How to Move On After Divorce
How to Move On After Divorce?
After you sign the divorce paper, you feel, ‘it’s over’! It doesn’t matter who is responsible for it or how did it happened, but something that you started with much hope ends with the stroke of your pen. It is then the future looks frightening, things become bleak and you do not understand how to move ahead. But life does not to stand in one position, and it’s up to you to make it happy and fulfilling like others.
Getting divorced is an emotional phase where you ride on a roller coaster. Sometime you feel it was his fault and other times you think that if you had reacted differently, things would have gone better! You may feel miserable that the marriage didn’t work out and on other days you feel free. Good news. You do not have to carry the sour relationship anymore.
People don’t expect it, but recovering from divorce should include recovering from these mixed feelings too. You have to find a new normal. You will want to understand what went wrong. That’s normal but hard to do without unbiased help. Do stop blaming yourself or your partner for the break up. Rather than try to understand whose fault it was or how things could have gone differently-look for patterns in your life’s relationships you continually repeat.
As you start spotting your interpersonal habits and cycles, you may find them difficult to own. But the more truth you can face, the more easily can you real the patterns that led you to the divorce originally.
So, now you need accept and let go of your losses and move forward. For this you should:
- Let yourself grieve. After you reach the end of something you have pain you’ve stuffed down. Do not suppress it; let your tears flow out when they want. Cursing is good here to. Vent. It would help you release this negative energy.
- Talk about the future. Avoid rehash sessions; share your positive thoughts with friends, family, and colleagues. Not only will they help you go through this turmoil, if you keep looking “forward” they’ll stay happy to be around you.
- Let the anger by finding the fear that feeds it and voicing it. . Letting bitterness make its home inside you is like swallowing poison and waiting for them to die. Notice what you do that nurses your anger and what you do the lessens it. Do something to reduce it everyday.
- Set small goals. Now, your life is yours. No more excuses on why you aren’t where you want to be! Get busy, visualize, set your goals and take some action daily. You will find yourself picking up momentum and enjoying life again.
While you are recovering from the emotional stress of divorce, get yourself a good coach. Your friends may not understand why you want one, but don’t let that stop you. A pro coach knows your situation and will help you overcome your grief, sorrow, and anger and turn it into fuel for the new you. They can see where you really are, help you spot and break life long patterns and attract and create what you really want into your life.
Tanya Stewart, Esq.