ask). The Titanic went under in 2 hours and 40 minutes. When you need help, ask but don’t wait on it, it might come too late. Adapt. Improvise. Overcome. Get your Help Below…

[Commitment] God is Inconvenient…

Mar

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People have a tendency to look to see if God’s request was convenient before they say yes. It doesn’t occur to them that sometimes God is making a request in order to cause you to have to stretch. Sometimes the STRETCH is the point and not the request itself.

I told you last week about my 3 coaches. Trust me, that WASN’T my idea! I had picked ONE. The second one was huge STRETCH. And you know what? Figuring out how to make that work, changed me and my coaching business for the better before we even began coaching. I had to go into YES Energy to figure it out and not run away.

I’m always kind of appalled at people who ask God for help, get an answer and then disregard it because…well, gee, it looked…hard. Because the answer wasn’t one, clear easy step from where they were standing…Because the answer did fit THEIR expectations of what it should be.

Seriously? Seriously?! Would babies ever learn to walk if a) you didn’t encourage them and LET THEM FALL and b) the stuff they wanted was in easy reach?

Walking is not convenient. Being healthy is not convenient. Running a business is not convenient. See a trend here? Getting to the “better” is almost never convenient.

I take the bible as a master metaphysical guide. In it, whenever God asked somebody to build a temple, you know what he DIDN’T do? He didn’t drop a container from the sky with 6000 pounds of pre-cut lumber, 40 pounds of nails, back up a truck of mortar and bus with 20 workers all carrying Home Depot credit cards – prepaid.

That’s YOUR part!

Whatever you are led to do or shown to do, let me be clear – the “HOW” is your part, but you do the “HOW” by letting Source via intuition guide you to the easiest way. You do the “HOW” by letting it be done FOR you. You do the how by Proving the Law of Asked and Answered. But you gotta accept the answer.

If you really need all those material things, you’ll find them on your journey (i.e. on your way, i.e. to be more clear – once you have gotten off your ass and started proceeding in the direction that you were told to go).

Inability to commit to yourself leads to inability to commit to God.

Here it is clearly – if you cannot commit to yourself you cannot commit to any of the following: your job, your spouse, your children, your self-love, your spiritual purpose, your life, your health or your Source. Did that narrow it down for anybody as to why self-commitment is kind of the most important thing you can do?

Make a commitment to open and read these coaching emails weekly. Invest a few minutes in examining your life each week to see how you can improve, especially when it is inconvenient. That is an easy commitment to yourself you can start with.

My DIY home self-commitment kick start instructions below. It will work for you. Warning: It’s not convenient.

I like simple. The fastest and easiest boost to sel(You can ask me for a HCG recommendation if you need one.)f-commitment (read Self-Love) is to begin a healthy lifestyle. Ok. I’ll call it straight. Go on a diet. Change your eating habits and exercise patterns. I’m not a fitness coach – but I know a few! You don’t need directions so much as you need the resolve to begin something new. Start with 8 glasses of water or herbal tea EVERY day. Commit!

If you really want self-commitment – I recommend you use HCG diet if your overall health permits it. Why? Because it’s like a kamikaze boot camp for your body which pushes your mind to notice and surface all of its bad thought patterns. You’ll break habits, like sugar, snacking, late eating and inactivity. And all of those habits are adaptations to your lazy – the opposite of self- commitment. (You can ask me for a HCG product recommendation if you need one.)

If you were hoping for something easy to build self-commitment, I have not found it yet. I’ll keep an eye out. Basically, go after something HARD (my first Half Marathon was a self-commitment exercise) and keep going and do not accept your own excuses no matter how good they sound. In just a few weeks of showing up for yourself, your self-commitment muscle will be stronger.

As you can only give away what you already have, you need to do this double time if you are in a relationship, modeling behavior for children or running your own business (big one there).

Want some help? Ask me your question below.

[Success] Training vs. Talent – Which Wins?

Feb

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I read an article somewhere that said it is actually much better for you to tell children that they worked hard on something than to tell them that they’re smart.

It was one of those nuggets that I recognized with my head but didn’t make it all the way to my heart. Until now…

It is better to be focused and trained – disciplined and persistent than talented.

