Author:Tanya Stewart, Esq.

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It is NOT a Regular Friday…It is _____ Friday…

My client Dawn told me she was taking photos to capture the beauty all around us.
She sent them to me. I arranged them below to share with you.
There is JOY available to you. But you must LOOK and EXPECT to see.

When you check out this video the only word that comes to mind is LOVE.

31 MILLION People have seen this video and I bet there were 31 Million SMILES.
There is LOVE available to you. But you must GIVE it first to RECEIVE. (Click to watch on my FB.)

Today I just want to wish you LOVE and JOY.
It is NOT a regular Friday. You are alive (others have passed).
You are willing to change (others resist).
God beat your heart 115,200 yesterday and you didn’t have to earn it.
It is not a regular Friday. It is YOUR Friday. Go do some little thing to make us both proud.

Share with me what you did with YOUR FRIDAY and I’ll share what I did
too on Wednesday!

[Expectations] Easy Answers to Your Hardest Questions Inside…

Aug

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What if Mt Life Isn’t Working Right Now? What Do I Do??

Then you should make your expectations general.

Specific Hope – Easy to do. Hard to receive. I hope I lose 25 pounds before her wedding (11.3 kilos).
General Hope – Better chance at receiving. Still has doubt in it. I hope I look good for her wedding.
Specific Expectations – Hardest to do but Badass when you can do it!I expect to find that white Marilyn Monroe movie dress in my size, on sale.
General Expectations – Play Here! Easier to do & easier to receive. I expect to find a dress that makes me feel like Marilyn Monroe that I’m happy to buy.

When you are struggling, soften your focus. It’s like when you are out in bright sun with no sunglasses, you squint to soften the focus.

When things are working well for you and you are putting in the work to remove doubts, you can expect more specific things. But be SURE those expectations always concern YOU. Your feelings, your happiness, your objects, your next projects and desires.

Can I Expect “Bob” To Do Something Specific – Like Pay Back a Debt?

Better to expect your money situation to greatly improve (General Expectation).

Can I Expect Someone to Love Me?

Hell NO. (Sorry!)

But what if they promised you say? Still no. Free will was given to us all. The strongest love, the fairy tale love is not based on ONE eternal promise, it is based on a new choice and a new commitment every day.

When you start “expecting” people to love you, your energy creeps into “entitled” and that energy is roommates with “taking people for granted.”If you had left the house today not certain your mate would be there when you returned,

HOW DIFFERENTLY WOULD YOU HAVE ACTED LAST NIGHT? THIS MORNING?

Do not assume love is owed. So many good things come when you don’t. So many bad things are invited in when you expect love like you own it.

Tanya, Don’t you Expect to Have a Family? To Be Found by Your True Love?

Yes! And for me, having a mate and creating a family overflowing with love is a general expectation. It is not an expectation of a specific guy (“Bob”) filling that spot.

And yeah, I slip and screw this one up periodically! Sometimes I forget – get distracted by the next awesome “possibility” in front of me and start wanting a man to change. Don’t do it!

If you catch yourself, release all expectations you put on them and let them show up however THEY choose. Next you look at what they are offering you and THEN choose. That honors free will and is self-loving.

(Hint: Men fear commitment because they value FREEDOM. This way of loving GIVES Freedom. Get it?)

I don’t love you because I need you.

I need you because I love you.

Tanya, Can I Expect Forgiveness?

Nope. To be forgiven in person, out loud is such a huge and unusual blessing.
We are all much more likely to be forgiven waaaay after the “event” and never know a thing about it.
To expect forgiveness is again “pushing” someone. When you push, they will lean away from you or resist your desire.

Fudge, Can I Expect Obedience?

We have a winner! As long as you are referring to employees, children or dogs (I have often commented all 3 tend to respond to praise and punishment in similar ways!).
Note – you can only expect obedience where they KNOW

1) What To Do

2) Consequence For Not Doing It

3) You Are A Good Leader That Inspires The Drive To Love You/Please You.

