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Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

Fearless Focus Coaching / Articles posted by Tanya Stewart, Esq. (Page 13)

[Presence] Rushing is NOT Powerful

15

Sep

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

Rushing is NOT Powerful

I was sitting in my co-work place and saw a woman beautifully dressed, that had an aura of “I’ve got this” about her. She rushed by in her heels.

A bit later she sped by again. Click. Click. Click. And then later again. On the fourth pass, I stopped this stranger and told her that people wait for the powerful, the wealthy and the beautiful.

She paused, lit up and thanked me profusely. She was an Alpha and she got it right away. Later, walking by with presence she threw me a pleased smile.

If you can, recall any scene where a stunning woman is walking, is she rushing? NOPE. Strolling or sauntering. Maybe walking purposefully but not RUSHING.

The energy of RUSHING is FEAR & LACK.

 


The powerful have the luxury of time and choice and they use it to accommodate their schedules and preferences.

When I want to feel MORE wealthy, more beautiful, more desired or in demand – I don’t speed up…I SLOW DOWN.

Marilyn Monroe didn’t rush. I doubt Oprah rushes anymore. Jackie Kennedy Onassis, wife of a President and then billionaire shipping magnate? Nope.

What about if I’m on a deadline?

Then you P.U.S.H. ©2016, but you don’t rush.

Plan the little things

Understand the WHY

Share the Goal

Hear Your Intuition

Rushing is NOT powerful. We most often rush because we aren’t PLANNING well enough.

What would you have to do to set yourself up for success next week WITHOUT rushing? 

Are you WILLING to do that?
Hit Reply & Let me know!

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

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[Focus Mag] Knowing & Believing- Why You Don’t ACT On What You KNOW

13

Sep

Audio, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
0

magazine


Our FOCUS: 


There is a HUGE difference between believing and knowing.


I do find many teachers use the words interchangeably. Now my teaching is no longer Knowing vs. Believing, but “What part of you is doing the KNOWING?” 


Today is a deep teaching, and not for the faint of heart (pun totally intended). If you don’t get this, no worries. If you WANT to and need help, just email me. This is jet fuel for your life.


Let’s do some good work 🙂

 

      Author Unknown

 
I can only tell you the truth, I can’t make you believe it.

 

 

Today’s TRAINING: Why You Don’t Act On What You Know



Knowing vs. Believing


There is a difference between believing and knowing.


Many teachers use the words in different ways, often with knowing being superior to believing. I use it the other way around. Here’s my teaching.


Knowing of the Head:


This is your mind’s knowledge and the ego is involved. Think, you “know math” or “know how to cook.”


Knowing of the Heart = Believing: (can also be called wisdom, inspiration, intuition or faith)


The Heart is connected to Source and is your link to your higher self. Think, you “believe children are innocent” or “believe sunsets are beautiful.”


The “Battle” Is For The Free Agent, The Subconscious.


The subconscious is the home of EXECUTION, where all of your programming lives. It carries out it’s Commander’s orders without question. It follows patterns and runs things on a continuous loop. It does not KNOW anything or BELIEVE anything, so it can EXECUTE anything, good or bad, fearlessly. Think, perfect soldier.


There is only knowing. Either the mind knows or the heart knows, but the EFFECT of those knowings are vastly different!


When the heart knows, the effect is Believing and it leads to receiving.


When the mind knows, the effect is controlling or questioning, doubting and seeking evidence. These all lead to taking and controlling but NOT receiving.


When your subconscious is aligned with what your heart knows, you act in full faith and without crippling fear. You act out of love and are perceived as inspired.


When your subconscious is taking it’s directions from your mind, it requires evidence and proof continually so it starts, stops, doubts, wonders, starts again, stops again.


Familiar? 


Hearts Cannot Lie (But Your Subconscious Kinda Can!)


I have a friendly debate with a friend of mine about the heart, subconscious and the mind. He says that the heart can lie. I think it’s a wording issue. Today, I am finally able to bring through what MY heart knows of this matter.


The heart is connected to Source energy and therefore cannot lie. The heart knows what it knows – the question is can you allow what your heart knows? When you are allowing what your heart knows, you are believing.


Lots of ancient texts will use the word “heart” for the word “subconscious”, watch out for that. For example, the biblical quote that ‘out of your heart, comes the issues of your life.’  That is saying, out of your programming come your life’s events. Clearer now.


