[Blocks] Do you DECIDE & Then REGRET Your Decisions?
So, you made a tough call. Difficult decision. Finally and it’s done… Except that… it’s not.
Because you can’t leave it alone.
You constantly go back to it in your head.
· Should you have said something different?
· Is that really what they met?
· Maybe you could’ve made it work?
· Did you give up too easily?
· Maybe this time, they really WOULD do it they say?
So here’s the funny thing about making the right call and then screwing with it – it kind of obviates (fancy word for renders fairly useless) the right call that you just made.
Why? Because you are PROVING spiritually, energetically and emotionally that you didn’t WANT to do whatever you just did! Because you resent and regret the decision you just made, you are in fact resisting it. And yes, any resistance is a form of fear which leads to fuckery.
So let’s assume you finally broke up with a guy who’s an idiot or fired that awful client. You went round and round the mulberry bush with him, consulted all your friends, the stars and even your cat. Everyone agreed – he’s an idiot. You say “No more!” and close your door.
…And three days later you’re crying and wondering if maybe you were too hasty?
The energy that you will now spend regretting your choice undoes the original value of the choice.
This is why the Bible says the Universe loves a “cheerful” giver. If you give to charity, a church or tithe and you do it out of a sense of obligation, fear or pressure you don’t get a blessing for giving.
Why? Because your residual doubts and regrets and worries tell the truth about your motive! So you do not get the same ‘bang for your buck’ from giving (pardon the pun!).
I have an awesome Alpha right now who has grown to where she can make a difficult decision, but after she makes it, she spins and needs a lot of support to hold the line. (Decision Making Phase #6 Below).
If you say to the Universe, I am letting this idiot go because I don’t date idiots and I’m worth more than that, that’s good.
When you then say “Oh wait, maybe… and What if?? and Maybe I should’ve…” you CANCEL that good and say I’m actually not quite as worthy as I thought and maybe I should double back for a little bit more abuse.
Spinning after making a decision indicates that you have challenges with your self-trust and self-worth.
If I was a medical doctor, I would tell you that challenged self-worth and self-trust are the equivalent of a pre-cancerous mole that need to be treated aggressively, because leaving it alone is not the best plan.
The simplest thing you can do right now, without more coaching, is to make a list (a very long list if you can) of all the reasons why your decision was made well at the time you made it and keep re-reading it when you start to spin.
Gauge Your Progress: An Alpha Grows Through These 10
Common Stages of Decision Making
#1Cannot see that my decisions are poor
#2Can see that things aren’t working
#3Can see that my decisions are poor but can’t stop myself from making them
#4 Notice my decision is poor immediately after I make it
#5 Notice my decision is poor as I make it & begin trying to change
#6 Start making some good decisions but spin afterward
#7Making more good decisions with less spinning afterward
#8 Generally making good decisions that I can hold without anxiety or stress
#9 Almost always make a good decision and if I make a mistake, I course correct without beating myself up
#10 Decision Making BAD ASS
P.S.Happiness and confident decision-making skills go hand in hand. Unhappiness and indecision do too! Want to make good decisions? Talk to me. I have a few spots opening up for 1 on 1 coaching now 😊
I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.