[Alphas] Frogs vs. Princes: P.R.I.N.C.E.s Tend to Look Like F.R.O.G.S. Chapter 3 of 4
P.R.I.N.C.E.s are M.A.D.E. NOT B.O.R.N.
(Being Open, Resisting Nothing)
You are NOT looking for a man in his final, non-resistant, open to love state!
You are looking for a man DURING the process of his evolution.Everyone (and the Hallmark channel) has it wrong!
Are there men who are done? Yes, they are dead. Not kidding. When you are done, you go. Are there men who have evolved to the white knight and charger, gold braided epaulets visible state? Yes! They are the not commonly occurring, never going on sale men.
Let me remind you that even IF YOU’VE hit your evolved Princess state, that DOES not mean you don’t still NEED a F.R.O.G!
Your work is you. The better your ‘you’, the better your END GAME P.R.I.N.C.E.
Your ‘right now’ may still be a challenging mate that scares you (Frightening & Real Opportunity to Grow), because THAT is what you need to force your heart open another level.
A True Tale of My F.R.O.G. P.R.I.N.C.E.
I’m in my Happily Ever After. And no two are the same. My soulmate is the BEST vehicle to deliver my deepest lessons. Why? Because I am the MOST invested in our happiness of anything in my life.
When I met my mate, I knew he was mine. He was NOT is the state I was looking for. He was NOT in the state he is NOW. My closest friends wondered a bit but they trusted me. I wondered a bit more but I trusted GOD.
My P.R.I.N.C.E. was in a state of extremes. Too much work, too much drinking, too little exercise and too little sleep. I could see we would be balancing each other.
The skill my F.R.O.G. P.R.I.N.C.E. gave me was the ability to love myself and fill myself up WHILE disregarding gaps in what he could give. THAT is counterintuitive!
Alphas learn in the beginning of our lives to give TOO much. Then we armor up. We get into the “he’d better be what I need, he’d better love me my way, he’d better have all his shit together…” mode in our late 30-60s+.
The evolution past that brittle place returns you to your origins butwithout the fear. In the beginning you gave too much out of FEAR you’d get abandoned. On the far side of the bell curve, you can give BEFORE YOU GET, out of your love and abundance.
I had ENOUGH LOVE to carry me over rough bits where old me would have hit BAIL. I did not hit BAIL and am now in BALI. (Love the symmetry on that!)
Every since I hit this lesson, I am seeing it in my Alphas. You will hit a moment where your job is to keep your OWN love tank full while your mate hits his lessons with his ego. He does NOT have me coaching him!
Your F.R.O.G. will screw things up. He will step in it. He will withdraw, run or speak harshly. Your course is to stand still, love him and continue to do YOUR lessons without bailing or winge-ing (Ozzie phrase for complaining – to winge) that HE ISN’T DOING HIS WORK WELL ENOUGH.
Your long dark teatime with your soul may be short, it may be long. You may get two! I did. Whatever it is, it’s YOURS to do.
On the other side, you both move closer to your P.R.I.N.C.E.
P.R.I.N.C.E.s are M.A.D.E. NOT B.O.R.N.
So are Princesses! Be willing to stand and do your work. Be willing to love where love is needed but not necessarily earned.Remember, trust is given not earned.
When your F.R.O.G. feels real love, unconditional love, love that he doesn’t deserve, it will crack his heart open and he will begin to believe that HE is worthy of love. You cannot explain worthiness with words, it must be believed to be experienced.
This is the love of a mother for a child in trouble, minus the correction.
P.R.I.N.C.E.s start as F.R.O.G.s because we ALL start there. We grow together. Kiss your F.R.O.G.S. ladies because you appreciate and love them where they are and then they’ll choose to grow and take the scary path to Princehood.
Princes are valiant in fairytales and that heroism is always tested. He will have to do the scariest thing on earth, entrust his previously damaged heart to you.
Show him how it’s done and love him first without guarantee of reward. Kiss him even though he could just be a frog and trust your Universe to evolve YOU Alpha.
P.S Almost time for lunch! The staff here is too attentive, having to sneak alone time! My mate is under a grass roofed Bali hut, steps from the ocean, teasing me about writing my blog right now. Yesterday, we were running numbers on developing resort property here and debating where to have a mojito. I kissed my F.R.O.G. 🙂
Tanya Stewart is “The Alpha Woman Coach” and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
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