Obedience does not belong in marriages, friendships or partnerships as obedience requires a “superior.”

Well, What Can I Expect from my Spouse or Mate?

You can expect ONLY what the other person AGREED to. In most marriages, you agree to be faithful, so you can expect that. If you agreed to be the primary breadwinner, you can expect you’ll need to continue that.

If you agreed to sex on demand or spend what you want, the other person has a right to expect it. If you want to change your mind, you really need to TELL your mate so they can change their expectation and take whatever action they feel they need to now that their deal has shifted.

If you find yourself in a marriage where you need to change your “deal”, it can be terrifying. Since I spent 15 years as a divorce lawyer, I can help you figure it out so the marriage is most likely to survive. But please don’t keep doing what’s making you unhappy expecting it is too messy to fix…you are worth MORE, so don’t burn up the prime years of your life hoping.

In Joy,

[Self-Love] Put this on your Refrigerator!

Aug

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Charlin Chaplin, actor and mime wrote the most powerful and beautiful description of self-love on his 70^th birthday in April 16, 1959 – 57 years ago.

As I Began to Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody

As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

I want to learn this NOW before I am 70 and teach it to you.

Join me at my next Summit – The Self-Love Blueprint: How to Create from the Inside Out Vibrant Health & Visible Wealth. You will learn from me and 20+ other experts around the world for FREE. Get gifts from EVERY expert too – including full courses for free, one even comes with free Skype coaching!

I shortened the interviews to 30 mins – only a handful of the sexiest ones are a few mins. longer.

I hope you’ll support me by watching and sharing this with your friends below.

Help me teach and reach as many people as you can to honor the good I’ve shared with you so far!

They Work – Just NOT These 5…

Aug

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[Expectation] They Work – Just NOT These 5…

Here’s a short list of expectations that go against Universal Laws and will get you into trouble:

1. Expecting something for nothing.

2. Expecting other people to change to make you happy.

3. Expecting your conditions to change when your effort has not.

4. Expecting change to be comfortable, easy, free or convenient.

5. Expecting life to be fair.

1. Expecting something for nothing

Do you expect something for nothing? Many people will follow good leaders and teachers and then get annoyed if they ever go to “sell” something. Always being triggered when somebody asks for money FOR SOMETHING OF VALUE is about you not them.

If you think spiritual people should not have, ask for and receive money (and lots of it!) you just spotted a problem with your money associations that I guarantee are crippling your abundance.
I’m a teacher and I teach. In the Bible, Galatians 6:6, it says take care of your teachers. I coached a close friend for years but her abundance began ONLY after I manned up and told her the truth – that she really needed to give me value for the value I was giving her or find a coach to give value to.

It was a hard conversation but because I KNOW the law, I knew that I was doing her a disservice and I was REINFORCING her lack by acceptingnothing for lessons of great value.

Now? She is freaking abundant and no longer needs to pay me. Giving value let her finally RECEIVE & apply our lessons.
(I’m not saying following the Laws is always comfortable but it always works.)
I’ve coached businesses for years and I often see companies attempting to set up deals whereby they make it impossible for the other side to get a good value.

This. Will. Always. Fail

2. Expecting other people to change to make you happy.

You want to know how you can be CERTAIN it won’t happen?

Because look at how hard it is for YOU to get YOU to change! You have all the motivation the world to change and mostly can’t do it.

So how could you make SOMEONE ELSE do what you cannot do?

(For higher-level students the spiritual impact here is doubled – what you are NOT willing to do can never be seen or required from those around you – the Law is “Like to Like”).

3. Expecting your conditions to change when your effort has not.

You get out what you put in. Put in very little and the change won’t happen or won’t stay.

4. Expecting change to comfortable, easy, free, convenient

Check out my Post “God is Inconvenient”

5. Expecting life to be fair.

I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but life IS NOT FAIR – it is RIGGED. The game is fixed. It is set up entirely in your favor if you follow the laws! You want an edge in a game, you first learn the rules.