The subconscious accepts all programming. If it is slaved to the mind, then it will accept, allow and execute programming that is consistent with fear. This subconscious would be the servant of the ego, which leads it to replicate, support and ignore lies and fear the truth (exposure).  


“I Know It With My Head, But Don’t Believe It Yet…”


Very common issue I hear when I’m coaching Alphas is: I know something with my head, but I just can’t get it into my heart. I know it but I don’t believe it yet. 


Here is the truth even though it’s a little harder to understand. That statement is not accurate. Why?


You are not trying to get knowledge down from your mind into your heart. The heart is connected to Source energy, all that is. It actually already HAS all the knowledge that you’re seeking.


You are actually trying to get heart knowledge UP from your heart, into your head! The head acts like a fairly aggressive sentry, blocking access to the subconscious so it can maintain it’s dictatorship.  IF the head agrees, it just unlocks the door and passes the programming on down. Bam, it gets executed.


If the head disagrees, it makes it very, very hard for you to rewrite the program it has the subconscious running.


We have all been trying to do this the wrong way! (Me included. I discovered this less than 2 years ago!)


What If Your HEART Held All The Answers?


Play with this idea – imagine that your heart actually has access to whatever answer it is you’re seeking.


IF that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to convince your heart of anything! You would actually be attempting to allow in what the heart already knows, instead of trying to convince the heart of something that YOU know. Instead of PUSHING, you’d be PULLING.


Haven’t you always read those annoying clichés about, everything you need is already inside of you??


Well fudge, that was true. 


Think for a moment, there are times in your life where you have just known things that you just couldn’t KNOW. That was a moment when you tapped into your heart’s knowledge. Basically, your heart has DSL to infinite wisdom and your mind has dial up with a 1200 baud modem. 


Believing Is About RECEIVING From Your Heart


Believing is about relaxing into the idea that you don’t have to fight to get the answer. It’s about trusting that if your heart knows something is so, you don’t actually need to see evidence of it to safely agree with it.


I love Dr. Wayne Dyer. And he taught so clearly in his book, “You’ll See It When You Believe It.”  Again, this great teacher noticed that we had it backwards!


It is your mind that says, I’ll believe it when (after) I see it. But the laws of creation and energy and dominion, say, you’ll see it once (after) you have first believed it. By your faith it is done unto you.


I am telling you today that the believing that you are to be doing is the allowing/receiving of the information that your heart already has access to. 


When I go to write these trainings for you, in the beginning I thought of myself as creating them. That was harder. I now understand that I more accurately transcribe them, because I receive them from my heart. Waaayyy easier.


Alphas struggle with control issues because we really want to “KNOW” how to do it, when to do it and why to do it. That desire for control makes accessing your heart’s knowledge difficult because you need to be in a RECEIVING mode to “get” from your heart. It gives, you receive.


It’s like Alphas go to the pump to get water, but we don’t bring a bucket! We come to the pump and we stare at it and simply demand and command water but we aren’t prepared to receive it! 


Can you “open your heart” to receive your heart’s knowing without the world’s evidence?


All that which we are now seeing, came from nothing which is seen. 


Deep? Yes. Important? Immensely. 


When you know with your heart – you are believing. That believing requires no evidence, because it’s source is Infinite wisdom. That believing is the basis of faith. 


(There simply is nothing better than the moment where I stop resisting being up late and let myself sink into a place of gratitude to be receiving what I’msupposed to teach. When I drop control, I can receive and “allow” in a discovery to share.)


Tanya Recommends:


This one is easy. Back up your computer. It’s kind of like birth control in an odd way. The very best kind, you don’t have to stop and think about or remember. If you have to remember, you COULD forget and the results can be SERIOUS.
 
Not getting anything to share this company with you. This is who I use and I feel SAFE!
 
When did I get FIRST get them? Oh, about 3 weeks after my laptop and ipad were stolen in Mexico.
 
Let’s not have that be you. There are probably a lot of folks in the path of the hurricanes that did NOT have a laptop backup. I only had to lose a short book I’d written and family photos ONCE to learn!
 
Carbonite is usually $60/year and gives unlimited cloud storage for one computer. It backs up automatically, continuously. Best part? You can get your files back if lost AND if you are traveling and need something from your laptop, you can get at the files then too!
 