This famous poem really sums it up:

Press on
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
— Calvin Coolidge (30^th President of the USA)

Back in 2001 (sigh, why does that sound soo long ago?) I got accepted into the high performance training camp for racquetball hosted at the U.S. Olympic training facility in Colorado Springs.

HUGE deal for me. I was talented. While I was there, one of the coaches came up to me after watching me play and told me that I was “very fast”. I glowed. I beamed. I said thank you! And then he looked at me and said it wasn’t a compliment.

“Your speed makes you sloppy.”

When I coach, I teach that you do one thing the way you do everything. And I can now look back with hindsight and realize that my speed (read: my talent) did in fact make me sloppy in my life.

I was so very fast that I could get to anything on the court. I didn’t have to train properly. I didn’t have to make sure that my body was always in balance. I didn’t have to use economy of motion. I didn’t apply strategy to my play or analyze my competitors well. My talent made it easy for me to skip training, practice, discipline and focus. It made me sloppy.

This is the year that I train my talents. I challenge you to look at your greatest talent and ask yourself where has it made you sloppy? If you apply persistence and training on top of your talent YOU WILL BECOME EXTRAORDINARY.

I have not one, but two live coaching programs I’m in plus one coaching program online. So I have invested in three coaches training my talent this year. I’ve stopped asking what it is COSTING me (a good bit!) and focus on what it’s WORTH to me. Total commitment + Natural Talent = World Class.

Someone who prepares, focuses, puts in the effort of self-discipline and persists toward their goal will always beat your natural talent in the long run.

Share with me below what you are willing to commit to do to train your talent.

[Manifesting] How I Manifested (1) Man & (4) Eggplants This Week

Feb

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How I Manifested (1) Man & (4) Eggplants This Week

You loved the last post. Lots of awesome emails to me. Here’s Part II on the highly unplanned but greatly anticipated “Dating and Eggplant” Theme of 2016.

We will need a little bit of backstory, so just stay with me.

Adventures in Dating
About a month ago out of the blue I got a reply on a dating website from the most marvelous guy EVER. He was a happy, spiritual, business owning, fun entrepreneur. Even had three kids so I could be a mom. Our profiles look like one person wrote them and cut them in half. He was good-looking and had those melt you blue eyes (there is another term for those kind of blue eyes that involves an expletive, but I am trying to do better on that!). Can you feel the emotional quicksand yet? I was thrilled. His first email to me was soo good, it should be taught to men online over the course of an entire semester. (Read on for a chance to see it…)

I wrote back – I said YES I am interested. And then I waited… And waited… Worried for a moment, stopped that and waited some more.

Mr. Coolest Dating Profile EVER had disappeared.

The very day I was teaching my Self-Love call in January, I realized that he had poofed. This is so common in the age of online dating that there is even an official term for it – ghosting. They are there and then they just fade away. Here is where I might begin to differ from you – when I finally let myself believe that he had disappeared which of the following questions did I ask myself?

What the hell is the matter with him?
What the hell did I do?
What the hell is the matter with men online these days?

#2 And let me clarify. One way to read that question is – Since I am not enough, how did I fail? That is NOT the way. The correct reading is – Since I am enough, I must have caused/attracted this – what is this problem trying to tell me that I’m missing? Where is there a gap in my self-love that caused this? THAT question – is the only question that you need and it is the question that will change your life. Because that question takes 100% responsibility for anything that’s going on in your world.
Years ago a guy disappearing on me meant he was an ass. There appeared to be no small shortage of asses on the planet, so this conclusion seems logically sound. Whenever I’d share a story like this with girlfriends they would back it up – Yep, sounds like he was an ass.

But I know now that his poofing was MORE about an issue with my self-love and I was seriously (read super FREAKING seriously) motivated to figure out what had separated me from Mr. Coolest Profile Ever.

I used a logic tool that I had just modified for my self-love teaching to help me spot the gaps in my self-love. I found not one, not two, but EIGHT different gaps relating to receiving my future mate! Holy F Batman! These were beliefs and ideas that would block him from finding me or pursuing me or in this case make him disappear.