If you don’t know the rules (Step One) and apply them on a pretty daily basis (Step Two) and know how to course correct when something goes sideways. And the step three is to ask for my help.

I started writing the promised. “What if My Life Isn’t Working Right Now? What Do I Do? and it got DETAILED (i.e. long!).

****I will give you guidance on the following expectations:

Can I expect someone to love me?

Can I expect someone to pay me what they owe me?

Can I expect obedience?

Can I expect forgiveness?

What can I expect from a spouse or mate?

So I will expand on all of those questions on Wednesday so this post isn’t book length! Stay tuned!

P.S. Keep writing to me! When I hear from you it makes my whole DAY. I do this to serve and help you. When I create a breakthrough for you. Please share it with me!

Real Life Examples of How Expectation Works…

Aug

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As a teacher I love giving you real life examples of what I’m teaching so you understand that this isn’t just something from a moldy old book. If you have a great example on this – send it in!

Expectation vs. Hope- Example for Work:

A friend shared this example – thank you J!

He was interviewing a candidate who wanted a management position. So he asked what he EXPECTED for his salary.

He said he “HOPED TO GET” X.

He knew immediately that the candidate had doubts and was weak on whether he could get or deserved the amount he was asking for! Super application of the lesson.

Expectation vs. Hope: Life or Death Situation

A dear friend called me sobbing, telling me that her aging father was being taken to the hospital too weak to stand, speak and unable to breathe well. She told me that she only “hoped to talk to him again“.

I told her to EXPECT to talk to him. He indeed became lucid enough for them to talk. I then reminded her to stop and be grateful, as like all of us, she was already onto the “next” hope, worry & fear taking her miracle for granted.

Next she told me that she “hoped he could be sent home for hospice care”. Because I love her, I then did the only right and courageous thing at that moment, I screamed at her. I told her to knock it the hell off!

“Hoping” for hospice was really just expecting him to die. All of this was based upon HER fears and NO medical input.

She needed to be shocked off of the doom train she was riding.

In the end, he had a stroke and is recovering and with our expectations helping – he is in no immediate danger. AND she has seen the other HUGE blessings in the whole event too. Please be careful what you hope for and be grateful the moment any expectation arrives!

Read Last Wednesdays post for the example of Expectation vs. Hope ending my formally sucky birthdays!
I want you to actively start catching yourself when you’re “hoping” and find a way to make it an expectation of what you really want. This will require some work. So what. It will change your life.
Remember – what you expect isn’t always immediate – and it carries a price tag to legitimately go from doubt TO faith & certainty. Are you willing to pay that yet? I can help you do that.

Congrats to “I Coach with Tanya” Jar Winner!

CONGRATS to Linda who was the first to send me a brilliant “I Coach with Tanya” Jar!

I am sending her a copy of one of my FAVORITE books, The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield that helps you get your ego (he calls it “resistance”) under control

AND a Gift Certificate for a 30 min coaching call FREE ($175 Value) when she sends me a photo of the jar HALF FULL! I always reward action.

P.S. Friday I am going to show you a few of the ways you might be tempted to — USE EXPECTATION THE WRONG WAY, so you don’t put yourself onto a roller coaster of misery…and IF you are ON one- how to get off.

[Choices] Why You Should Be Ticking People Off…

Jul

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Why You Should Be Ticking People Off…

I am one of the gazillion members on Match. com the online dating site. I’ve been on and off it for years. The morning of my birthday I got a “hair-flaming, you suck a LOT email” from a rejected suitor.

And you know what? It felt MAGNIFICENT. Why you ask?

One of my mentors is Dan Kennedy, “The Millionaire Maker” who does marketing. He says if you are not pissing someone off, you are NOT taking a strong enough position on what you want.