I used it to transfer EVERY piece of data (120 GB) to my brand new empty laptop!
 
Nuff said. If you are still reading this, secure your computer.
 
 
P.S. About 2 weeks before my stuff was stolen I kept noticing their ads and sadly thought it was a little pricey! After all, I had my files on my laptop AND ipad, so THAT was alright…HA!

Get Backed Up

 

 

tip

The easiest way to tell what you believe is the watch what you DO. You invariably behave consistent with what you BELIEVE, not what you KNOW (with your head). Teenagers KNOW drinking and driving is dangerous but do they believe that? Clearly, they do NOT. Check yourself. Do you know X or BELIEVE X? Just telling yourself the truth about what you discover puts you on the right path.

 
 

spir

 
When your heart and mind agree, I think of it as a different interpretation of the bible saying, “where two of YOU agree”. Where the two of you, heart AND mind agree, it is done because at that point there is no longer any resistance. Some folks call that alignment. 

It is not a daily experience but you can improve your life greatly by always seeking to tell yourself the truth about where your mind is on an issue and where you heart is. When they are divided, the “house cannot stand.” If you spent one month, 30 days, opening to receive your heart’s knowing on something before trying to undertake actions on it, you would find that when you acted, it was much easier.

Wow Did You Hear?

 

An Alpha in Alpha Group Coaching just got a non-holiday, personal bonus, 8X the size of her Christmas bonus because she is FINALLY showing up confident and sharing what she knows. 
She is getting paid to be MORE of who she IS.
Go Alpha!

Talk to Tanya

 

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My Mission:


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Rosary I FOUND While Praying

[Truth] Sharing A Miracle, Need A Favor…

08

Sep

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

 

Sharing A Miracle, Need A Favor…

 

Today I’m sharing a story that shows how I use exactly what I TEACH YOU to handle problems and the Miracle that just arrived…

If you’ve been watching, I’m building my 3rd Global Event (It may be how you found me originally!). This one is for Alphas of course! So it means I’m spinning an awful lot of plates right now.

wGot the book, The Alphas Guide to Life, to the editor. Working on the design of an 8 week Online course for Alphas and building the free “Alpha Women Success Academy: How to Get Your Money, Your Man and Your Mission. NOW.”
 

 


I pushed to get everything tested and working from a tech side for the Academy before anyone arrived. Same way you hurry to get house clean before the guests get there! This morning a friend wrote me that one of my links to join the Academy, WASN’T WORKING.

First, I noticed that I didn’t panic, blame or get angry. I had 4 devices open to try to repeat the error. My assistant had her devices open. With great hoopla, I finally saw it fail. Called GoDaddy (awesome company!) for support to learn it was the other large company, LeadPages (also good).

And…Nothing. Crickets. No one could get it to repeat so they couldn’t “fix” it.

What did I do? After 3 hours noticed that doing anything else would be STRUGGLING and I teach the way to SUCCESS is SURRENDER. I did all I could so I…went for a 2 mile walk.

I walked and prayed and used my best affirmations. I knew the glitch was about me or FOR ME somehow (notice, no blaming). I began to feel better and better. I knew I was loved and guided and I asked my guardian angel to send me a sign please.

Hint: The Universe is happy to send you signs and they will use what YOU would view as a sign to communicate with you.

I looked down just as I asked and saw something in the dirt on the side of the road. Something blue…and green. I picked up two beads. Blue and green are my business colors and blended together they make TEAL my new FAVORITE color.

Before I could rejoice, I felt I should look again.  Covering almost 10 feet, I picked up the scattered pieces of a bracelet rosary! With the crucifix!


God still gives signs. Miracles still happen and yes, you can ASK for one. Some would count this as a “small” miracle but miracles do not have a SIZE.

What was I affirming before my miracle?
  • That I was doing all that I knew to do.
  • Willing to do whatever was necessary.
  • And that I was asking for guidance and would give immediate obedience to whatever I was shown to do…therefore, since I’d covered the process, the outcome could be safely SURRENDERED.

That is EXACTLY what I taught in The Success Jump Start Kit that is an immediate gift when you join the Alpha Academy online event.

 


I have a favor to ask. The favor is my 2nd miracle. I need to send traffic to my site to test that it’s working and that folks can get registered and get the Success Kit immediately BEFORE my instructors send more traffic and maybe hit that glitch (I may have lost some folks today).