I realize that the Universe sent Mr. Coolest Profile EVER not so I could date and marry Mr. Coolest Profile EVER (dang it) but so that I could be alerted to blocks I had that were keeping me from receiving my true love. Remember, if you listened to my self-love call, problems are not obstacles to be solved – they are merely directionals pointing out the gaps in your self-love.

I took an event that most women would have blamed on the guy and I used it to find the weakness in me and fix it. (If enough of you ask me, I’ll talk to you about what those 8 blocks were and how I released them next week.)

Cool Lesson and Now for the MANIFESTATION…

While I’m telling my friends about this guy and saying that he is disappeared I kept telling ONE joke. I’d say maybe he’s gone off to Saudi Arabia to drill oil. He’s probably just super busy in Saudi Arabia drilling oil. Oil drilling in Saudi is busy work, that’s why he didn’t reply. He’ll contact me as soon as he can.

For me this was an awesome joke alternative to Mr. Coolest Profile EVER just completely ditching me.

I’ve been telling it and laughing about it for 3 weeks whenever I wonder what happened to that guy.

The Punchline Arrives & The Universe Delivers

You have doubtless heard that the universe does not have a sense of humor. What that means is it processes what we think and feel and say pretty much as is.

Which is precisely why three days ago, I got a text from a guy I went out with a few times 16 years ago to tell me that he had just moved to Saudi Arabia and was working there for a drilling company. Oh. AND he’s still interested! (He likes to check on me every few years to see if I’ve changed mind yet!)

THAT is manifesting.

It manifested easily because the idea of a guy in Saudi Arabia drilling for oil interested in me was powered by laughter and joy and humor. Those are high, pure divine energies. And of course I was not resisting my desire because I wasn’t even thinking about it!

My Jokes Deliver Eggplant

Anybody who read last week’s post involving eggplants will get. Read Last Week’s Doritos, Eggplant and Heartache Post Here.

Of course I got 3 emails from ardent eggplant lovers. That’s seemed normal. But in the grocery store 2 days ago I checked the produce clearance bin to find… Drumroll please…

About 30 eggplants on clearance! I bought 4 eggplants for $.99! You can’t even buy a PACK OF GUM for .99 anymore! I didn’t even know what I was going to DO WITH THEM, having never cooked them before. But, when the Universe speaks to you like that – you buy the damn eggplant.

The Universe wasn’t done. It lead me read a Twitter post about all of the benefits of eggplant. Which lead me to research and discover that eggplant is super badass at making something called eggplant miracle water which helps you lose weight easily!

THAT is manifesting.

Again notice that the topic was humorous to me and full of life and energy and happiness. Again notice I held no strong mental resistance to eggplants (jury is still out, I’ll let you know what they taste like – I’m going to roast one with garlic in it and make the “Miracle Water”).

Tell me about your manifestations that have come from you joking around. Did it delight or scare you?

Here is the email from Mr.Coolest Profile Ever – wouldn’t missing out on THIS motivate you to clear some blocks??:

Hiya,
Just love the authenticity, clarity and warmth of your profile.
Looks like we have a LOT in common (ACIM, both entrepreneurs, both successful, both water signs, both wanting a remarkable relationship : )
If you agree, send me an email and we’ll chat sometime. I’m a possibility thinker with a powerful faith that God coordinates the highest good for all… so distance is no problem for me.
Talk soon,
XXXXX

[Relationships] Doritos, Eggplant & Heartache: A How “NOT TO” Guide

Feb

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[Relationships] Doritos, Eggplant and Heartache – a How “Not To” Guide

Yes, I can tie love, Doritos and Eggplant together. Watch and learn…

I have a client that I’ve been coaching for a long time so I know her relationship history as well as mine.

Some Men are Eggplants…

So my client is allergic to eggplant. Seriously. I’m not entirely sure why lots of people even eat eggplant, so the idea of someone being allergic to it is slightly comical to me. When she eats eggplant it makes her cough, sneeze and maybe even breathe funny. (I personally think she likes to eat it because she likes to say “Baba Ganoush” which is the name of some eggplant dish which even spellcheck could not spell).