When I had to say no for the 3^rd time- I got firmer. This is what I said (I’m “E.”) that triggered his “retaliation email”:

I’m good. I stood my ground. I know what I want, so if I can see you don’t have it, well, I DON’T want you and…drumroll…you shouldn’t WANT ME TO.

Can you see what he’s complaining about?

He is complaining that I want things my way (I DO!) that I want a man similar to me (I DO!) that I won’t give someone who doesn’t fit a chance (I WON’T!)

He confuses my having ROCK SOLID CLARITY about what I want with conceit or perfection (IT’S NOT).

Let that be OKAY. (Just between us, you can do a Hell YES dance over it.)

People will tell you that you are “being too picky”, that “perfect” doesn’t exist, that you’ll NEVER GET IT.

Tell them whatever you want verbally and in your head scream HELL YES, I WILL GET IT! and HELL NO I WON’T LET YOU STEAL MY DREAM BECA– USE IT LOOKS TOO BIG TO YOU!

I have several powerful women clients that are unhappy right now because as I help them grow it is becoming very clear that they married THE WRONG GUY.

They listened to someone else (or their own fears) and settled. (No shame here – I did the EXACT SAME thing myself! And I broke free.)

Now that they are becoming confident, powerful, happy and magnetic creators the gulf is widening. They said yes to the GOOD and didn’t wait for the EXTRAORDINARY. Is that you?

How good are you at saying no? Saying no to the “good” opportunities is FREAKING CRITICAL to allow space for even a SINGLE extraordinary opportunity to show up.

Let me know when you are ready to learn to use the power of your NO, stand without injury when others are angry at you and finally, finally feel like starting that dream you kept putting away because it made someone ELSE uncomfortable…yeah. I get it.

P.S. EVERYTHING brings you lessons! That email reminded me:

1) Soft no’s aren’t always kinder
2) I do actually EXPECT what I am asking for and
3) NO ONE can disturb my Happiness without MY permission! Hell No.

[Birthday Lessons] My Birthdays Used to Suck…

Jul

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Suck and Suck out LOUD…This requires a little backstory: I don’t know about you, but I have spent YEARS worried about my birthday.It was important to me so I always wanted to have good plans, made in advance that worked.

Ha! For at least 10 years (I should be ashamed to tell you) my birthdays have been anywhere from boring to disasters.

I, of course, blamed this on OTHER PEOPLE. LOL. Nope, it was ME.

The truth was that after a few screw ups eons ago (in my 20’s), I locked the “pattern” AND you guessed it…EXPECTED IT! Fearing it is EXPECTING IT.

When I got my advanced certification in Hypnotherapy a few years back the VERY FIRST thing I did was to hypnotize my “birthday” anxiety away! It went POOF and it felt kind of freaky NOT freaking out because my birthday was 1 week away and I had no plans.

That was the beginning of me letting the Universe plan my birthday and holidays. I just watch and see what SHOWS up and go with it. (Last Christmas I felt I should stay Home – no cross country flights, no airline security, me in MY house for the 1^st time, it was wonderful).

This year for my July 6^th bday I went with the flow and did a “no planning” short (90 min drive) up to Chattanooga, TN with my best friend, Victoria.

What I Did and You Should Shoot for in August:

(1) Always look pretty/handsome on your birthday or at least ONE dayper month. It just FEELS good.

(2) It’s nice to be the passenger – you get to see so much more than driving even right where you live.

(3) Find time to stop at THAT store/place you keep passing – we found an antique mall in the middle of nowhere during a rainstorm. We NEED little adventures. Give yourself 15 mins without rushing.

(4) Be kind to strangers in restaurants seated near you. I welcomed a lovely older man eating alone into my gift opening and laughter. He anonymously bought our lunch! THANK YOU!

(5) Experiences don’t have to be SUPER SIZED. I ate ice cream. I bought incense & a wood wick candle. We walked along the river for 45 mins. I had myfeet in the water for 5 and it felt luxurious!

