[Focus Mag] The Power of Uncertainty
The Power of Uncertainty
At 10 p.m. last night, during a phone call with my best friend, our “we can only talk for a minute” call led to me tell her this story. As the lessons were pouring out of my mouth, I saw it…fudge…there goes another half-finished post…THIS is what I am supposed to share and teach tomorrow!
The power of uncertainty. I want to give you a reason to stop fearing NOT knowing. To find peace in your pause, when life seems to have you on hold or stuck. You now have a reason to stop struggling at every turn when things aren’t going your way.
Even though it’s late as I write this, I’m excited to share this with you… I love you. Let me know if how this helps you!
Teal Swan, Spiritual Teacher & Child
“You will not win the fight against uncertainty by becoming certain. You will not find your stability by trying to make the unstable, stable. Instead your certainty and stability will come as the result of decidedly embracing uncertainty.”
Today’s TRAINING: The Power of Uncertainty
UNCERTAINTY IS A BYPRODUCT OF LETTING GO OF CONTROL
It’s a friendly Universe and UNCERTAINTY is meant to help me because if I am always IN CONTROL, how can I be guided to what is even better for me?
If the Universe was having a board meeting on how to get you to STOP doing A and start doing K, how would they do that?
Even if they just SHOWED “K” to you, you’re Alpha, you’ll resist. You’ll want an explanation. You’ll analyze. Analysis leads to hesitation and in others words, you probably WON’T GO.
Let’s reverse engineer a normal story in my life to show you the power of uncertainty, how the Universe led me when I took my hands off the wheel. You’ll see I was uncertain, but I was constantly going the right way.
SCENE 1: Boardroom – Meeting of Tanya’s Team of Angels (who she calls “The Team”)
On the Agenda – Changing Tanya’s Gym & Sport for Exercise
She’s not gonna do it.
I know. I know. We need to HELP her somehow, make it look like it’s her idea. That way always works!
Jr Angel: So…I’m confused. We always do what’s best for her…why don’t we just tell her that she should stop going to the gym where she’s been for years, the one that is comfortable, cheap and close by, give up her friends there and just go to this different gym, much farther away, that costs 7x as much and return to a sport that she quit like 6 years ago?
(Indulgent smiles, a few long sighs from the senior Team members)
Yeahhhh….That doesn’t work. And we don’t work that way. We work through guidance and intuition not command and overriding. She still gets to choose, even if she chooses silly.
And did you HEAR yourself? Leave what’s comfortable at $20/month and go pay $133/month to resume a sport you gave up years ago? Nope. Nada. We’ll have to do this the long way. Slow and steady.
Ready with Phase 3?
December 2016 – Phase 3 Begins for Tanya
Tanya’s holiday travel schedule had 4 trips in 2 months: Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas and San Diego.
She finds it hard (ok, make that nearly impossible) to keep on her 3 day a week gym schedule. She gives it a shot but by the new year, aside from a 5K & hours of pacing, she is off track and not going to her gym.
—– Opportunity to Feel Like A Quitter
This was a great opportunity to beat myself up. I could have forced myself to do better but it’s like someone turned off my desire. I’d been in the gym all year, doing well, on a schedule and then I looked up and just couldn’t go.
I tried doing different activities at the gym and….crickets. My fire was still out.
I asked my coach about it (yep, I have a coach – she’s fabulous!) and she told me she could feel my routine had gotten stale. THAT FELT RIGHT. I was assigned to replace it. I knew I needed to but I was grateful to have the “assignment” to make it urgent.
I set aside 30 minutes later in the week to pick something new. (Ha!)
My coach recommended something social to get me out of the house. I’d just purchased a home interval training program. Ha again! Scratch that. Social and out of the house it is!
—– Pushing HARDER For An Answer Doesn’t Work
Seriously. Nothing clicked. Nothing fit. Nothing appealed.
I investigated yoga. Ok, did you know that yoga apparently infuses solid gold in your bloodstream while you do it? It MUST. Because I cannot think of any other reason why it should be $20 a class when I was paying $20 a MONTH for an entire gym including classes!
Monthly unlimited yoga is $120-150/month. I was curious but not THAT curious. Next.
Investigated other gyms. Nah. Running? Nah.
Martial arts? Ooo. This has some buzz. I kinda want to try this. Took a little in college for self-defense. Japanese street fighting. (I was actually given a trophy “Most Likely to Become Vicious” – True Story!)
First one I talked to, adult classes $149/month. Sigh. I want to “date” marital arts, not marry it!
Scene 2: Boardroom – Phase 3 Assessment
Has she voluntarily left her old gym yet?
Yes, the traveling did the trick. Once she was away, she lost the connection and hasn’t gotten it back.
Is she searching for a replacement?
Like an ALPHA! Yes.
She’s interested in yoga, but not geeked up to join a pricey yoga studio. She’s interested in marital arts, but same thing on pricey dojo.
Perfect. Launch Phase 4.
January 2017 – Phase 4 Begins for Tanya
I wonder if I’d like to go back to playing tennis? I liked it. I was good and I could get way better if I really focused on practicing this time.