She calls me up –

Her: “I want to detox, so I am eating only vegetables and I’m making eggplant.”
Me: Why would you do that? ( insert unnecessary expletive wherever you think I put it)
Her: It just tastes so yummy. I’ll just deal with the reaction, it’s not so bad.

She had it for dinner and then for breakfast and since she wasn’t dead yet, was even eyeing her leftovers for lunch when she was hit with a vicious headache and crazy cough.

I felt compelled to point out that it doesn’t matter how good it tastes if it’s bad for you in SOME way.

In relationships we have a tendency to let our ego magnify the tasty yummy parts and downplay the icky, crappy parts. We break up with people and then go back to them because while they were away, all we did was think about the tasty yummy parts. Stop it.

You need to revise the standard that for something to be bad for you it has to be 100% bad for you. Very few things are hundred percent bad for you except a bullet fired at you from close range. Everything else is on a scale somewhere. It is self-loving to decide to stop accepting things that are “kind of bad for “you.

Some men are eggplant and are kind of bad for you. Some women should talk to the Eggplant Growers Association and apply to be their spokes model because they are really kind of bad for you.

Make a list of the three things that you’re doing right now that are “kind of” bad for you. Pick the one that would change your life the most and just freakin’ stop it.

Are You Involved with a Doritos bag?

Did you ever get a bag of Doritos when you’re just starving? You tear open the bag and you are munching away as fast as you can on the biggest chips. Then you eat the smaller chips. Then, if you’re totally honest (stop lying to yourself), you probably lick your finger and dig in the bag to get to the tiny little crumbs. Yes, I have done this more than once.

There then comes that moment where you actually check the bag again to make sure there’s still nothing left in there that you can eat. You check it after you KNOW it’s empty.

I have done this and I have seen people do this with their relationships. They meet, it’s great and then things get less great and then there’s like nothing there for you – but you keep coming back. You have to shake that bag just one more time. You lick your finger and try to get the crumbs. You just won’t accept that there’s nothing left in this relationship for you – it’s an empty Doritos bag.

Let it go. The only reason you’re acting crazy with this bag is because you’re super hungry. Meaning, you are empty and afraid inside and you are going back to this person over and over looking for just another crumb to keep you from emotionally starving to death.

And just so those of you who have healthy relationships don’t feel to superior – your Doritos bag or eggplant can be a job, nonperforming business, a wayward child, an abusive friend or spiritual practice that doesn’t serve you anymore.

I guarantee you right now everyone reading this somehow has an eggplant or Doritos bag in their life in some form.

Love yourself more and throw that empty bag in the trash and let someone else eat that eggplant and cough on it.

Bonus Eggplant Lesson:

Today I want to talk about two laws that I repeat all the time: 1) you do one thing the way you do everything and 2) anything you do with the fear-based motive must fail.
You do one thing the way you do all things. The silly story with the eggplant was instructive because she caught herself doing the VERY same thing with a guy she had dated for way too long and finally broken up with. She kept wanting to glamourize his good bits and ignore the headaches he caused and go back.

That is not love. That’s LOVE Letting Others Validate Ego ©
We do one thing the way we do all things. That’s why if you have a big bad habit to break, find it in miniature somewhere else and BREAK THAT SMALLER ONE.

THAT was my Valentine’s Gift to you. That is thousand dollar advice.

What is true of a small thing is true of a big thing says Florence Shinn, my favorite teacher.

On the Doritos Bag front, when the motivation for coming back, staying or taking back a person is FEAR (I don’t want to be alone, I won’t find this love again, we have to make this work or I can’t go on…) it must fail. Insert job or friendship as appropriate.

The Doritos Bag relationship is NOT the problem to be solved, it is the gap in your Self-Love that leaves you feeling like you are starving for some love, any love, even crumbs.

Do NOT be a crumb taker! I am a reformed crumb taker (another group I need to start apparently). You CAN break that cycle with help. Reach out. I’m here…

Tell me your stories, I’m listening.

[Motivation] Stop Doing This 1 Thing & Watch What Shows Up…

Feb