If you want to see what I’m up to, get The Success Kit and help me out by testing it – I would be grateful. Just click a photo.

These Instructors and the content has me in awe. The gifts are generous. I just feel blessed to be building this for you.
please send me the info with a screenshot!!! I appreciate it.

 


P.S. It is possible the glitch was to get me to this rosary. If so, then all is well and there is nothing TO fix! 

P.P.S. I make jewelry and I WILL repair the rosary God sent me! 


 

​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Truth] Sharing A Miracle, Need A Favor…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #16 Tanya Says Start LATE…

06

Sep

Arts, Audio
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
0

 

You’ve Got Voicemail…

 


Start something “late”. Start it with NOT enough time to do it. You’ll turn competitive and begin what you were dreading doing!

 


 

 

 

 

 

P.S. 5 minutes to my Alpha Group call, I got this audio uploaded and post laid out. I felt like a million bucks! 


You can artificially “create wins” for yourself like this. Meeting and exceeding little challenges you give yourself is HUGE. Basically, daring yourself to do something and then showing up is an instant shot of “self-love.” 

 

 

​​​​​

​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 

 

 

[Audio] Voicemail #16 Tanya Says Start LATE…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Truth] Telling Your Truths…Prepare to Begin a 4 Phase Process of PAIN!

31

Aug

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

[Truth] Telling Your Truths…Prepare to Begin a 4 Phase Process of PAIN!
 
What? You KNOW I tell the truth. I have an Alpha in Part 4 right now. It’s a part no one expects and it flattens most Alphas who are new to telling their truth.  Ready?
 

Phase 1: SEEING THE TRUTH.

Hard. Especially where the “truth” you are seeing involves YOU losing something you have or NOT getting something you want. Many, many folks do not ever get past this phase. Alphas are tough, we can see the truth (especially if you have a high-energy, loving, slightly mouthy black woman helping you).

 

 


Phase 2: TELLING THE TRUTH.

Umm harder. We have to tell the truth to OURSELVES first. Did you know that we lie to ourselves way more than anyone else? AND if you lie to yourself, you can’t be trusted to tell the truth others. Apply this to those around you. If you see BIG, SHINY truths that they are playing “hide-n-seek” with and never FINDING they are lying to themselves.
 

IF YOU LIE TO YOURSELF, YOU MUST LIE TO OTHERS AS YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF TELLING THE TRUTH.
 
Most Alphas are pretty suck here. You either only tell the truth in ANGER (not good) or after you’ve been hurt (also not good) or you keep quiet and squish the truth inside. Now ask me why you are depressed, carrying extra pounds, can’t make money and don’t feel attractive? Bingo.



Phase 3: ACTING ON THE TRUTH.

Scary! So many Alphas that CAN see the truth and tell themselves – yep, that’s how it is… then can’t take the next right step. To leave that job, end that relationship, stop driving by the damn donut place, talk to the creditor you are avoiding. Acting consistent with the truth you KNOW means you BELIEVE IT and it is a huge clue to character.

Circumstances do not make the man, they only REVEAL him to HIMSELF — Epictetus, Greek Philosopher 100 AD
To believe in something and not live it, is dishonest —-Mahatma Gandhi
 

Phase 4: HOLDING YOUR GROUND AGAINST YOUR OWN HEAD.

Crazily Hard. No one knows this but if you run the gauntlet of Phases 1-3 you are in a for a treat! A full-frontal assault from your Ego who is royally miffed about all this “truthing.”  Truth is a synonym for love, so…that is panic time in Ego world. It will come at you from every angle:
  • Look what you lost – lack
  • You spoke too late – timing
  • You said too much – judgment
  • You shouldn’t have listened to whoever told you to tell the truth (i.e. Alpha Women Coaches)
  • You were doing just fine and look at this unnecessary mess – fatigue
  • You’ll never get back what you just threw away by doing that – fear
In short, it will do everything it can to put you into 3 corners of the Alpha Square of Doom – Resenting, Resisting and Regretting.
Ready for the solution? Do NOT fight your head. It’s like trying to convince a drunk they are NOT drunk. The more you fight the more THEY fight. I want you to agree and keep repeating, I have a choice and I choose truth. If truth brings me trouble, so be it.


Isn’t this what you want your kids to do? Do the right thing and count the consequences later.
 

