You aren’t scared of hard work-you’re just addicted to it
When an Alpha encounters something not working or going according to her plan, she pushes harder. She works harder. She puts in more.
Relationship troubles? She’ll read MORE books, watch MORE seminars, try to have longer deeper conversations, spend even MORE time analyzing the crap out of the situation in her own head and with her girlfriends.
We have been wired by society and our families to believe the answer to any problem is to simply add more of the ingredient of work.
Pop quiz: is this working for anyone??
I didn’t think so (didn’t work for me…).
They will tell you about how resistance (Which is another word for hard work) is often a signal that you’re going to wrong way or picked the wrong thing.
Why is this true? Let’s follow these truths statements and come to their logical conclusion.
Truth: your purpose is blessed and assisted by God.
Truth: God/The Universe wants your joy and your success and therefore WANT your purpose to work. (Easier translation-God does not want something and then thwart the doing of it.)
Truth: if God wants you to succeed and God is love, God would not test or thwart your purpose by making it unnecessarily hard.
Conclusion: you have free will, and if your Path is unnecessarily hard, it is because you have chosen the unnecessarily hard path.
So what I’m telling you, is when you’re working really hard on something and struggling with it, question it. Question whether you’re going the right way. You should consider hard work, especially sustained hard work, to be per se suspicious.
What You Value, You Ask For
In order to break yourself of the habit of hard work, you’ll have to stop valuing it as highly as you do.
You actually measure a lot of your achievements by how HARD they were to get-not by the achievement itself.
What does that say about a miracle? What does that say when someone just gives you something out of the kindness of their heart?
Those things actually don’t get valued the same way by you, because they didn’t come with all of that valiant struggle. When a good man loves you without struggle, what do you do??
You have to stop praising valiant struggle.
You have to stop looking back in your life and giving yourself so much credit for the mountain that you climbed, uphill, both ways in the snow. Rather, you might want to ask, if you looked around to see if a helicopter was available.
What you praise, you attract.
What you praise, you prefer.
What you praise, you demand.
Be very careful that you’re praising unnecessary hard work.
Today I was doing some hard work, because I found a mess that kept expanding and I had to fix it and I didn’t want to. I was struggling.
And I viewed it as suspicious. The real reason I was struggling is because of my unspoken feelings about how I was placed in that situation-not the work.
In the past, I simply would’ve pulled on my “I’m a bad ass hat” and dug in. In my current life, I had to stop and question how I had attracted this situation and what I needed to do to NOT get it again.
My hard work was suspicious!
I saw my lesson and I know the project will get Magically easier now.
My lesson was to speak my discomfort knowing it would hurt another. (Always taking punches for weaker folks does not make them stronger.) Done.
P.S You can be addicted to the story you get to tell after you’ve done all of the ridiculous hard work. Watch out for that! Now I like to tell stories of accomplishment WITHOUT the story of the “…oh but THEN I had to…”.
Periodic push is okay. Sustained pushing is a no-no, just like in labor.
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
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