I got well wishes from all over the planet – distance & first wish winner was Klemens in Beijing at 12:02am. Hi K! Personal cake graphic from Linda D 🙂

I didn’t need anything but I got lovely gifts. BOOKS! I didn’t plan for anything, I just expected to be happy and the Universe reverse engineered the day and the events to make that happen. (Hint: It’s a Law.)

Thank you for telling me the Expectations vs. Hope post moved you. I used to HOPE for a happy birthday – that SOO didn’t work. Now I expect a good one and simply let it arrive.

If you have been secretly “hoping” to work with me one day – STOP IT! I want you to expect to work with me.

Shoot me a reply and tell me you EXPECT to work with me. It might be next week or 7 months from now but taking action on your Expectations isespecially powerful when you have NO CLUE how to get it! It invites surrender and allowing. 🙂

Extra Credit: Get a glass jar, put “I coach with Tanya” on it and start putting in your daily change. Every time you add change say “I coach with Tanya”. If you send me a picture of your jar, I will send you a surprise 🙂

And yes, you can use this for other expectations too! You’ll be “charging” your jar with energy every time you repeat what you EXPECT and then add your coins = personal energy/investment to it. Trying “expecting” it to arrive before the jar gets full!

P.S. Friday I am going to tell you about how the super angry email I received first thing in the morning on my birthday was the BEST. THING. EVER.

[Choices] Why HOPE is Bad for you…

Jul

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Expectation ALWAYS Crushes Hope

To hope is good. To expect is better. I read that on a church billboard on my way home and the truth of it struck me SO clearly.

Our Universe responds to our thoughts, our energy and yes, our expectations. Expectation includes CERTAINTY.

Hope is usually an attempt to exclude DOUBT.

We HOPE we get the job (mixed in is fear we WON’T).

We HOPE the check arrives in time (but it MAY not).

We HOPE there are no more terrorist attacks and mass shootings (but we can’t be CERTAIN).

We EXPECT the sun to rise tomorrow. (It will)

We EXPECT our paychecks on payday (iffier, but still a fairly solid bet).

We EXPECT our refrigerators to be right were we left them this morning (clear winner here).

What we EXPECT we EMPOWER with our own energy and faith and because there is no doubt, we help create it or continue it.

MIRACLES have to be EXPECTED not HOPED FOR.

Expect What you Want - Then Take a Step Toward It

Expectation kicks Hope’s butt when it comes to manifesting or creating the life you desire.

ALL poor people HOPE to be rich. How many EXPECT to be rich? (insert cricket noise here)

I don’t HOPE to have a great family one day, I EXPECT to soon build a family overflowing with love.

I don’t HOPE I can help my clients get through crazy blocks, I EXPECT it.

Today I want you to ask yourself what you are EXPECTING for the good or the bad? (FYI – FEARS are negative expectations and very powerful.)

Second, I want you to pump up all the good expectations that are on solid ground. And tear down the “good expectations” that are B.S.

Those sound like this:

Things will get better somehow (umm, nope – no change, no reasonable expectation of better)

Rescue is coming (there is no rescue – YOU are YOUR rescue, you’ll need to act to save yourself)

Those are lines that the spiritually weak throw around. YOU are learning to be STRONG. So true expectations are important.

If you are reading this and realize that you’ve built up way too many hopes and precious few good expectations, let me know. I can help you form your own rescue mission.

And if I’m on the team, screw hope, you can EXPECT SUCCESS.

P.S. Look for a post next Wednesday. I have so much to teach and share, I need more room. I may start a campaign to turn “I hope…” into NSFW!

P.S. To test the power of EXPECT versus HOPE just use them right now. Say “I expect something wonderful” then say, “I hope for something wonderful”. Which FELT better? Stronger? Less “dependent”? Which intonation went “upwards” like a question/uncertain statement? SEE!?!

[Choices] Hell YES, Hell NO & Hell…Maybe??

Jul

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[Grab Bag REVEALED] And The Mistake Tanya Was Making…

Jul