Isn’t this what we need our world leaders to do? Choose truth and if truth brings trouble, SO BE IT.
​​​​​​​
Set the example. You can and will survive Phase 4 and when you do it often enough, you cripple the ego’s strength.


P.S. To my Alpha in Spain right now, I love you. You are in Phase 4. You chose TRUTH. If truth brings you trouble, we will kick troubles ASS together! Hold the line to want what you want and keep telling the truth and acting on it until it’s part of your character. A person IS what she constantly DOES.
 

P.P.S. Advanced Lesson – I have learned not to RESIST choosing truth or REGRET AFTER I chose truth. I’m now only worried if I didn’t! Truth IS protected by the Universe.


​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Truth] Telling Your Truths…Prepare to Begin a 4 Phase Process of PAIN!Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #15 Tanya Wants You to Do Just a Little Bit More…

31

Aug

Arts, Audio
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
0

 

You’ve Got Voicemail…
 

The big gains come from controlling your mind to do just a LITTLE BIT MORE after you feel “done”.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  It was 11 pm and I was excited. I was going to bed early! It had been a long day in a long week that included unexpected car trouble today.  And even more full days lie ahead. Suddenly, intuition told me clearly that I’d NOT done my Voicemail! 

 
I had to do this “little bit more” after I felt done (nightgown in bed done!). It was another chance to keep my commitment to show up for you and show myself that I can override “comfort” to reach my goals.

 

 

​​​​​

​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 

 

 

[Audio] Voicemail #15 Tanya Wants You to Do Just a Little Bit More…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Mindfulness] What You Can Learn From Fake Eyelashes…

25

Aug

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

 

What You Can Learn from Fake Eyelashes…

I have kind of watched out of the corner of my eye (hehe) the new trend of women getting fake eyelashes. I have no clue if it started with black women, but I do see them used there quite a bit.

I knew it had hit mainstream when my StepMom showed up with them for a family wedding. And you know what? She looked awesome!

So I noticed that my tiny “judgy” voice was going and told it to lean back. Much like hair extensions, these things make some women feel more beautiful. My worry is when you HAVE to have them to feel beautiful and when little girls learn that their hair, nails, butt, eyelashes, breasts and whatever else aren’t “good enough” as God made them and should to be augmented.


I had lashes once a few years ago, when I was hosting an internet Tv show for National Small Business week. Someone owed me and I received $300 movie star lashes as barter! Hand applied, mink and done by the lady in Atlanta who does the news anchors. Guilty secret? I loved them. I just felt GLAMOROUS. Marilyn Monroe-y. And they DID make me prettier and saved me some prep time in make-up on set.

Fast forward to last week. Getting ready to shoot 20+ interviews for the upcoming Alpha Women Success Academy. (Oh, you are invited of course!) I was in the chair getting my eyebrows done and suddenly my intuition said go for the lashes!

I did it. First, $25 lashes are WAAAY different from $300 lashes. And someone glue-ing near your eye is just plain SCARY. (I used my yoga breathing.) But… the effect…hello black Marilyn, I missed you!
Where does the mindfulness come in? To keep these suckers on, you have to become MINDFUL. How I sleep, how I wash my face, moisturize and especially remove the make-up I’m layering on for filming.

Instead of RESISTING the extra work, I am enjoying it! Million dollar tip: I chose to change my MIND about it.  I am taking more time at night and in the morning with my face. I carefully wash it and anoint it with goodies like Vitamin C and sunscreen. I feel INDULGENT taking this extra time on me FOR ME.  

I didn’t need a reason to take better care of me… or DID I?

Mindfulness brings love and patience and Source into whatever you are doing. You can be mindful doing laundry, cutting grass (one of my favorite times to be with “me”), applying lotion or driving.

Mindfulness is just being 100% with you.

I am prettier in these lashes because my energy is heightened in them, in part because they have me investing more time IN ME. What you focus on and pay full attention to is VALUABLE.

What can you do this weekend MINDFULLY? Let me know if you need my help.
 

P.S. Eyelashes also fall into my “crutches” category because I am NOT a make-up girl. (If I told you how old my foundation was, you’d call the EPA..) It means I don’t have to try to cake on mascara. My normal make up is lipstick and eyeliner and neaten eyebrows. With lashes, I don’t even need the eyeliner!


