Are You Playing Favorites with Your Children?

Child Favoritism

Are You Playing Favorites
with Your Children?

In many families, parents can be found to favor one child more than another – much to the chagrin and anger of the other child or children. This is not just out of love, but the fact that the temperament and personality of one kid can be more in tandem with that of his or her parents. However, the problem can get compounded when parents focus more on troubled kids rather than children who are well-adjusted. The following questions will help you to understand whether you are playing favorites with your kids.

Are you spending more time with one kid?

If you are, you might be neglecting the other one. Parents are expected to love all their children equally. But they are humans at the end of the day and their preferences, as in case of many others things, tend to show even in the way they love their kids. Troubled kids need more attention, but focusing too much on them can make healthier ones feel neglected. Over time, even well-behaved kids can begin to behave badly, suffer from depression, throw tantrums to draw attention and show defiant behavior.

Is your kid ignoring or hurting his/her sibling?

Find out whether your generally well-behaved kid is showing resentful behavior to his/her sibling, and is ignoring or hurting him in any way. Not getting enough attention from mom and dad, and finding a sibling getting the same can sow the seeds of jealousy, anger, bitterness, anguish and extreme hatred. Even if you find your healthier kid trying to hurt the troubled one is seemingly innocuous ways, you need to be on your guard. The simple push, scratch or attempt to trip or making humiliating remarks towards the sibling can be signs of sibling rivalry and jealousy setting in.

Is your kid reacting in odd ways?

If your well-behaved kid is not hurting his sibling but is complaining too much and reacting strangely these days, the problems might already have started. Ask him directly whether he has any issues with you. Do not have a confrontational or scolding tone, as it can make him withdraw into a shell and refuse to open up about the actual problems. Instead, smile and ask him whether there is something wrong on your part that is annoying him. He may not open up at first, but supportive behavior from your end will eventually make him reveal his hurt emotions

Tanya Stewart
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