Hmm. I wonder where I could play? Where could I find a team?
(Insert exhaustive search ending with there is no close by team to play on and no close by courts to play on…except…)
New idea: I wonder about returning to my old tennis health club? I paid a lot to be a member before, so I’m sure it’s even more now…but I liked it there.
Hmm… Funny, I never noticed the gym has been emailing me for 5 years…here’s one right now.
And I even still have all those tennis skirts and brand new balls!
Scene 3: Boardroom – Phase 4 Assessment
She’s found the health club that we want for her! She’s on track now!
Jr Angel: Phase 4 is a success! But does she even know about Phase 1 & 2?
You mean where she tried to sell all of her old tennis skirts and no matter how cheap she priced them, they wouldn’t sell because we knew she’d want them later?
And, where she tried to sell a brand new case of tennis balls the same way and
we kept them for her too? Nope. She didn’t notice Phase 1 & 2 when they ran.
We started those almost 8 months ago, so she won’t connect them until this is all done and she’s writing that blog thing she does. The she’ll look back and see how it was all worked out for her.
February 2017 – Night Before Tanya Will Return to Fancy Health Club
Why does it all suddenly seem so clear when it was so uncertain all along?
The uncertainty was necessary to open up space, so events could unfold to lead me where I will be happiest.
The club is pricey but it makes me feel rich. The club is also actually LESS than the other two options I seriously considered. And I like warm towel service and saunas and covered tennis courts in winter. It’s a place that is likely to be full of other Alphas, so it’s fantastic for an Alpha coach (and single woman!).
I let it be okay that my passion left what I was doing and I didn’t have my “next thing”.
I let it be okay that I was looking and NOT FINDING. I didn’t force anything to be my “next thing.”
I let it be okay that it looked like I was disappointing someone (my coach) by not acting faster, while I was still uncertain.
I now feel CERTAIN of my path and that feeling after about 2 months of uncertainty is such a warm relief! I trusted my feelings to know when I “know.”
I shared the story to show you 1) the Universe needs you to allow for moments “in between”. If you are always rushing to fill a gap, you may miss what you were intended to really have.
2) The power of uncertainty is in your releasing control and trusting that things are STILL unfolding for your good, in fact, often for a better outcome than you imagined.
Remember I asked you to focus on wanting what you want?
I now want to work out in a state of the art, country club like health club, that has 95 group fitness classes a week – including martial arts (check), 4 or 5 different kinds of yoga (check), premier tennis facilities, pros, lessons and teams and more gym equipment and pools than I could ever use.
I am happy to pay their rate and get everything I want.
I did not KNOW this in December. I had to let go and be “without” and be okay with being without, as I was led to where I am supposed to be.
ANYTHING NEW & ALL CHANGE FEELS UNCERTAIN at the beginning. To find your path to something new, you need to allow for uncertainty. Let yourself be led through your “not knowing.”
When you can embrace the uncertainty, by surrendering control and trusting the plan & the timing, the Universe works miracles.
I cannot wait to see what I find in my new (old) club! I will be the easiest sale the sales guy has ever had. 1 year contract here I come! Ok, but first – free passes!
I stumbled upon a sale! I’m sharing!
Wayne Dyer book published by Hay House after his passing.
I trust his guidance. He is a Master Teacher for me.
The Kindle, e-version, is only $1.99. I have no clue when the sale may end but since it’s still good at this moment, you may want to grab it now.
I had planned to read it tonight but the post changed, so I worked late. I’ll treat myself to starting it first thing in the morning while YOU read THIS!
Don’t try to instantly become okay with all the uncertainty around you. That’s hard. What do I always say? Pick one thing. And choose to allow it to unfold.
Act where you should and it’s clear but don’t force things. I’ll paraphrase a quote I love, attributed to Marilyn Monroe: “Sometimes things have to fall apart, so something better falls together.” Leave space for that today.
You can only be certain of a thing that is 100% in your control. Thus the attempt to have certainty, is an attempt to have control. The need to have control arises out of fear, a lack of trust that you will be provided for.
The more you can trust in the Universe and God, the less certainty you require. The less certainty you require, the more channels you leave open for your good to manifest. The more channels available, the quicker, the easier and the greater your good is when it arrives. It is in your best interest to make friends with uncertainty.
Wow, Did You Hear?
German Coach Spots His Business Block
My conversation with Tanya shifted from an initially casual discussion into a powerful coaching call. During it, I became more aware of the main impediment to my own coaching practice so far and where I had been hiding and actually running away of what I knew was meant for me to do and to happen.
Tanya´s words were simple and spot-on, right on the target, bringing clarity to what had been obscure for me so far. I am very grateful for the powerful impulses she gave me and her challenging me to set bold and daring goals.
With respect to time-related goals, I hadn’t felt comfortable so far to work with them, as I believed not meeting them within the time frame would set me up for even more failure. I now noticed, however, that time-limits with no pressured attachment to the timely outcome are very powerful.
Thank you, Tanya!
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