P.P.S. Take 3 Mins and Enjoy a video of me teaching “Mindful Lotioning”!

 

​​​​​

​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Mindfulness] What You Can Learn From Fake Eyelashes…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Focus Mag] 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success

23

Aug

Audio, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
0

magazine


Our FOCUS: Setting yourself up for success
 
You can use my 4 Step Formula which works for everything apparently – I’ve taught you to use it to make ANY kind of decision and figure out why you are stuck. 

1) Commitment         2) Clarity        3) Choices      4) Action

Now we’ll use it to set you up for success when you begin to do anything new. 

Success doesn’t just HAPPEN. Get ready to learn a simple plan you can begin applying today!

 

      Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, World Famous Motivational Speaker


“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must PLAN to win, PREPARE to win and EXPECTto win.” 

 

 

Today’s TRAINING: 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success


Here are your 4 Steps: 1) Commitment     2) Clarity        3) Choices       
4) Action

Think of whatever it is you want or need to do. More sales? New business? Weight loss? Take action on your coaching? (I like that one A LOT). Got it? Now let’s run it through the 4 steps.

Step 1: Commitment

Commitment is where an Alpha needs to pick what she’s going to do. You’re going to pick it and STICK. To actually stick, you need to know WHAT it is clearly and WHY you want to do it. (And hopefully you “want” to do it instead of “need” to do it. We find ways to avoid stuff we “need” to do…) 

The question for commitment is “WHAT am I doing and WHY?”

The surest way to torpedo any project is to begin without a clear vision as to the goal that you are attempting to create. It wastes energy starting fuzzy. 

Please note, that I did not say that you needed to know HOW you were going to create it. You don’t need the HOW, you do need to know WHAT you want to accomplish.

A really obvious and easy example is say you want to enter a relationship with your perfect Alpha mate. You may not know “how” to meet him, but you can be very clear on WHAT IT IS YOU WANT and what kind of man he is. 

I have an Alpha right now working on that goal and she has attracted a number of very high-quality suitors (a date transporting her in a private plane quality). I just sent her the notes we created on WHO her man is, to remind her to stay on track with what she said she wanted originally – what she is COMMITTED to having. We figured out the WHO (her “what”) and God has been supplying the HOW.

Next, you need to know your WHY. The WHY is almost more important than the WHAT truthfully. If a woman is looking for a man to complete her, to overlook all of the areas in her life that are full of emotional junk and chaos and “just love her anyway”… she is in TROUBLE. That WHY is it at cross purposes to the Universe’s intention that we grow and heal our wounds.

Short answer: Not gonna work out. (You can’t opt of growing by having a mate that just says – “Nah, you’re fine.”)

When you’re setting yourself up for success, it is critical that your why is clean and focused on your highest values. 

Lastly, Alphas are ALL IN or ALL OUT women. So, you will be safest if you are all-in with whatever you’re doing.

DANGER:  Agreeing to partial commitments or to “help out a little”. (Who are you kidding?? You won’t stop at a little, so don’t agree to “a little”.)  A partial commitment is like a man saying “I love you sometimes.” See? Less than worthless. 

Step 2: Clarity

The question to set yourself up for success with Clarity is “What is likely to screw me up or slow me down?”

Truth please.

Clarity is always all about telling yourself the truth.

Here you’re going to look for and identify all the walking on eggshell situations that could occur and eliminate those. Look for these: opportunities for negative comparisons, nervousness you’ll mess up, anyone looking for continuous perfect performance or YOU THINKING you need continuous perfect performance. 

Here I am introducing a new acroynym. S.F.L. I’ll give you two of the words.
STOP  @#!%@  Lying.  SFL to yourself.

DANGER: Not spotting the hazards on the path ahead because you are
not looking, pretending to be superwoman, don’t want to deal with what you’ll see or any other reason you use to hide from any ugly truths (i.e. lie to yourself). 

If you’re going to start a business and you know you are really bad managing money -you need to face that ugly truth. You need to look it dead in the eye and correct it or delegate it or figure out some other way to cover it. Otherwise, it will stop you and slow you down. 

If you have a busy time coming in your business and you know that your children or your lover distracts you – Clarity requires you to tell the truth about how distractible you are. Most Alphas are born Rescuers. So if your mate or your children send any type of “distress call” – you will probably drop everything and rush to their aid, whether they really need you or not.

Do you remember the ancient video game called Pitfall? The adventurer goes to the jungle and he has to swing on a vine over tar and traps and crocodiles. You have to be able to figure out in advance where your tar, traps and crocodiles are!

Be especially mindful of any situation where you feel like everything you do has to be perfect. Listen carefully: you WILL screw up! If you are in any kind of a relationship (personal, family, business or otherwise) where your performance must always be  A level, you’re in deep trouble Alpha.

If you find that you were not good at spotting and telling the truth about the ways your new project can go sideways, bring in a friend or a coach like me. Other people can see into your blind spots because our ego is not hiding the information.

When you find your traps, you must do something to fix them. Mitigate them. Avoid, swerve, deter and otherwise solve them before you get going. The keyword in that sentence was… Before.

Step 3: Choices

The Choice question is “What can I do to make this easier for me?”

In Choices, you are looking to make choices adding things that make what you want to do easier.

All praise crutches!  Everybody should be able to lose weight on their own. Weight Watchers IS a crutch. And…Weight watchers helps people lose a crap ton of weight.  If it will help you – use it!

Make choices that afford you extra speed. It is easy to use a map to navigate but most people use GPS now because it freaking talks to you! It’s easier to have your map tell you you’re going to turn right, than it is to lean across the console and try to find the darn street while you’re driving. 

Hiring an assistant is a crutch. I presently have a team of five. Paying to work in a cool workspace is a crutch. I am so productive in mine. Paying extra to get the pre-boxed protein shakes from Costco that I love – crutch! 

I have like 6 pounds of protein in my pantry. (Don’t judge!) My ego will tell you all day that I should be at home with a blender mixing that powder and almond milk. Ha, I like my crutch! It saves me time.

Pay extra to buy shirts that don’t wrinkle if you hate ironing. Figure out what choices you can make to make your project easier, so you get your success.

DANGER: Giving in to the “…but I SHOULDN’T need this help…” voice or going cheap. Pay the freaking money and smile while you do. Get good at paying for help!! It gives you speed and the only currency we all have equally is TIME. How are you using yours? Me? I’ll buy speed.

Step 4 – Actions

The Actions question is “What is my first step to take right now?”

I promise that any project you’re doing, considering or in the middle of, will work better if you do these four steps.

***Setting yourself up for success means you pay attention to what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, what can block you, what you need to help you and where you need to start.

DANGER: This is where most of you want to start. So it’s no wonder you get frustrated or fail to reach your goals. It’s because you didn’t do Steps One through Three first.

I also teach that Step Four is where the Universe acts. Most people don’t begin anything because they’re waiting for the Universe to take action first. You’ve heard the famous quote, you take one step and God takes two. 

Take the four steps. Do the work. Build a path to success.

Go create something amazing! (And then give me partial credit… What? I’m your coach, that’s fair!).


Tanya Recommends:


Do you have young folks headed off to college? A friend tipped me off to this scholarship site!

It’s an app the performs scholarship matching for students. Easy and fast.

I still remember getting that huge phonebook sized book on grants and scholarships and slogging through it. I’d find one I liked and then realize I was not a male golf caddy of Irish descent!

Hope this helps your young people. Let me know if you get money!


www.airbnb.com/c/nathanias1

 

 

tip

Here is the practical tip for this week. DO the 4 steps. 

On paper is best but at least block out 30 measly minutes to run through a ‘lite’ version. It could change your entire life. 

Once you see how easy and reliable the 4 steps are you don’t have to feel overwhelmed anymore. Just stop. Breathe and whip out your 4 steps. 

What am I all-in on here & Why? What is in my way? What can I do to make my commitment work easier? Knowing all that, what is the action I start with?
 
The trick? Do it well before you need it. This is true with children also. Tell them the process for coming to you if they feel you’ve hurt them and tell them what you’ll do if they disrespect you. It takes extra anxiety out of the already stressful event!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

spir

We are creators and the 4 steps forces you to begin with the end in mind and HOLD onto the target while you are moving. That is a recipe for Divine Help, which arrives at Step 4. 

You tell the Universe what you want to create. You invest the energy in telling the truth about what is in your way and how you can HELP YOURSELF and then you begin where you can begin. That attracts miracles. 

If you are biblical, it connects to the parable of the widow in debt who was sent valuable olive oil to fill up as many jars as she invested the time to collect. The story teaches that we can only receive as much as we PREPARE ourselves to receive. The 4 Steps prepares you to receive and shows your active investment in your desire and so attracts success to your endeavor.
 

Wow Did You Hear?

 

 A Reader Appreciates the Message

“Thank you for showing that ONE may be more important than any other number.
​​​​​​​

If something doesn’t get started with ONE,  it may never get started. 

Great article.”
​​​​​​​

G.H.

Talk to Tanya

 

Spread the Word!


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My Mission:


I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop

Struggling

in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your

Business and BALANCE IT ALL.


Click Here to Visit FearlessFocusCoaching

[Gratitude] More Starts With ONE…

18

Aug

Health & Wellbeing, Life, Motivation
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
2

 

More Starts With ONE…

One. I grew ONE Sunflower.

I bought all these packs of seed and kind of randomly sprinkled.
I got a pot full of Zinnias – gorgeous, bold colored ladies.

I got some Morning Glories, which are UBER Alpha, they use the other slower growing plants as a trellis to climb! (I’ve discussed this with them at length, they are NOT backing down on this, they have seized control of their planter and seem to be plotting world domination starting with my porch!)

And ONE sunflower. I was standing outside admiring my little beauty when suddenly a bee flew up – right to my ONE sunflower. I stood back in awe as 2 more bees, one a bumble, flew in over next few minutes.

I had been thinking, she’s so beautiful and I’d focused on having more of her instead of just enjoying HER. But the bees set me straight. 

THEY were glad I’d grown her! The bees didn’t diminish her value because she was just one flower.Bees fly miles and miles (I’ve heard up to 16!). I shortened their work that day 🙂


 


Sometimes we don’t appreciate things without quantity. We forget all about quality and intentionality.

I am so proud that I grew my first Sunflower. I am crazily pleased that the ONE flower helped some local bees.

Weeks go by and I just yesterday I saw ONE butterfly come visit my Zinnias. 

I don’t have a fancy garden. I have a handful of flowers in pots that are beautiful to me. 

My small handful of flowers are a gift to my bees and apparently my ONE visiting butterfly.

 


Do not despise the day of small beginnings. Do not judge if your first or early results are small or singular. 

No great thing is born fully formed. Do I want you to have MORE? Yes. But please honor the single moments, the one accomplishment and great day that happens on the way…

If you have something that gives you joy or pleasure, don’t focus on how little you have of it. Focus on the fact that you DO have it. If you are aiming at a big goal, often it’s a great idea to aim first at a smaller piece.

Often the Universe is watching to see how you honor the humble and praise the single Sunflower you’ve grown, before it opens the floodgates of lavish supply.

This is true for ONE good day in an entire week, ONE good sales call, ONE great outfit that fits you perfectly. Practice your gratitude for the single points of goodness in your life so that they can expand into the MORE you desire.


 

Watch out for the habit of looking at your “ONE” in complaint or disrespect.

One sale can turn things around.

One job can save a family.

One coach can show you how to turn the corner to a life with less struggle.

Look for the singlegood things around you and praise them. 

P.S. Did you spot my ONE little lizard? He looks kind of like a Gecko. I had an adult hanging about earlier and my tiny little Universe of pots is now home to it’s little one. He was not much bigger than an inch when I first spotted him. Let me know if you think of a good name! He’s my Pest Control!

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​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.

 

 

 

[Gratitude] More Starts With ONE…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Wants You to Have MORE…

16

Aug

Arts, Audio
Tanya Stewart, Esq.
0 Comments
0

 

You’ve Got Voicemail…

By learning to trust myself and learning how to go ALL IN when it’s needed, I’ve expanded my capacity.
 
Read on Overwhelm & Capacity   &   Are You An “Either Or” Person?
 
 


Play Voicemail #14 (02:45)


In Voicemail #14 Tanya wants you to have MORE. You can have what you want without sacrifice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  I am finishing the Alpha’s Guidebook, building an online training course for Alphas, creating the 3rd Global event, Alpha Women Success Academy, coaching and renovating my home. I still have bandwidth available. You, Alpha, can do anything I can do! It’s a LEARNED SKILL.

 

 

 

​​​​​

​​​​​​​I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Resurrect Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE It ALL. 

 

 

[Audio] Voicemail #14 Tanya Wants You to Have MORE…Facebook Twitter LinkedIn